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AIBU

To have been upset by this encounter today

(192 Posts)
Beswitched Sat 19-Mar-22 19:53:48

A young mum was having a go at an elderly man who had parked in a p&c space. He was trying to explain he had a blue badge and I could also see an elderly woman in the car beside him
He remained courteous throughout while she became shriller and shriller. I complained to customer services and they said they would sort it out.

But what makes people behave like this? It was so rude, aggressive and unkind.

As I was leaving the man's car was in the space and the self entitled young mother had presumably been told to park elsewhere.

Franbern Sun 20-Mar-22 09:10:41

I have a blue badge - and would never dream of using this to park in a P&C space.

Far too many people with disabilities and /or elderly seem to think that they must take total priority over everyone else.

Whereas, I would not excuse this young woman's rudeness, she does have a good point. She is 'entitled' to park in a P&C space and probably is on a far tighter time schedule that the blue badge car that used such a space.

I also use a mobility scooter (just the smaller pavement model), again, I am often horrified at the attitude of some (a minority) users of these - often the larger ones - who seem to think that this gives them total right of way on pavements regardless of other pedestrians. I have found that virtually all pedestrians are really lovely and helpful when I am using this on a narrow pathway - many of them even going out into the road or crossing it to give me passage. I ALWAYS give them a smile and a Thank You. I do try to very careful when there are children - do not expect them to get out my way, I try to keep out of theirs.

In the past, I had many small children (beside my own I was a foster parent for many year). I can still remember how difficult supermarkets were with two or three or more of these with me. So, Yes, I have been in all those places (Mum with small children, Carer - my hubbie had MS -now, disabled myself). However, I try to give respect to all of these without arguements.

Farzanah Sun 20-Mar-22 09:25:01

Baggs Thank you for that poem, and it is so true. A useful reminder when we get annoyed with complete strangers. Our whole lifetime is barely the blink of an eye in the great scheme of things, and we never know what problems others may have who are rude to us.
I don’t think that the times I’ve had a run in with a total stranger, I left feeling happier or pleased with myself, but tended to brood on it all day. Not healthy.

Caleo Sun 20-Mar-22 09:36:04

Without presuming I know more than I do I may say I have met with the attitude among some young mothers who believe other people owe them an extraordinary amount of help, reverence, and consideration simply because they have young children.

Elless Sun 20-Mar-22 10:08:30

I have a blue badge and have got used to people abusing the parking places, usually young people with fast cars ?, as previously mentioned, years ago we would struggle, I remember getting the bus with my pushchair, a toddler and a tree I'd bought whilst out shopping! ? Parent and child places should be for parents with toddlers, there's no reason why mothers can push a pram across a car park.

Yammy Sun 20-Mar-22 21:07:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Beswitched Sun 20-Mar-22 21:21:46

My mother once pulled up someone who had parked in the disabled bay in the village and told her that my father had been unable to attend a barber's appointment because she had taken the only accessible space.

The young woman was all apologies, hadn't realised, so sorry, etc.

The next day her car was parked in the disabled space again. Some people are just despicable.

Patsy70 Sun 20-Mar-22 21:46:56

Caleo. The attitude is: ‘I am a mother, make way for me!’ ?

nadateturbe Sun 20-Mar-22 21:52:10

Beswitched

Yes both of my parents needed disabled spaces in their later years. I don't think some people realise how essential they are, and how much more necessary than p&c spaces. The latter are helpful of course, but not the lifeline that disabled spaces are.

No parent should ever use a disabled space as a substitute for a p&c space. The other way around is perfectly justified.

I agree Beswitched.

She was wrong to be so rude. I'm glad you did something about it.

Nanatoone Sun 20-Mar-22 21:56:04

It’s allowed for blue badge holders to park in the P&C space if no spaces are available in the disabled bay. They often need the space to get in and out too. My late hubby used to have to get himself in a certain position to get in and out, needing the door wide open to do it. The mother was setting a bad example to her child and should be ashamed of herself. She’s lucky she doesn’t have a disability and having a child with you certainly is not one!

