Sleeping around

Riverwalk

Let's not pretend sleeping around is something new!

In any large group of women, particularly younger ones, there will be a sizeable proportion who sleep around.

It's nearly 50 years since I started nurse training and there were quite a few very active colleagues, as at the teacher training colleges which then were overwhelming female.

Nothing new under the sun.

Thanks for adding the sweeping statement about teacher training establishments Riverwalk I hope you have examples or was it just hearsay.
I certainly was not promiscuous and neither were any of my friends, The one that I went to had a lot of male students. What I found was the girls from all-girls schools were much more nieve where boys were concerned whereas the ones who had been to coed schools knew the signs to watch out for. I never fell for the poor me I don't know how to do my washing or to make beds come and see my etchings.
I did have the chance to observe nurses though and they hunted the young Dr's in packs so obvious .
People have always slept around but I do not think you can attribute it to any one profession except the oldest in the world and at least they got payed for it.
As I have heard one teenager say "It is only a vaginal sneeze untill the sneeze turns into a coldsore'.

Beswitched

It just seems sad and sordid to me, completely divorcing sex from love and commitment, falling into bed with someone you met in a club a few hours ago, doing the same with someone else a few days later.
It may be consensual but it also seems to lack self esteem and self respect. Like a previous poster I would be sad and disappointed if a child of mine behaved like that.

... but people have been having sex without love and commitment since time immemorial (or time 'immoral' as my mother used to say!) - particularly men. And that's not likely to change.

Also, assuming that women accumulate their partners by going out clubbing and "falling into bed" with someone they've only met hours earlier, is not necessarily the pattern for all women. Some just have many 'partners' for a given period of time - who is to say that their relationship, though possibly brief - is one without affection?

I don't see what is sordid or sad about two people who are mutually attracted having consensual sex and not ending up in a committed relationship. If they are both like-minded and enjoy it together why should they be lacking in self-esteem and self-respect?

A young man I know had a brief-fling with someone and, having met up with her much later by accident, became good friends with her.

People are different. It's as simple as that.

Who would think that we (well, most of us) belong to the generation that 'discovered' THE PILL!

Sex is not just about love nor is it a filtering process Sex is a biological need that is enjoyable to fulfill Many women me included enjoy sex and have had several partners or even numerous partners Providing contraception sensible safer sex precautions and consent from all parties concerned are in place Enjoy !

My step sister was a virgin bride as she was a strong practicing RC.
She married for life to an abusive man and is still with him.
Most people I know had multiple partners before marriage or a settled living together relationship. Times are different now and I don't judge anyone as its individual choice. Each to their own.

sazz1

My step sister was a virgin bride as she was a strong practicing RC.
She married for life to an abusive man and is still with him.
Most people I know had multiple partners before marriage or a settled living together relationship. Times are different now and I don't judge anyone as its individual choice. Each to their own.

I'm not sure what your point is. I live in Ireland which was a strongly RC country up to a generation ago. Lots of people were virgin Brides and went on to have very happy marriages. Your post is actually quite narrow minded and insulting.

Women sadly marry abusive men. Some of them are virgins, some of them have had previous sexual partners, some have had many. There is no co relation.

Well I think people who say hundreds are probably exaggerating, but I see no problem with having sex for the sake of having sex, not everyone is looking for a life partner.
I wish I’d tried out a few more, been a bit more experimental, I also wish one of my daughters had not settled for the first man who came along.
As someone said to me recently, she didn’t have many regrets, but she wish she had been more of a slut.

Beswitched

sazz1

My step sister was a virgin bride as she was a strong practicing RC.
She married for life to an abusive man and is still with him.
Most people I know had multiple partners before marriage or a settled living together relationship. Times are different now and I don't judge anyone as its individual choice. Each to their own.

I'm not sure what your point is. I live in Ireland which was a strongly RC country up to a generation ago. Lots of people were virgin Brides and went on to have very happy marriages. Your post is actually quite narrow minded and insulting.

Women sadly marry abusive men. Some of them are virgins, some of them have had previous sexual partners, some have had many. There is no co relation.

