Ignorant or acceptable?

kittylester

Please tell what SN stands for.

Yes, Ketty, I'd like to know too. I hate this over-use of acronyms.

Diamond Lily thank you for that link. Sago - I agree with having a quiet word, but can't for the life of me understand why I should take them a small but thoughtful gift?!

Giulia - I explained SN earlier in the thread?! Sex Noise. I'd just abbreviated an earlier phrase to save repeating it!

I really would not be looking to escalate. Talking to them is probably the best way forward. Failing that keep a diary, record what you can and note how its affecting you. If its only one day a week getting them to understand that you can hear everything is probably the best way to manage the situation. That and headphones.

I have never found any earplugs that drown out noise effectively. I have some of those corkscrew ones that were recommended to me but they don’t work for me. Maybe I don’t use them correctly. I’d love some that work as there’s not much worse than noisy neighbours causing misery. I don’t think enough is done to help people suffering from others’ lack of consideration.

JackK Commiserations. I lived next to a couple who had a loud piano placed on our joint wall. They would think nothing of starting to sing near midnight, and carrying on until after 2am. With their guests singing too.

My neighbour on the other side was a woman who had to leave for work at 5.15am. Several times she flew out of her house in a feisty fit, and hammer on their door shouting.

I found the wax earplugs very good. They are quite large so I split in half for each ear. There are also silicone ones that I have seen in Superdrug. I had surgery on my ear so had to wear them when near any water over a few years but also good for sound. I can sympathise tho as it is not just about the noise but must also be some element of vibration as well.

Dee1012

Personally, I think you've shown restraint...as you said, if it's every week I'm afraid I wouldn't be apologising.

Oddly enough I was chatting with someone who lives locally to me and is suffering hugely with antisocial behaviour from neighbours, on reporting the noise again (as instructed by police), she's had a call from the council who told her as the complaints generally about these people now number in excess of 10, no more letters will be sent to them as, they could accuse the council of harassment .

Is this the world we have created??!!

Unfortunately I think it is. So many people are more focused on their rights and entitlements than on showing consideration for other people and this is the result. Groups and organisations pandering to them and victims being pushed into second place.

Visgirl - I think that's brilliant about the early morning doorbell call, from the neighbour who's on their way to work. A great way to make a point.

The best and most comfortable earplugs for sleeping through noise for me have been Just 4 Dreams foam ones (on Amazon.) I find wax ones etc too hard and can't sleep in them. Other foam ones never blocked noise well enough but these do, if you squeeze them up and push them deep into your ear while pulling out your ear flap and hold them in place while they expand. They work for me (husband snoring) and are comfy even to sleep on your side. Just a suggestion if the others don't work!

Is your bed against the party wall? Would it help to move it, if so? Perhaps this seems like giving in but do you have a spare bedroom on the other side of the house that you could sleep in on Saturday nights? If you can afford it, there are noise insulating linings for walls. Ear plugs are cheaper but do you need to be able to hear an alarm clock or smoke alarm?

I had exactly the same with old neighbours of mine. Every weekend, shouting not talking, sex noises, bringing others back, etc. I started work Sat and Sundays at 6am and it drove me bonkers. Through the week he played his PlayStation til all hours, explosions and gunfire coming through the walls. This man is 65 years old and so is his wife and had no respect whatsoever. I tried speaking to them and he told me to knock the wall if they were rowdy which I did, only for the wall to get hammered back and I was told to #!*? off. My nerves were on end so I decided to pack up and leave, I was lucky I could. I'm now in a detached bungalow and its so quiet, but it's awful I'd to sell up my family home where I grew up with my parents to get a bit of peace from those hateful people.

I have a similar situation with weekenders who make a great show of arriving, leaving, having family over to stay etc. It is all about them to the exclusion of all others. Their weekend so they are hell bent on enjoying it no matter if it upsets the peace and quiet of others. Even when they talk to other neighbours it is about them.

Just discussing this thread with my hubby who has made this tongue-in-cheek suggestion for a 'small thoughtful gift' . How about taking them round a pair of those gags used in sex games?! And no, before anyone asks, we don't use or need anything like that as we live in a detached house! ?

years ago I had neighbours in a flat that made enough noise the people in the next none joining block could hear them. They use to make noise from 1am to about 6am, I was up with my young kids about 6.30.
After asking them nicely and getting nothing but abuse I paid them back by turning my stereo up full bung about 8am, lying the speakers on my floor ( their ceiling) and going out for 2 or 3 hrs.
They got the hint.

