AIBU

"if they had any availability for 10 week blocks and that she would take him every Saturday but we would have to pay"

Rolf, she is delusional playing a parent role on your penny.

Needs telling by your husband and soon. Even if she was offering to pay it’s your decision.

www.gransnet.com/forums/aibu/1306313-Am-I-being-over-sensitive

So this is a continuation of how your mil is overbearing and your partner is on her side.

Rolf, she is delusional playing a parent role on your penny
???

£120 a month for swimming lessons once a week for a 2 year old? £30 a lesson?

You're having a laugh, aren't you?
The other one's got bells on it.

Is your husband aquaphobic?
Why can't he take his son?

Firstly - it's between you and your DH to decide about swimming lessons.
Secondly - that sounds very expensive. Does council not run any?
Thirdly - it's an excellent skill to have for life but at 2 there is time to have lessons and time to have fun in water.
DGS1 has had lessons as baby and is now 8 and confidently swimming. It is mostly me that takes him (DD pays - council lessons). He moans about them but enjoys when he is there. I am glad he is swimming confidently now. His passion is football though and does that 3 days a week. He has been promised by DSiL swimming lessons can stop when he is swimming confidently but no word of that yet.
DGD - his sister also has had lessons since babyhood. She is 5 and now progressed to lessons in bigger pool with floats etc. She seems to be ahead of her brother at the same age and is much more serious about it. So Granny now has 2 of them to take at the same time. DGS1 goes to football immediately after swimming.
DGS2 - is almost 4. DD2 cannot afford swimming lessons as is a single parent. Have taken him to pool when I can and he loves it but lessons are not on the day I look after him and would not be fair if I paid it as haven't paid for the other 2.
My own DC - they had lessons when we started going abroad and using pools. They were all a little older - over 5. Learned more quickly than DGC.
Justamom - it is an excellent and possibly life saving skill to learn but you have time on your side for lessons to happen. If your son is 2 and you are expecting baby 3 then you sound a bit like me. When DD2 was born I had 3 under 3 and life was hectic without adding in swimming lessons or any lessons really. It was a major feat taking DD1 to playgroup and going to toddler group without adding anything else. We couldn't afford it anyway as I had left work and we had one salary. I worked on nurse bank when DD2 was about 1 but it was a struggle. Your DH needs to put his foot down with his DM and suggest she takes your DS for fun only just now. There is time for him to have lessons in the future.

One of my children and two of her children are club swimmers to quite a high level, and none of them started lessons before they were four.
So just having fun and gaining confidence in the water is good enough for now.

Tell her firmly that you cannot pay and there is no point ringing up. Repeat repeat! And DH has to stick to that statement too

I think I would have to tell her it's not her decision and refuse to discuss it.

Perhaps she should offer to take him to the pool in her own time and give him water confidence. That would be advantageous for everyone and give you a break from your busy schedule. Great at an early age but surely he doesn't need lessons yet, especially at such a price.

ROLF I think should read ROFL (roll on floor laughing) not sure what the penny comment is about.

Someone asked why DH can’t take him it’s not that we don’t have the time we simply do not have the spare money right now to make a commitment to lessons, we are having another baby and are currently in the process of moving to a bigger house. I did tell her she’s more than welcome to take him once a week to the pool to get him used to the water, even though we go once a month. I agree it’s very very expensive the pool she wanted son to go to was in her home town and it was 2 45 minute lessons a week for 10 weeks. Our local pool has waiting list of 2 years that my son is already on and I told her we are happy to wait till then. Husband for once is on my side and perhaps I should have mentioned that he did tell his mum that we will make sons arrangements as we are his parents although it was kind of her to offer to take him, we are just going to ignore her if she brings it up again, we have told her no and that’s that!

If your MIL phoned and there was a space for your son, she would have to pay there and then wouldn’t she, so a bit pointless as I assume she doesn’t have your bank details.
Anyway, beside the point, tell her in NO UnCertain terms to butt out! Oh the cheek of it!!

Absolutely ridiculous to pay out that for a 2 year old take him to the pool yourselves and if he hasn’t learned to swim by 4 or you want him to learn more accurately then he can have lessons and she can pay for a christmas /birthday present

Your husband needs to be the one to tell her ‘no thanks’ (and keep your nose out missus)

Just read your last post which wasn’t there when I posted Husband sine the right thing stick to it

The last time you posted about your problems with your mother in law posters spent time giving you good advice and strategies on how to deal with her.
So here we are again at ground hog day. You are either a troll or ( I’ll leave you to fill in the blanks)

This is not your MIL decision!!
Of course you want to enjoy the experience of being there when your child does have swimming lessons. Your son is two years old for goodness sake ! Time in the pool to become accustomed to the water is ok, but lessons ?? I am not sure about that. Whatever the pros and cons this is not a decision your MIL should be making, you have given her the opportunity to take him to the pool for a fun session that is a generous gesture and she should be very happy with that. Also seems very expensive. I wanted my children to learn to swim so lessons were arranged at about age 7, although I recognise children learn at an earlier age now - but IMO age two is too soon. My son had massive problems with his ears and I was told no swimming! His lessons were delayed till he was 10 years old - he was swimming across the pool after 5 lessons!
You and your husband must stand your ground - this is your child and you will make the decision when the time is appropriate for you and your child. Good luck!

No you are not being unreasonable - she is. Say no, we can't afford it. No discussion.

MerylStreep

The last time you posted about your problems with your mother in law posters spent time giving you good advice and strategies on how to deal with her.
So here we are again at ground hog day. You are either a troll or ( I’ll leave you to fill in the blanks)

How rude of you to suggest I’m a troll!!! I wasn’t asking for advice on what I should do or say? I was asking if I was being unreasonable for thinking it was a-bit cheeky of her to say she was going to phone up and book lessons but she had to take him and we had to pay! I didn’t realise I couldn’t post another thread if i had posted previously! You seem like a rude person!

She won't be able to phone and make arrangements for lessons anyway as she isn't a parent and she won't be able to sign the relevant forms. If she keeps pestering say "No" and then ignore her, if she tries to set it up the pool will tell her.

trisher

She won't be able to phone and make arrangements for lessons anyway as she isn't a parent and she won't be able to sign the relevant forms. If she keeps pestering say "No" and then ignore her, if she tries to set it up the pool will tell her.

I didn’t even think of this! Thank you

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Just say 'NO' very firmly and if she brings it up again ignore her. Discuss with your husband and tell him to do the same.