25Avalon Sun 20-Mar-22 22:06:04

Suppose it was the other way round and the young mum unable to find a P&C space took a disabled space instead? I bet the disabled badge holder would have been extremely upset by this and asked her to move. We all need to respect each other. My son was disabled and no way could I now take a disabled space. I would walk miles carrying heavy bags rather than do that. Neither would I take a P&C space. It’s all about knowledge and respect.

Blondiescot Mon 21-Mar-22 08:07:06

Elless

I have a blue badge and have got used to people abusing the parking places, usually young people with fast cars ?, as previously mentioned, years ago we would struggle, I remember getting the bus with my pushchair, a toddler and a tree I'd bought whilst out shopping! ? Parent and child places should be for parents with toddlers, there's no reason why mothers can push a pram across a car park.

While I totally agree with most of what you've said - with regards to the last part, the parent and child spaces are usually much wider than the normal ones so you can get a baby in a child seat in and out of the car easily. It can be very difficult to get the door open wide enough to get the car seat out in a normal space, especially if the car next to you is parked right on the white line. Modern baby travel systems usually use the kind of seat which simply clicks into the wheeled base, so you need the seat.

Beswitched Mon 21-Mar-22 08:13:26

25Avalon

Suppose it was the other way round and the young mum unable to find a P&C space took a disabled space instead? I bet the disabled badge holder would have been extremely upset by this and asked her to move. We all need to respect each other. My son was disabled and no way could I now take a disabled space. I would walk miles carrying heavy bags rather than do that. Neither would I take a P&C space. It’s all about knowledge and respect.

You cannot legally park in a disabled space without a blue badge.

Disabled people are entitled to park in P&c spaces. Their need takes priority.

Sarnia Mon 21-Mar-22 08:37:55

It has never made a lot of sense to me why there are M&C spaces in car parks. Why do young and presumably fit mothers need to be right by the entrances? What I would rather see are more of the wider spaces for the larger vehicles to use but they should not be designated solely for M&C.

25Avalon Mon 21-Mar-22 08:43:54

Beswitched interestingly enough it is not illegal to park in a disabled bay. If it is on the road you will be issued with a fine. In private car parks including supermarkets it is different again and the policing is carried out by the supermarket which varies from one supermarket to another. Legally supermarkets have to provide disabled parking as part of the Equalities Act. They do not have to enforce who parks in it. Waitrose don’t as they say they trust their customers. You don’t even have to have a blue badge but some supermarkets such as Tescos’s insist on it so they can see if you are disabled and if not their car parking firm will issue a fine. Sainsbury’s attendants will ask you to move and if you don’t will issue a fine. Aldi issue fines.

Just shows we all have conceptions and misconceptions about disabled and blue badge parking. Parking in a disabled bay if you aren’t is disgusting.

Iam64 Mon 21-Mar-22 08:46:23

Thanks Blondiescott for making the point about the need people with buggies have for wide parking spaces. If they have toddlers, being close to the supermarket entrance is helpful in keeping the children safe from inconsiderate drivers

JaneJudge Mon 21-Mar-22 08:50:01

I have been challenged so many times over the years for parking in a disabled bay with my child who has a disability and it was ALWAYS elderly people doing the aggressive arguing. I used to just show them the badge but all this confrontation over parking is unnecessary.

Beswitched Mon 21-Mar-22 08:51:59

25Avalon

Beswitched interestingly enough it is not illegal to park in a disabled bay. If it is on the road you will be issued with a fine. In private car parks including supermarkets it is different again and the policing is carried out by the supermarket which varies from one supermarket to another. Legally supermarkets have to provide disabled parking as part of the Equalities Act. They do not have to enforce who parks in it. Waitrose don’t as they say they trust their customers. You don’t even have to have a blue badge but some supermarkets such as Tescos’s insist on it so they can see if you are disabled and if not their car parking firm will issue a fine. Sainsbury’s attendants will ask you to move and if you don’t will issue a fine. Aldi issue fines.

Just shows we all have conceptions and misconceptions about disabled and blue badge parking. Parking in a disabled bay if you aren’t is disgusting.

Thanks, that's interesting.

