To have been upset by this encounter today

What's with all the excuses for a total stranger being thoroughly obnoxious??? Honestly why's everyone an apologist nowadays, she's old enough to have kids ,she's old enough to keep a ruddy lid on it!

I have a blue badge but I can walk for miles - I don’t need a space close to the shops, I just need a wide bay so that I can open my door fully as my 2 replacement knees just don’t bend enough for me to get back into the car if someone parks too close to me. I’d be happy if the supermarkets provided wide bays at the far end of the car park. If I try parking a distance from the shop it’s s**’s law someone will still park next to me and I have to wait until they return before I can get into my car.

overthemoongran- oh yes I remember those days. My new knees are great now but the timed when I couldn't get the door open wide enough to get out are fresh in my memory. However, I didn't park in blue badge spaces or parent and child ones. I just had to manage.

Esmay

I don't think that you are being unreasonable .

It's more than possible that things were not going well in this young mum's life - ( a staggering one in four women endure domestic abuse at some stage ) but there's no need to be unpleasant towards an elderly gentleman .
Parking causes such enormous rows and bad feelings .

I've had all sorts of insults when I can't get out of my drive or someone delivering things can't park .

One guy told me ,Who cares ?
I can do what I like. Your house looks like s--t anyway !

A consultant (who works in A and E ) used to live next door to me and he's been unable to answer a call on many occasions due to a young mum insisting on parking in front of his house .
She told him to f--k off .

And I've experienced aggression on the buses .

I've said something when I see someone elderly being pushed and shoved .

On one occasion ; a girl punched a man full in the face breaking his glasses .
The busdriver locked the doors and she was arrested .
We applauded .

I don't look old and disabled until I stand up -I've been glared at and challenged for my seat .

Some people really are unbelievably rude and unpleasant aren't they?
And of course if they're challenged they just become aggressive and even ruder.
Maybe they have their issues, or maybe they're just self entitled people with no idea of how to deal with situations politely and maturely. But it's awful to see adults behaving like this.

A lot of patents don't realise that in some places they have a policy from the store that it is perfectly acceptable for a disabled person to use P&C parking if there is no disabled left or they are unsuitable. As a disabled mother in a wheelchair I was targeted a number of times when my child was younger. Parents would see the wheelchair and tell me I had no right to park there and should use the disabled spots. Truth is in some places the disabled spots aren't positioned ideally unlike P&C spots which seem to be right next to the store. They'd often mean crossing a zebra crossing sometimes and with my eyesight also affected this wasn't ideal so sometimes P&C spots were the only option. I recall having an argument with a mother both of us with young babies and she seemed determined that because I had a blue badge I should still use the disabled parking and leave the P&C spots for those who don't have them even though I had a child. My mum had 7 children close together and she often says that some parents have it easy now she used to have 2 of us in a double pram, two children riding on a buggy board, two toddlers holding the pram from each side and the 5 year old wandering alongside. She would go for mile's on buses like this, I remember once asking her why she didn't park in parent & child spots when she had my nephew with her once when she was as babysistting and she told me "because I can carry a baby across a car park, or I can put him in the trolley, someone with a disability may need it." I can't even recall her using a disabled spot when I was a child despite my disability just because I could use a pram or a quad bike at that age, it was only when my condition deterioted that she accepted using one. I have vivid memory a of walking alongside her on crutches and still showing respect to people with disabilities and not taking up their seats on the bus.

I would've been as angry as the young woman tbh. Parent & child means just that. How awful for her

My heart breaks for her.

I parked with my elderly mother in a P&C bay because no spaces in D bay, she is a wheelchair user. That’s what we WERE P&C!

Then there are disabled mothers with babies, too.

Missiseff

I would've been as angry as the young woman tbh. Parent & child means just that. How awful for her

I think blue badge holders trump parents with children and are allowed to park in any spaces

At what age does a P&C space become unnecessary? I’ve just seen a Mum and her son (who looked old enough to shave) use such a space! I’ve parked in a P&C space with my 4yr old DGS - so what are the boundaries?
I’ve mentioned before that DD1 who is a full time wheelchair user needs the wider bay to get her chair alongside to transfer, but technically doesn’t need to be right next to the store entrance. She’s long supported a sort of 2 tier blue badge, so wheelchair users would get the wider bays, but those able to walk, but short distances would get the spaces nearer the shop.

I'd rather have a baby than the problems my girl had with her mobility.
It's an insult to compare the two, as far as I'm concerned.

Can't help sensing a strain of righteousness from some women who appear to consider that being a mother makes them more important and entitled. Not all, by any means.

