To think friend was disrespectful

MayBeMaw

We may have wildly differing notions of what constitutes “dressing up” to go out.
Would it be intrusive to ask OP what she was wearing, what the other elderly lady was wearing and what the friend was wearing , so that we had a better idea of her expectations?

That's a good idea Maw. If OP would tell us we would have a much better idea of how her friend's clothes differed from everyone else's.

If she has any sense, she won't say another word, surely?

It's not really a matter of how important it is to her, more a matter of how important it is to all of us, 8 pages on...

Oldwoman might just have wanted to initiate a general discussion about dress codes. It was probably the mention of it on the Mumsnet newsletter (Over on Gransnet....) that turned it into such a hot topic.

I think you would extend your politeness to not publicly criticising the clothing choice of someone you went out with
I hope I’m a model of tact, diplomacy and good manners Baggs
Not, of course, that my friends would ever wear anything that I might feel inclined to criticise. Though MrA has very occasionally had to be ‘advised’

Depends where you work and how you dress for work. This person had clearly not been at work in the city.

MissAdventure

If she has any sense, she won't say another word, surely?

It's not really a matter of how important it is to her, more a matter of how important it is to all of us, 8 pages on...

I'm only on page 2

I must have small pages!

MissAdventure

I must have small pages!

You can change posts per page to 100 - Customise at the top of the thread.

Small Pages sounds like a rock group

Will it make the writing smaller?
I can barely see what I'm doing already!

No, you just have to keep scrolling down.

Do you use a phone? I can't see it if I use a phone.

It’s 8 pages here too.... can’t believe it.

Yeah I'm on a phone.
I'm a single parent, so it stands to reason I have the latest phone.

MayBeMaw

We may have wildly differing notions of what constitutes “dressing up” to go out.
Would it be intrusive to ask OP what she was wearing, what the other elderly lady was wearing and what the friend was wearing , so that we had a better idea of her expectations?

This is getting a bit nasty now.

Beswitched

MayBeMaw

We may have wildly differing notions of what constitutes “dressing up” to go out.
Would it be intrusive to ask OP what she was wearing, what the other elderly lady was wearing and what the friend was wearing , so that we had a better idea of her expectations?

This is getting a bit nasty now.

No it flippin isn’t.
It was a straightforward question.
Blimey- some people’s minds’! ????

Not to mention aggressive.

Perfectly pleasant request, MayBeMaw, which might help us to understand the criteria.

See my post about jeans and ballgowns!

MayBeMaw

We may have wildly differing notions of what constitutes “dressing up” to go out.
Would it be intrusive to ask OP what she was wearing, what the other elderly lady was wearing and what the friend was wearing , so that we had a better idea of her expectations?

I'm not sure it would matter that much. The OP appears to be upset that her friend wore the same clothes she'd been wearing all day.

If she looked presentable - then the elderly couple who invited them out for dinner probably didn't know that she'd been in the same outfit all day!

The OP's 'issue' is that the friend didn't "make the effort" that she (OP) thought the occasion required, and thought it disrespectful. So it appears it wasn't so much what she was wearing, more the fact that she'd been wearing it all day!

Callistemon21

Perfectly pleasant request, MayBeMaw, which might help us to understand the criteria.

See my post about jeans and ballgowns!

Posters have made their point, very robustly. The OP now appears to have left the thread. Why keep on and on and on at her? It's unkind and unpleasant.

Why indeed are you keeping on and on?
You of course with remarkable prescience seem able to tell the rest of us at what precise moment OP left the thread - was that before or after your own aggressive comment at 19.43?

Why keep on and on and on
I wasn't.

I was chatting to another poster about how to change to 100 posts on a page.

It's has become a general discussion about different expectations of occasion dressing.

I'm not being aggressive

Please miss!
People are talking to her even after she’s packed her bat and gone home!

I jumped from page 1 to the final page as I often do.
I would have liked to have seen illustrations

Your friend put effort in where it mattered- helping out in a crisis. The idea that how she dressed for a thank you dinner is baffling to me.

I sincerely hope she’s not on gransnet. How incredibly insulting.

MercuryQueen

Your friend put effort in where it mattered- helping out in a crisis. The idea that how she dressed for a thank you dinner is baffling to me.

I sincerely hope she’s not on gransnet. How incredibly insulting.

If you read the thread….friend has been shown this thread!

MayBeMaw

Why indeed are you keeping on and on?
You of course with remarkable prescience seem able to tell the rest of us at what precise moment OP left the thread - was that before or after your own aggressive comment at 19.43?

Lwhete did I mention a precise moment. I said the OP 'appears' to have left the thread.
If you are going to become defensive at least try to do so without twisting other posters' words.