I agree that parking in a disabled space without a blue badge is awful behaviour.

I don't have a problem with other groups in need eg someone recovering from surgery, an elderly person without a blue badge parking in a p&c space if it makes their life a bit easier.
But for a disabled person an appropriate space is the difference between being able to access the shop, and having to go home without their shopping.

25Avalon Mon 21-Mar-22 09:09:27

I once parked in the road put the blue badges up, unloaded my son and went into a shop. When I came out an overzealous traffic warden had slapped a parking penalty on the vehicle which was specially adapted and had a road tax exemption badge, but I had apparently displayed the badges on my side rather than kerbside! I had to appeal to the chief constable to get it rescinded.

Maggiemaybe Mon 21-Mar-22 09:24:23

Sarnia

It has never made a lot of sense to me why there are M&C spaces in car parks. Why do young and presumably fit mothers need to be right by the entrances? What I would rather see are more of the wider spaces for the larger vehicles to use but they should not be designated solely for M&C.

The wider spaces near the entrance are provided for the safety of young children, not the convenience of parents. As others have said, the extra space is to allow for the door to be fully opened when children are taken out of car seats, or put into pushchairs. In this area there are very few parent and child spaces as opposed to spaces for people with disabilities, and they’re usually in demand.

It’s interesting that more than one poster on here who actually needs a space for people with disabilities has said that they wouldn’t take up a parent and child spot. Good on them, that’s really thoughtful.

MawtheMerrier Mon 21-Mar-22 09:35:28

I have appreciated P&C spaces whenever I have had my GC in the car and would not see them abolished, but Blue Badge spaces are a necessity for many and should always take precedence. Mind you, with so many 4x4 type cars , the extra width is fast becoming necessary.
When my children were small I used to shop at the Arndale Centre in Wandsworth (long gone I believe) . Sainsbury’s was on the ground floor with a multi-storey car park above. Trolleys had to be returned to the store so once you had paid for your shopping (and packed it into bags) you wheeled your trolley containing toddler and shopping to the lifts, went up to whichever floor, decanted shopping into boot, wheeled trolley plus toddler (in the baby seat) back down to the shop, got your 10p back and then trailed back up to the car , carrying toddler who was bored, hungry and stroppy by then, to the car, hoping you had not overstayed your 2 hour parking limit!
If only somebody had invented P&C spaces especially on the ground floor or even outside the shop!

trisher Mon 21-Mar-22 09:44:01

It isn't clear from the OP if there were any disabled parking bays available. If there were he was obviously just using the P&C space because it was closer and the mum had a right to be cross.
As for the man of course he remained calm He'd got the space.

Yammy Mon 21-Mar-22 09:48:05

I have been in this man's situation, I parked in an unmarked bay went shopping and came back to a barage of very bad language from a young mother.
She claimed I had parked so close to her she could not get the child inside the car. She had neither found a wide bay nor one for mothers and children of which there were lots empty.
I never answered her except to say I would reverse out and let her open the car door and hold the child if she wished until she put the buggy in the boot. All of which I did. I could have just reversed out and left her still in the same fix as there was another car waiting to use my bay. I got no thanks at all.

Aveline Mon 21-Mar-22 09:48:52

Goodness knows how we managed all these years ago before there were P&C parking spaces -but somehow we did!

nandad Mon 21-Mar-22 09:50:32

The supermarkets around here have lots more P&C spaces than BB ones. Both are frequently used by people who can’t park their 4x4s and just feel they are justified in using the wider spaces. The P&C ones are used a lot by people with older children, as if an 8 or 9 yo can’t walk a few extra steps.

I’m not sure in the case of the OP how CS would have sorted it out but can understand that witnessing abuse or an argument can be upsetting, so good for you that you reported it.

Beswitched Mon 21-Mar-22 09:51:22

trisher

It isn't clear from the OP if there were any disabled parking bays available. If there were he was obviously just using the P&C space because it was closer and the mum had a right to be cross.
As for the man of course he remained calm He'd got the space.

No the disabled bays were full and this was the only space left that was close to the door of the supermarket. The poor man was trying to explain this to the angry young woman.