Yes, it's good that car parks often now have parent and child spaces, but I suspect many of us didn't even have a car at our disposal when our children were young. And we managed.
There's quite a lot of truth in the old saying - the more you get the more you want.

When my children were small there were no P&C spaces. Somehow everyone managed. What on earth will that young woman do when faced with a real problem? She may well have been having a terrible time - everyone with small children has those days - we're all faced with inconvenience. But aggressive behaviour like that solves nothing - just passes on the bad feelings even to those obliged to witness. Kudos to the older person for staying calm and shame on a young woman who has a great deal of growing up to do.

Absolutely the man with the blue badge was right to park in a p&c space. There were none when my children were small and I coped!

This happened to me a few years ago, from two sets of abusive parents. I called the security guard who verified I had been given permission to park there because no other spaces were available, and ordered them to stop.
I would never use a disabled parking space, but these parents are young, able bodied and healthy.
Also ignorant.

It can be difficult to get a blue badge disabled parking space at times. I see it more and more at supermarkets these days where vans or 4x4s are parked in the disabled bays. Only last week I was looking at a youngish type man sitting in his car with a large food tray and his fork happily enjoying what I suppose was his lunch . There he sat without a blue disabled badge displayed and he obviously did not give a bugger I suppose he thought he had all the right in the world to park there. I have seen a few incidents about people being attacked or assaulted outside supermarkets recently it is no good telling people to move as you don't know how they will react.

Aveline

Blondiescot the young woman referred to by the OP was completely out of order. There is no need to pander to young mothers the way that seems to be the norm these days.
I well remember the palaver of folding up the pushchair while balancing child and bags to get on a bus. It never crossed my mind to complain. It was just the way it was. Nowadays on buses pushchairs can just be pushed on and have priority seating. There has been trouble when a mother with a pushchair refused to give way to a person in a wheelchair.
Do parents of young children have priority over disabled older people? Not in my book.

I've already said that there's no excuse for that kind of behaviour, and I'm not suggesting in any way that parents should be given priority over disabled people (of any age). Yes, we've all had to struggle when our children were young - but does that mean today's parents should also have to struggle? Shouldn't we want to make things easier for everyone - as far as can reasonably be done? As I said quite clearly, a bit of tolerance, compassion and understanding would go a long way on all sides.

Parents of young children are far more able to 'struggle' than disabled people of any age.

Aveline

Parents of young children are far more able to 'struggle' than disabled people of any age.

I didn't suggest otherwise. I'm just saying that surely if we can make life easier for any group, then that's got to be a good thing. It seems on here that just because some people had to struggle when their children were young, they think today's parents ought to have it equally hard.

My main concern is when one person's rights begin to infringe on another's. If a disabled person needs a space close to the door but finds themselves expected to give way to a young mother then that is very wrong.
Also if the entire row of spaces by the door are designated for parents and children it means elderly people who don't qualify for a blue badge have to park further away and walk even if they're frail.
I think p&c spaces need to be treated with a bit of common sense and compassion, and most people do that.
But unfortunately there are always extremely self entitled people who take things too far.

Some people have consideration for others, some know that they come before all...

Hetty58

Beswitched, yes, that's exactly how I understand it. Still, there's always the 'Me, me, me!' brigade with no manners and no respect. I would have waded straight in with my opinion, though, before informing the staff.

The arrogance and sense of entitlement of, predominently, mothers astounds me, as does their willingness to shrill harridans. I was loading the car, in a p and c space of a fairly empty car park, when one such started to screech at me, Was I blind or just stupid? Couldn't I read? Etc Etc, I carried on and ignored her, the more I ignored her the shriller and more hysterical she got, she actually kicked the tyre and as she was in sandals it had a rather amusing result. As my daughter and baby granddaughter joined me, having been for a nappy change, she eventually shut up and limped away.

* also the car doors need opening to their fullest to get a toddler out a car seat so I have been annoyed if a blue badge person has parked in one and I have had to park in a smaller space however would not confront anyone*

This is probably why some blue badge holders will park in a P&C space if there are no blue badge spaces left - myself included. It’s very difficult to manoeuvre a wheelchair out of the car and get into it in a narrow space - and the same problem with needing space to open the doors fully.

I agree with 25Avalon. I don't expect to use a P&C when I can't find a disabled parking space. I either wait for a space to become available or park as close to the store as I can. In my experience, disabled spaces are poorly thought out. By the time I walk over to where the trolleys are, I have usually had to walk further than if I had parked in an ordinary space!