How is saying 'Each to their own' insulting? It is literally saying, everyone has the right to make their own choice.

Well, given, at least in heterosexual relationships, there is one man and one woman involved either the numbers are roughly similar or, if they're not, there must be some extremely promiscuous women out there. Or someone is lying.

Germanshepherdsmum

I agree with all of you and am glad I’m not on MN. If I had a daughter who behaved like that I would be very disappointed in her.

Exactly what I think whenever these reality tv programmes come on!
As if sex isn't promoted enough, now they actively encourage different partners!!

I know. Wouldn’t watch one if you paid me!

When I was a student, 1964-7, there were plenty of girls who 'slept' with their boyfriends, but not many one- night stands or casual pick-ups, because of the fear of becoming That Sort of Girl and more realistically, the threat of pregnancy: very limited birth control and illegal abortions.
Nowadays sexual relationships seem to be more casual but perhaps they founder earlier because the sex is unsatisfactory; a good or bad thing?

eazybee

When I was a student, 1964-7, there were plenty of girls who 'slept' with their boyfriends, but not many one- night stands or casual pick-ups, because of the fear of becoming That Sort of Girl and more realistically, the threat of pregnancy: very limited birth control and illegal abortions.
Nowadays sexual relationships seem to be more casual but perhaps they founder earlier because the sex is unsatisfactory; a good or bad thing?

I agree with you eazybee I was a student in the late 60's early 70's. Some girls did sleep around. Some I think used the "pill" that had come along to enjoy their time with their boyfriend before going on to marry.
In an earlier post, I said my friends were not promiscuous perhaps I should have said I don't really know, they never announced and were proud of it if they were.
If they had multiple partners they did not make it common knowledge neither was it a right of passage to have had sex.
In the city where I trained one college was known since before my time as "The virgins retreat", the other "The whores on the hill", I was at the latter and we went out of our way to refute the title.

Well I know that some girls at my training college had steady boy friends and some went through a number of men. Let's not forget that men were as wary of having full sex as girls were. They might suggest it but they probably wouldn't push it (they didn't want to father a child). So what today might be a one night stand turned into a bout of heavy petting. I went to many parties where girls met a boy and had a bit of a fumble in a dark corner.

I wasn’t a virgin bride, coming up to our golden wedding this year, hopefully, but along with many of my contemporaries, I only slept with someone after quite a while, and also with someone I loved and hoped loved me. Also we respected each other, I felt he would never be bragging or gossiping about me with his mates.

The thought that my 14 year old GD might be co-erced into unsuitable photos or behaviour with potential boyfriends saddens me. Just hope she thinks more of herself than some poor girls seem bullied into.

Gagajo

I think you misunderstand my point.

Absolutely nothing wrong with having multiple sexual partners if that’s what you want. It says nothing about self respect or respecting other people. It’s just a choice and a perfectly acceptable one, as are the multiple alternatives.

Yes. They seem to do a lot in schools chatting about sex education but little on healthy moral relationships. But I'm at fault too I don't think I ever did that much chatting or sharing of thoughts with my daughter on exactly what you have described.

AmberSpyglass

Absolutely nothing wrong with having multiple sexual partners if that’s what you want. It says nothing about self respect or respecting other people. It’s just a choice and a perfectly acceptable one, as are the multiple alternatives.

Well I suppose opinions differ. To me it says an awful lot about self respect.

would you rather single women just masturbate? I feel embarrassed even asking this but the attitudes on this thread are so Victorian

JaneJudge Why not do both?

Beswitched I suppose I’m confused about what it exactly you think it does say about self respect. I’m not sure what that has to do with who you sleep with?

Why are you confused? Like a lot of people I think jumping into bed with numerous partners, including some or many you barely know, shows a lack of self respect. It's not rocket science.

I suppose you can only think it shows a lack of self respect if you think that having sex with someone is somehow degrading or debases you in some way. If you think it's just having fun it shows no lack of self-respect any more than playing a game or sharing a joke does.

I mean it's possible it might but being in a long term relationship or marriage might indicate that as well.