Have you had an operation and how did your husband cope with helping you at home

Sounds like everyone's DH has taken the wedding vows re 'in sickness and in health' to heart. Well done chaps!

DH is great with the cooking as long as I remind him it’s time to start cooking! He isn’t great at looking after me when I’m ill because he hates being looked after himself. My DD had to change my surgical stockings because his hands were too large and clumsy. If I’m ill in bed he will forget I’m here and I have to phone him for a cup of tea. To be honest, I’ve told DC that if I need proper care they have to put me into a home. Very sad but also true.

Kali2

Aren't we women often our worst enemies. If we have accepted that housework and cooking is solely our domain- or accepted that this is what is put upon us- then why are we surprised if 40, 50 years later- this does not miraculously change???

This with bells on. I'm shocked at the 'can't complain', 'mustn't moan' attitude from some posters. FFS they aren't doing you a favour. It's called a relationship and men should bloody well pull their fingers out from day 1. Why have you accepted anything less?

My second husband 'couldn't' (wouldn't) cook. Just once (in 21 years) I was ill in bed with gastric flu. The children complained that there was 'nothing to eat' - so I relayed instructions to the eldest on making salads, beans on toast, scrambled eggs etc.

Husband, meanwhile, went into overdrive hoovering and making tea, getting takeaways - and saying it was strange how angry he felt that I was ill (angry = scared). When I felt a little better and needed more than toast, I was presented with a Chinese - just too greasy when you still feel nauseous.

When I managed to leave the bedroom, and get downstairs (about a week later) there was a mountain of dirty laundry next to the machine and the house was a tip!

Oh - and couldn't empty the kitchen bin, but had put it out in the garden.

Sadgrandmathank you for your explanation re the plastic bag trick. I hope you make good progress and will be able to be out and about for the spring.

It’s good to hear about all the helpful spouses. I don’t have one at all - I live alone. When I had my hip done, DD drove me home from hospital and stayed overnight, but I sent her home the next day and managed perfectly well on my own for the whole recovery period. I put on my own stockings, did my own injections, and took household chores at a gentle pace. I know other illnesses and conditions are much harder to cope with, but I’m a bit surprised that some posters require so much help from a significant other after a hip replacement.

I have always been a matriarch in the kitchen my husband only ever makes his chicken soup and the odd simple lunch. I had hip replacement ten years ago I was not encouraged to use a walking stick and was on my feet straight away. I managed with one pot wonders and soups the slow cooker was a big help.
My husband was working we had a business to run at the time. He took time off to take me for hospital checkups redressing etc. Our daughter was off school for the holidays doing A levels so that was a big help.
Since retirement my husband is more involved with the house work. I know I am stupidly stubborn but it stems from my parents arguing in the kitchen every meal time. I just like the kitchen as my domain!

Hetty58

My second husband 'couldn't' (wouldn't) cook. Just once (in 21 years) I was ill in bed with gastric flu. The children complained that there was 'nothing to eat' - so I relayed instructions to the eldest on making salads, beans on toast, scrambled eggs etc.

Husband, meanwhile, went into overdrive hoovering and making tea, getting takeaways - and saying it was strange how angry he felt that I was ill (angry = scared). When I felt a little better and needed more than toast, I was presented with a Chinese - just too greasy when you still feel nauseous.

When I managed to leave the bedroom, and get downstairs (about a week later) there was a mountain of dirty laundry next to the machine and the house was a tip!

So bad.