AIBU to not disclose compensation

Hithere

OP

You are severely under reacting

You are stuck looking at a leaf (the check) and ignoring the forest (the overall situation)

How financially savvy are you? From your comments, sounds like not much.

You are 10 years younger than your husband.
Are you aware of passwords, what accounts are setup where, due dates of bills, how much to pay every month know bills, how much money on both accounts, etc?

If he is not able to be earn or passes away, you are left with a house and your account. A house is not a liquid asset like money in the bank.

How are you planning to support yourself? What money to use? What budget?
Are you assuming other people will step up and help you if he dies (family members, for example)?

Instead you are scared you are "hiding" a check that came under your name, scared of his reaction.
That says everything.

Please get your head out of the sand and dont be an ostrich.

You are in trouble as your financial future is not planned.

Actually I'd be making enquiries about his will! It's not always the case that wife gets the lot automatically! Not if he wills otherwise, in which case you'll be age to fight your corner and prove your worthy. He sounds an absolute horses rear end(sorry Dobbin) worse things have happened but not often!

Use it towards an appointment with a divorce lawyer

Ok....
Here goes. Husband is not technology savvy so if an email is needed for anything it is always mine as he doesnt have 1.

The check has nothing whatsoever to do with benefits as i dont claim anything to do with receiving a reduction on A,B or C.

My only guess is as 1 of the gransnetters pointed out, that the cheque MAY have been put in my name because the house is in my nam, this i have no concrete evidence of, only guess work but whatever reason, a cheque has arrived through the letterbox in my name and i am in a dilemma whether to disclose or keep shhhhh.

I reckon you've earned that money by ensuring the cross examination of your financial status and expenses.
Blow the lot of it!

KEEP IT!

Ofgem state customers can get compensation for power cuts of £70 for first 24 hours, then £70 for each subsequent 12 hour period:

www.ofgem.gov.uk/information-consumers/energy-advice-households/check-compensation-rules-power-cut-or-supply-problem Serendipity22 is clearly the customer if the bill is in her name.

I can't believe her husband doesn't have an email account, not if he has any savings worth worrying about. Perhaps he doesn't have much money and the £100 per month wife's pockey money is actually him being generous!

When he was 48, my father had a nervous breakdown I know that’s not a term they use anymore, but you’ll get my meaning!

During this time and forever afterwards he was exactly like this with my Mum. Aside from the fact that he was wealthy anyway, both of his parents died and he kept all of the inheritance. You may think that’s fair enough, except that my Mum’s parents had died some years before and she put the money into joint ventures e.g. paying off their mortgage, huge home improvements and buying him a flashy car.

He used the breakdown as a reason for being abusive to her in other ways too.

She had put everything into their marriage, he wanted a large family, yet she was expected to bring us up singlehandedly.

Her eldest child was born at a time when women were expected to give up work as soon as they started a family. Eventually she did take her accountancy exams and she could work. Even then he would only ‘let’ her work part time.

You have my sympathy Serendipity22 you are experiencing financial abuse.

Keep the cheque. He’d do the same to you.

When did your pocket money last increase? I think it’s time to push for more each month. Whether you do get an increase or not I hope that you are able to squirrel some of it away for a rainy day?

I would certainly not have email if it wasn't that my work uses it as the usual method of communication.
I hate it!

MissAdventure good lord! cross examination too true, whoaaaa, i only wanted a brief take on the matter, tell or hush thy mouth forever

Ohh well, it is what it is, i guess its been entertaining to say the least.

I might buy numerous lottery tickets and if i win big bucks, i will give him a few quid, can't say fairer than that, but in the meantime the cheque stays in my bag and i walk about in a dilemma hahaha.

Once again, thank you everyone.

This is weird. From where did they get your name as the addressee? Are you sure that your husband is not paying the W&E bill in your name, for some kind of benefits / discounts / allowances? I'd tell him. He might already know that you (plural) are due a refund, anyway, and if he does not know and finds out, he'll accuse you of keeping other refunds / cheques from him.

Your husband doesn’t know anything about emails and you deal with them. You must know what the stuff from the electricity company which comes through to your phone is. You dodge that point every time it’s raised. You are the account holder, you are well aware of that, it’s why you’ve received a compensation cheque if indeed you have - very few big businesses use them - and this is all a heap of old cod.

Did you perhaps qualify for the compensation due to your health situation? If so were you and you alone affected? Was more energy consumed. If your DH pays the bill surely he is entitled to the money if more cost was involved. If the payment is made out in your name then wouldn't it be difficult to pay into his bank account.

