AIBU to not disclose compensation

I would wave it under his nose and say it’s going into MYbank accounts but don’t tell him how much you got

You really need to find out why the cheque is in your name.

Apart from all the aforementioned points, do you know how the refund came about? In my experience it’s not likely for a utility company to provide a refund from an overpaid fuel account unless it has been requested. They prefer the money to remain in their account as credit towards future bills. Your husband may have requested the refund and be watching out for it.

Serendipidy
You do check your bank a/c, don’t you?

£25 per week.. Really that's about £3.57 a day?
My question is why are you still with this tight wad..?
Original question.. Yes your money and for your own wellbeing see a Solicitor!
This this abuse, controlling behaviour.
Best of luck you need it.

My feeling is that there’s a lot more to this relationship that needs looking at, than the question of one cheque. Obviously, we all have different ways of doing things, but this really does feel as if you are being controlled? Do you have friends outside the marriage?

Grannynannywanny her cheque was compensation for her electricity being off for more than 24 hrs last month. Many of us went without electricity for days during a very cold spell and for people without any other form of power it was a very difficult time, believe me.

Thank you for all replies .

Barmeyoldbat that is sooooo funny hahahahahaha.

Right, well it has always been the way it has been and many many a row had evolved over it. I have yelled in his direction that its like living with Scrooge himself. Anyway, without going into great depth and all laid bear, i will just say that THIS is the norm and always has been the norm. There is nothing untoward or hidden, its plain and simple, it is what it is ànd i know that if roles were reversed, he would disclose the cheque immediately, so i am left feeling uncomfortable about whipping it away out of sight.

I might buy things that are needed for the house that way i won't feel as guilt ridden as i would if i sat in a hairdressers being pampered, if that makes sense .....

Sorry, I missed that about it being a power cut refund despite having read the OP. By the time I posted that had slipped from my memory.

Those prolonged power cuts must have been horrendous for those who recently experienced them.

So what's this really all about if things have always been like this and you're going to disclose the cheque? You now say there is 'nothing untoward or hidden'. That's not what you said at first. You seem to accept the financial situation and you even joke about it. The electricity account must be in your name if you've received the cheque, though as has already been said usually the electricity company would deal with this by issuing a credit against the account. Cheques are a bit old hat these days and I have no idea when I last received one. I may be getting paranoid, but is all this for real? It isn't a situation many of us would be joking about. You put me horribly in mind of another poster who's been having us on and getting loads of sympathy and advice. I quickly googled the benefits I imagine you're getting if under retirement age and they're three times the figure you're quoting. As your husband is getting the state pension perhaps you are too? An explanation would be appreciated before I get totally disillusioned.

Ooh, who’s the other poster, Getmanshepherdsmum? I tend to be easily taken in…..

Maggie Tulliver/Lucy Snowe/SinglePringle. I hope I'm wrong as I don't want to start distrusting everyone new, as I was a few months ago, but all the signs are there apart from the storyline. I feel I have been taken for a mug again.

During our 49 year marriage DH and I always had a joint account. Either of us could sign cheques (remember them?) and authorise payments. It always worked for us and, when DH died, it made it much easier just to change the account to my name only.

We went through ups and downs but I don't think we would have survived any suggestion that some of the money was his alone.

Heck ! I can assure you that my plquestion of AIBU is totally genuine, why on earth would i take time to write A B and C if i didnt want feedback ? Isnt that the whole purpose of Gransnet ? You might as well say that every mortal post is fabricated for the sole purpose of sympathy !!!!

I am not pensionable age, there is 10 years between myself and my husband. If i have joked about it, then all i can say is that considering it is the norm and considering i have 'put up' with it for 30+ years and had many rows over it, maybe joking about it is my personal way of dealing with it whilst at the same time being upset that this situation is taking place.

Ilovecheese

Keep it. If it shows up on your utility bill, tell him "This was MY CHEQUE IN MY NAME AND YOU ARE NOT GETTING YOUR HANDS ON IT"

Exactly this!!

Oh I'm enjoying the thread.
You have a moan, love.
Will he fit under the patio?

Germanshepherdsmum

Maggie Tulliver/Lucy Snowe/SinglePringle. I hope I'm wrong as I don't want to start distrusting everyone new, as I was a few months ago, but all the signs are there apart from the storyline. I feel I have been taken for a mug again.

The OP's name is familiar and a quick search shows she's been posting since at least last year, longer than you, and on different topics.

If you have concerns you should report to GNHQ, not speculate.

Unfortunately for her, I think her plight is genuine.

If this is a genuine post, I cannot understand why a refund cheque has been issued in your name.

You say you have separate bank accounts and your husband pays the bill, so where do you come into it? How come the utility company can issue the refund to you? How do they even know you exist?

MissAdventure hahahaha... 'under the patio' THATS FUNNY...

YES I FIND IT FUNNY, if that is allowed ?

Germanshepherd you didnt need to go to the lengths of searching for the total sum of benefit allowance thinking you were exposing a liar, in the nicest way possible ( as much as words typed out on a screen can do ) i can assure you that all i wanted was feedback on all truthful explanations, i thank you for your feedback and yes i myself can be very sceptical about certain things in life but on this occasion there is absolutely nothing to be sceptical about ....

I send you a bunch of flowers to settle everything

£25 a week is an awful allowance

does he work for the DWP

OK if you’re not pensionable age humour me by explaining why do you only get £100 a month in benefits for being unable to work? And telling me how you received a cheque from the elec co if the account isn’t in your name, which doesn’t seem to bother you in the least? It just doesn’t add up.

Calendargirl

That is what i thought too ( cheque in my name ) i cant take a photo and post on here because obviously my name will be known nationwide hahahaha .... i know my husband pays the direct debit and the actual bills and all info comes through to my phone ( my email address that i access on my phone ) so THAT is the 1 and only time that MRS is part of this whole cheque - AIBU post do its as baffling to me as it is to everyone on here totally baffling...
It says on the letter that the cheque was attached to that they have put the cheque in the only name that they have on their records, which made ME think * but its MR who pays the direct debit not MRS*

No question, keep it

Blimey ! This is getting way beyond the initial reasoning for my question.

Ok Germanshepherd i have no idea whatsoever why i get the amount i get in benefits, you will have to take that up with the people who set the amount. I do not chase every possible benefit going, for the ery simple reason that i would far, far, FAR rather be able-bodied than raking in every penny piece thats out there, money cant make my body work as it should do, so i get what i get because i was steered in the direction to claim it. I was a carer before i lost an awful lot of my ability to do the job that i love with a PASSION....

I am not trying to humor you or win points, if you have your sights set on i am making ANY of this up then i cant change that and i am sorry you feel this way as i said before, i THOUGHT the purpose of Gransnet was to put problems out there for feedback ! Obviously i have got THAT wrong.