To have been upset by this encounter today

"It’s interesting that more than one poster on here who actually needs a space for people with disabilities has said that they wouldn’t take up a parent and child spot. Good on them, that’s really thoughtful."

I'm afraid I have the opposite view. If I have the kids with me I would far prefer that a disabled person took the last p&c space, than went home without their shopping.
I can manage, they can't.

Interesting comments about how it was in our day. We didn’t have a car till our eldest was 4, and we’d 3 children by then. Like many others I’d to walk nearly 2 miles to the shops and 2 miles back, pushing a coach built pram with a toddler seat on top, and then later with two children in a double buggy, carrying DS in a baby sling. The buses were such a palaver as pushchairs had to be folded. And then I could only get the basics anyway, as they’d to fit under said pram or buggy. Times have changed, thank goodness!

Would I want my own children to have to do that? No I would not!

It kept me slim though.

Yes, I was skinny Maggie maybe, pushing proms, lifting a toddler, or am and baby onto the bus.
I’m so pleased my daughters have it easier, though not easy of course

Thank god for online grocery deliveries. I would have LOVED them when I had small children. A lot has changed in 25 years hasn't it?

When I worked in customer service, I was told when someone was abusive that we didn't know what was going on in their world.
Sorry, but I can think of many times when I wasn't well, I was caring for my father who had heart failure as well as working full time , and I still had to keep smiling!
Yes the mother may have been having problems - just maybe she was running late, hadn't slept well, etc but that doesn't give her the right to be rude to a total stranger.
The attitude of saying what you like, to who you like,when you like, seems to have got worse over the last few years and surely it is time that we all thought twice before opening our mouths ?

ElaineI

Does sound like the Mum was OTT but in my area there are way more disabled spaces than P&C spaces and in some places the normal spaces are much further to walk. I use a P&C space with DGC as it is safer and there is so much more to carry even if you don't have a buggy, also the car doors need opening to their fullest to get a toddler out a car seat so I have been annoyed if a blue badge person has parked in one and I have had to park in a smaller space however would not confront anyone. Regarding normal spaces - not everyone who has mobility problems has a blue badge and if they are far away because the nearer spaces are disabled spaces then I have had to hirple to the store getting there in pain and flustered. Regarding the post - if I had parked in the wrong space and been confronted I would have moved. The young mother might have been up most of the night with her child/baby, she might have had to deal with a tantruming toddler or she might have PND - no one knows what someone else has had to cope with in the period before. If I saw that happening - unless there was violence, I would neither intervene nor complain to customer services. chances are they sorted it themselves anyway.

as i understand it, the minimum percentage of blue badge spaces in a car park is fixed by law, but P and C spaces are a courtesy and no minimum is needed.

Awful situation to witness. Parent and child parking spaces are only provided as an "aid" for customers, there is absolutely no entitlement that only a vehicle with children can use them. The young woman needs to get real. I do get annoyed when I go to my local shops, see neighbours using these "children" parking spaces when I see the same children out playing football (where they shouldn't), 5 year olds doing gymnastics,using electric scooters, climbing trees, wheelies on bikes on the local footpaths. If a child can do that surely they can get in and out of a car with reasonable care. Another example of Entitlement afraid. Well done the man.

I would have reported it to customer services.
Nobody has the right to be so aggressive, regardless of their own circumstances.
That is just entitlement, to think it excuses shitty behaviour.

I'm presuming there were also disabled parking spaces, so maybe she thought they should have parked in one of them? They had parked in a parent and child space, instead of a disabled parking space. She would have got a telling off if she had parked in a disabled space! As someone said, parents need more space because of getting their child in and out of a child seat.

In my book there is no excuse for rudeness but all too often we meet it and aggressiveness in modern life. Perhaps people are very stressed but we do seem to have a lot of me attitudes. The ‘how dare you ask my Johnny not to sit on the high wall round your football ground. We will do what we like”. You speak up waiting for abuse to come. Occasionally it doesn’t. It’s so refreshing when someone says ‘sorry’ and stops doing whatever it was.

Peaseblossom

I'm presuming there were also disabled parking spaces, so maybe she thought they should have parked in one of them? They had parked in a parent and child space, instead of a disabled parking space. She would have got a telling off if she had parked in a disabled space! As someone said, parents need more space because of getting their child in and out of a child seat.

The disabled spaces were full so he had to use a p&c space. He did try to explain but she wasn't listening.

My daughter always found being disabled needed far more room than having a child in a buggy.
There is the problem of getting in and out of the car; all sorts of things.