It wouldn’t show as a credit because it isn’t a credit ,it is compensation for being without power, £70 per day after the first 48 hrs.
If he is aware that compensation is due and chases it up and they say we sent a cheque in your name, what would his reaction be? Only you know if it’s worth it, and if you divorced you would be entitled to half of his savings, house, it is both of your monies.
If you do housework , cook , clean etc, that has a price attached to it

Limits you to £100 spending money a month??? Are you completely mad? That’s financial abuse!

We don’t have any joint accounts either but for various sensible reasons. I have several accounts in my name and I don’t do any paid work these days. DH is retired and receives the income into his main bank account. He pays my credit card bill and transfers whatever I ask for per month into my account, for spending.

Why are you still married to him? What are you getting out of this relationship? My DH would never treat me as anything less than an equal partner. I can’t imagine living with someone who was so controlling and abusive, to be honest. It doesn’t sound like a very loving partnership.

In your shoes I’d make an appointment with a Divorce lawyer in the New Year.

Definitely keep it. Sounds like coercive control to me!

Absolutely you should keep it. The cheque is made out to you!
You do know your husband is being financially abusive don’t you? How do you manage on £100 per month when it sounds like he could afford to transfer a higher sum to you each month.
I’ve always worked but by my own admission am rubbish with money so my salary has always been used for food a few bills and anything the children needed. My husband earns a great deal more than me and he paid the joint mortgage and the majority of the bills and did the majority of the saving. He has always put his savings into an account in our joint names and for the last 5 years has out the maximum amount allowable into my ISA because he says it’s all ‘ours’. I also have access to all his accounts should I need them.
You need to have a conversation with your husband!
Enjoy your little windfall without guilt please.

She’d lose the house, haven’t you read the posts? She would claim half the money, he would want half the value of her house. Ain’t going to happen.

For heavens sake Germanshepherd this is turning into some sort of vendetta, i can only put in my posts what are true, i can absolutely assure you that there is no cloak and dagger behind anything. I have absolutely no idea why the cheque arrived in my name, if i did have reason to know then it would all have been explained in my initial post so my question was understood, as it is, i literally have ziltch no idea why the cheque is in my name and quite frankly i dont know how many times i need to say this.

You obviously think its fabricated, for what purpose i have no idea and i can only say it is not.

Your posts dont exactly make members of Gransnet freely post their questions !

You still don’t say what it is you’re receiving via your phone from the electricity company because you know perfectly well the account is in your name and probably has been since you inherited the house, which you’ve kept in your name yet you expect full disclosure of your husband’s financial position. Hence in the unlikely event that you have received a cheque, which is very much yesterday’s currency, you know exactly why it’s in your name. Prove me wrong.

I would bank the cheque and not mention it.

If your husband finds out because it is mentioned on the next bill, you need to have made up your mind whether you will admit you banked it as it was in your name, or pretend to know nothing about it.

What worries me is not this issue but the wider one.

You have no means of support except the money your husband GIVES you.

You have no joint account, but have and have always had seperate accounts.

If your husband pre-deceases you, you will be left with no access to his accounts as they are in his name.

My advice to you is that you after Christmas phone your bank and ask what the precise situation with regards to your access to your husband's accounts will be if he predeceases you.

If they will not or cannot answer and your own bank advisor is equally unhelpful, consult a solicitor or Citizen's advice.

You are unable to work due to ill-health. You did not mention how long you have been in this situation, or if you have at any time contributed to a pension fund.

I do not understand why you are not receiving a disability pension, so please find out whether you are entitled to one and put in a request for it.

You need to find out exactly what your financial situation is now, if it can be improved, and what it will be in the event of your husband's death.

Unless you are addicted to gambling or alcohol, I do not understand why your husband behaves in this manner regarding money.

For reasons which are no business of mine, you have accepted his decisions, but as you have been married to him for 30 years I am going on the assumption that you cannot be much under 50 and presumably are a good bit over that, so it is only reasonable to consider what will happen if you are widowed.

I know none of us like considering it, and feel callous in doing so, but please, do consider the future for your own sake.

Bloody hell!
This isn't crown court!
Stop it.

Just think about it MissA.

The cheque is a refund for money advanced to buy Energy which was not received. It is a refund to the person who paid the money, therefore, according to you, your husband.

You know perfectly well it is not your money, so you should be honest about it with your husband, no matter what other financial arrangements are in place.
A very strange thread.

This thread shows clearly who do not bother to read the whole thread before adding their tuppence worth.

The situation sounds quite toxic to me. I have always been financially independent, despite being disabled since infancy,and I always worked to provide for myself and two children. I don’t know what to advise as he may find out and withdraw your allowance. Good luck.