Phone calls on Mother's Day

I did forget to wish my DiL a happy Mother's Day. In all fairness I was so busy making a fuss of my Mother and MiL AND my DiL doesn't even read my messages usually, so it would probably have been a complete waste of time.

My son said he didn't get the kids to do anything for her. I was disappointed in him for that, as well.

So yesterday evening I phoned both of them. Both of them were busy so I said phone me back when you're free. Neither of them called back.

Oh no Nanny2859 so sorry. I hope they phone today.

I thought maybe I'd get a belated gift today... but nothing so far. I'd rather have presence, but a present would be something...and it would show that they thought of me for five minutes, while on Amazon.

Both my sons were working on Mothering Sunday and were upset they couldn’t take me out for lunch. It didn’t bother me not going to a crowded restaurant and seeing them over paying for a ‘special’ lunch. We’ll go out when their work schedules allow. I got lovely cards from them and grandchildren, a joint gift I’d suggested and phone calls from both. I feel very blessed

One son dropped off some flowers & a card a couple of days before, not a word from another son and the one who still lives at home came up with the usual "sorry I forgot" The same excuse he uses every mother/father/birthday Never seem to have any trouble getting in touch when they need anything though, maybe it's time to start treating them with the same lack of respect as they obviously have for me

I saw one son for a meal yesterday and ended up paying for my own, whilst the other didn't even bother texting.
It was my birthday in the week too and it was the same scenario for that.
Beginning to wonder why I bother with either.

Bother with either my birthday or mother's day, not the sons, before anyone jumps on me.

As my DS & DDiL are moving house next week & DS has to work a lot of Sundays I did not expect to see them yesterday. Thought maybe a card but nothing. Then just after midday doorbell rang. There was my DGS, DGD, DS & DDiL on the doorstep! They had been for breakfast out as treat for DDiL from the children. Then went to her DM then came to me for a quick visit with cards, chocs & Pressie. All totally unexpected but a totally wonderful surprise! So love them all!

I have OK relationships with both DDs who live locally. I messaged them a couple of weeks ago to ask if they would like to come to us on Mothering Sunday for a meal...breakfast, lunch or tea..theDGC all have busy weekends. We decided on a 3p.m. lunch which I prepared. It was a pleasure to do it and fun to be together..the DGC all get on for a few hours. I provided a cooking free day for DDs & they brought a small gift for me. I know I am fortunate & do not take anything for granted.

Mothering Sunday may be viewed as to who is doing mothering work at present time. I couldn't give it a thought one way or other. Surely nothing upsetting.

Isn't there a saying about an ungrateful child being sharper than a serpents tooth?

I actually don't think you should mention it to them because if they phone next Mother’s Day or birthday you won't know if they are only calling because you said you would like them to. Just call them instead, presumably you want to speak to them, so call. No feeling sorry for yourself, just call. If you haven't spoken since Mother’s Day call them now.

PS Mothering Sunday is one of the oldest dates in the first calendars. It wasn't invented by Hallmark of anyone else!

My daughter always goes the extra mile and includes me in her Mothers Day although she is a Mum too. She also reminds my son who lives miles away - as she knows his wife won't prompt him!
I am grateful for all she does -- but just a card from both of them would be lovely - I don't want them spending money on me - - they have enough costs bringing up their families.!

I have 3 daughters, eldest sent flowers and chocs, youngest gave me a lovely framed print from the grandchildren but middle daughter only texted me both on my birthday last week and Mothering Sunday no call, card, visit or any present. I confess I was hurt but I haven't said anything and nor will I. People have commented that its not worth getting upset but I cant really help it. We haven't fallen out so there is no obvious reason and it wasn't helped by the less than tactful younger daughter asking me if I was upset as its no trouble to order Amazon these days?

It helps me to read how mothers of adult children can sometimes feel hurt. I sympathize.
We live near our daughter who does a lot with us. I know our sons love us, but they are not as demonstrative. One spends more time with dil's family and that has been hard for me at times.

I’m afraid I’d have let my sarcastic side out - I would have texted back saying, “How nice of you to take the time to send me a text on Mothering Sunday. You’ve made me so happy and appreciated!”
Of course I’d immediately regret sending it as soon as it’s gone . Still a fiery red head despite my mature years .

Cindylou

That's called passive aggressiveness and has nothing to do with the hair of the colour either

We are all married with grown up children of our own and we all received cards from our children.

My older sister sent my mum a card.

I gave her one last week when we went to visit, and I ring. daily.

My younger sister sees her every Sunday.

My brother ( 57 ) , youngest by 6 years and only boy, never sent a card but just a quick " Happy Mothers' Day" text.

Already Mum is excusing him and saying that Mothers' Day was not advertised properly or that he may be ill !!

He never does anything wrong in her eyes, and never has!

It gets more complicated as families expand. Our older son has three children and always makes a lot of effort to give his wife a nice day at their home on Mothering Sunday which makes me very proud of him. He always comes to see me the day before with his wife and children, his wife was working this year but she had made me a beautiful flower arrangement and sent me a message yesterday, our grandchildren also brought cards and gifts. Our younger son has been married for 30 years in June and is very close to his wife’s family, we used to all go out for a meal on Mothering Sunday but due to Covid and my DIL’s parents’ failing health they did something quietly at home yesterday but our son and DIL visited us on Saturday bringing some lovely gifts for me. The thoughtful men my sons have become means more to me than anything else.

DS rang at tea time tonight to wish me a happy Mother’s Day for yesterday, he was busy all day apparently.

Of course, DH answered the phone so I still didn’t get to speak to him myself. Normally DH never gets to the phone in time before it stops ringing. Felt a bit annoyed with DH as I shouted “I’ll get it!”

Mom3

It helps me to read how mothers of adult children can sometimes feel hurt. I sympathize.
We live near our daughter who does a lot with us. I know our sons love us, but they are not as demonstrative. One spends more time with dil's family and that has been hard for me at times.

I understand how you feel Mom3 but it is only natural for sons to become close to their wives’ families. Our younger son is the same and in the early years of their marriage I sometimes felt resentful of the time he spent with his in-laws but thirty years on I am now happy that he is part of a loving family who care for him very much which is important as he and his wife don’t have children. In fact now we are often included in their family occasions.

I told both mine not to bother with this inflated commercial enterprise. However one gave me a rose and the other sent flowers. Really kind but i just don’t like the commercialism or the probable guilt of adult children, or disappointment of mothers, if things don’t go according to expectations.

Cindylou

I’m afraid I’d have let my sarcastic side out - I would have texted back saying, “How nice of you to take the time to send me a text on Mothering Sunday. You’ve made me so happy and appreciated!”
Of course I’d immediately regret sending it as soon as it’s gone . Still a fiery red head despite my mature years .

When I receive messages like that I just take them as written.
I have a family member who is very PA. So I’ve learned not to rise to it.

A quick “you’re welcome” and I’d be ok with my day

Nanny2859

AIBU hoping my son and daughter might have phoned me on Mother's Day? And even better got the grandchildren to talk to me too? It's really got to me that neither of them have phoned, just a happy mother's day text.

Are they in the UK, Nanny2859

Mothering Sunday is not universal, it's Mothers' Day on a different date elsewhere.

Bijou I am so pleased for you