My daughter has similar problems on occasion. She is a blue badge holder but does not look disabled. She is 32, pretty, well groomed and looks healthy (good make up!). However she has severe lung disease and chronic asthma and can’t walk far without becoming wheezy (especially when it’s cold) so it is helpful for her to park near the entrance of large stores and she does like to get out when she can. People have been most rude and even aggressive to her. I’m sorry to say some were elderly people who think she is somehow usurping their rights. She had similar problems in some circumstances when not ‘masking up’ (impossible for her as she could not breathe wearing one ) although she did not go out much when Covid was rife and has a job where she usually works from home anyway. Once in her doctors surgery she was told by a very uppity receptionist to mask up and move her car from the disabled area after a complaint! It took an asthma attack in the surgery (getting upset can bring one on too) and her doctors intervention to put it right. I would urge everyone to be as kind and considerate (and polite!) to others as they can and to not judge by appearances which can be misleading.

The rules now are so much more nuanced.
There are people who have no mobility problems but other reasons to need disabled spaces.
People who look fine, but are living with health problems.
The best thing to do is have a little patience with others issues, not fly off the handle without listening.

This must have been so upsetting for the elderly couple. I was with a friend who is disabled with a blue badge and we had just pulled into a disabled parking place. Suddenly a shouting man appeared and said he would report me to the police, said that I was on camera, and that I could have killed someone. I remained polite and I was so shocked and upset. My crime? I had driven the car the wrong way to the spot. Nobody has the right to shout at someone in this manner, regardless of how bad a day they are having. No excuses!

Where I live a blue badge holder parks within a few feet of a junction, many people have told him it is dangerous and illegal to park there but he persists insisting he can park anywhere as he has the badge. He is the sort that would park in a parent and child place just because he can.

Aveline

Goodness knows how we managed all these years ago before there were P&C parking spaces -but somehow we did!

Yes, we did - but just because we did, does that mean we shouldn't try to make life a bit easier for today's parents? A wee bit of tolerance, compassion and understanding would go a long way in situations like this - from everyone's point of view.

From experience at both ends of the spectrum, with a mother in a wheelchair, and a grandchild in a buggy, I don't think there's much comparison. The wheelchair user has much more to negotiate, the wheelchair has to be lifted out of the car, so too might it occupant, much more space is needed, and much more energy as well. Taking two grandchildren to the supermarket is a doddle compared to taking a wheelchair user.

Aveline we did not have car seats or large cars. You need the wider space to be able to get the child out of the car seat. I would not want to go back to the days of cars that did not even have rear seatbelts.

"My" supermarket wouldn't care and basically tell parents to park in the blue badge spaces or vice versa.
They dint even care when customers with vans - and appetites non badge holding contractors to tje store, park hirizontally across 3 Blue badge spaces because they are to long to go in the correct way.

I have disabilities (though i don't drive) and my son who drives has a blue badge of his own, (disabled also) but no he never parks in a parent& child space he says he's 'not allowed to' (he's a stickler for the rules?)If there's no disabled spaces left he too lets me out then parks elsewhere, even though he has further to walk himself. ?

I don't think that you are being unreasonable .

It's more than possible that things were not going well in this young mum's life - ( a staggering one in four women endure domestic abuse at some stage ) but there's no need to be unpleasant towards an elderly gentleman .
Parking causes such enormous rows and bad feelings .

I've had all sorts of insults when I can't get out of my drive or someone delivering things can't park .

One guy told me ,Who cares ?
I can do what I like. Your house looks like s--t anyway !

A consultant (who works in A and E ) used to live next door to me and he's been unable to answer a call on many occasions due to a young mum insisting on parking in front of his house .
She told him to f--k off .

And I've experienced aggression on the buses .

I've said something when I see someone elderly being pushed and shoved .

On one occasion ; a girl punched a man full in the face breaking his glasses .
The busdriver locked the doors and she was arrested .
We applauded .

I don't look old and disabled until I stand up -I've been glared at and challenged for my seat .

Blondiescot the young woman referred to by the OP was completely out of order. There is no need to pander to young mothers the way that seems to be the norm these days.
I well remember the palaver of folding up the pushchair while balancing child and bags to get on a bus. It never crossed my mind to complain. It was just the way it was. Nowadays on buses pushchairs can just be pushed on and have priority seating. There has been trouble when a mother with a pushchair refused to give way to a person in a wheelchair.
Do parents of young children have priority over disabled older people? Not in my book.

Discourteous behaviour is always unsettling and unpleasant to witness, so I don't think you were unreasonable at all in feeling upset by it.

The point that counts in my estimation is that you tried to help instead of just shrugging your shoulders and saying that it was no business of yours.

I had my badge wrenched from my arthritic maulers.....but it doesn't mean I'm cured,or that I can squirm into my car with less than 2+feet spacing! An enormous mum accosted me the other day ,yelling "do you know you're in child space?" Or something like, incidentally it was early Tuesday and lots of spaces. I said "yes, I'm old not blind" she screamed"I've got a child!" I replied "well done you ,I've got four!" As I walked away she shrieked after me, I turned walked slowly back and said,"they took my blue badge but I'm not cured, not that it's your business, I need a little more space to get in and out" she looked blankly at me, (no wit) I went shopping. Even when I had my badge some nosey holes would make snidey comments but I NEVER let them get away with it!not on my watch as all the rubbish movies say! incidentally if spaces were needed I'd try and park on an end.