Moved over 100 miles, AIBU

Schumee

I don’t think calling someone a “daft bag” is very kind either

Oh dear - have you realised yet?

Hi Daftbag1!
I am ashamed at some of the hurtful replies that you have received; where is the kindness that we all need right now.
For those who state that you must have known about your daughter's domestic violence, I can honestly say that a lot of domestic violence goes on behind closed doors and is well hidden and that is a fact. I only hope that you can see it as a positive step that your daughter has now separated and is living in a better place.
With regards to your move I can understand how hurt you must feel at moving to support your daughter only for her to move away; you are obviously caring and thoughtful parents.
2022 will not have started well for you but hopefully it will improve as the year progresses. I hope and pray that you can make the most of your new home and move forward with your lives.

I don’t think you are being unreasonable, but nor do I think she is being unreasonable, I just think it’s an unfortunate situation. Perhaps you moving near gave her the impetus to take that very brave step and admit that she was living in an abusive relationship. You may have acted a catalyst to her without her even realising it.

The housing market is fairly brisk at the moment, is there any possibility of you looking for a bungalow in your previous area and so move to a more suitable property in your former area?

I know it is unsettling, but these things happen. We moved just round the corner to be near my Mum when she was very ill, but then had to move again out of area when the property became uninhabitable.

Whatever you decide I wish you the best of luck

When my son and his wife told me that they were moving up north, some 200 miles from me (their existing house was just five miles away), I was obviously shocked and upset.

However, there were some very good reasons for this move. A few minutes after they let this bombshell fall, I went to their bathroom and gave myself a good talking to in the mirror.

It was NOT about me, but what is good for THEM. After about ten minutes I was able to return downstairs smilingly to tell them how happy I was for them and how much I supported them.

It is so important for people NOT to live their senior lives via their AC and g.children. I finally moved out of London, where I had lived all my life 150 miles away.
I have built a new social life here (despite problems of lockdowns, etc), Love all my AC, and get them to visit me as often as possibles and try to get to see them in their own homes at least twice a year.

Of course they are the most important things in my life, but do not expect them to take me into consideration when making any changes or moves in their lives.

I am sorry that the move has not worked out for you and that your DD has been through such a difficult time.

It is always a risk when moving near to adult children that they might at some point move on for whatever reason, positive or negative.

Do you think that you can make social contacts in your new area and make a life for yourselves there? That would probably be the best route to go down; unless you really feel that settling there without your DD there is not an option for you; in which case trying to move back is the only option.

I wish you lots of luck with whatever you decide to do. And I hope that your DD can find a happier life for herself.

Moving near children is never a good idea Live life for you not for or through children or grandchildren