Dee1012

Oddly enough I was chatting with someone who lives locally to me and is suffering hugely with antisocial behaviour from neighbours, on reporting the noise again (as instructed by police), she's had a call from the council who told her as the complaints generally about these people now number in excess of 10, no more letters will be sent to them as, they could accuse the council of harassment.

Is this the world we have created??!!

So instead of the number of complaints indicating that there is a real problem, it means instead that the noise-louts are being harassed.

I hope this way of thinking doesn't spread - if, for example, a repeat sex-offender has accusations made against him by a number of victims, he might be able to turn the tables and accuse them of harassing him...

Utterly ridiculous and shameful that the council are thinking of saving their own skin - talk about 'jobsworths'...

I've never been a fan of the 'PC gone made' rhetoric, but am beginning to see why it has evolved.

And if said council ends up being responsible for further escalation of the trouble - by refusing to do anything about it - I'm sure there'll be talk of "missed opportunities"... which is politically correct language used to cover up sheer incompetence.

As you have already sent a text it may be difficult to have a direct conversation to voice your complaint.
When we moved here next door were noisy. They knew it and previous neighbours had complained. I did say Gosh didnt realise the walls were so thin. Hope WE are not too noisy. Shall we just agree that if either of us have any issues we chat them through. This is exactly what has happened over the years. We have survived children screaming in the garden, teenage partytimes and loud music, Tv blaring and loud arguments( both sides of the wall..its life) Fortunatly no fall outs. We do make a point of letting each other know if we are having a party and often invite each other but both tone it down around midnight. We know we are lucky.

I'm guessing you won't get any joy from any of your communications with this neighbours.

You have clearly identified and described their Unreasonable Behaviour, and I agree it is Unreasonable Behaviour, yet you hold out hope that you can get them to Behave Reasonably?

Do you really hold out hope that communicating with them will result in a change of their behaviour?

In fact you may only be creating a world of grief for yourself by even trying to communicate with them. As you live alone I'd be looking at other ways to manage the problem.

Do you have another room you can sleep in if the noise gets too much? I have a friend who has to do this regularly due to her neighbours.

As others have said look into different types of ear plugs.

There behaviour tells you lots about how they view others and it's not in a considerate way. Sadly to them you don't count.

This comes down to your peace and right to sleep verses their idea of a fun time. You are never going to be important enough for them to wind back their "fun".

Reality is often the while you, your wellbeing, sleep, peace matter to you - you don't matter to your neighbours. So nothing you can say and very little you can do will matter enough to make them consider you and your needs. Sad but too often true.

As for embarrassing them, unlikely to work and I'd have a good hard think about revenge noise. If you want to make this situation into a full on battle go ahead but these things don't often have a good outcome.

Sadly, best to think creatively of the best ways you can look after you, your sleep and your peace because I suspect getting these people to Change their Behaviour for You isn't going to happen.

Good Luck and may you have some peaceful nights and restful sleeps.

This is one reason I am reluctant to downsize and risk leaving the peace and quiet I enjoy for the possibility of having neighbours from hell!!

Try sleeping downstairs?

My mother had this problem with former neighbours she called the police as it sounded like someone getting murdered No more SN etc from next door ensued

I’m living with a neighbor from hell and looking to move so he can be someone else problem. Where I live there moved in a kid looks about 18-19 we all in our 40-55. He plays rap music full blast 10 hrs plus 24/7 aday singing along with it and he sings out of key at first it was funny but it’s not after first few times. Consent slamming doors 24/7 with his friends. This as being going on since nov when he moved in. I’ve contact landlord and I was sent some paperwork to fill in and download a noise app he was sent a letter he was quite a few weeks then started again. Other neighbors have complained and I have again and again it was fill out some paperwork. I understand what you are suffering the not allowed to sleep for noise. I’ve tried loads of earplugs. My advice would be contact your landlord but as mine said it won’t help but everyone as to learn to live together. I’ve lived here 9yrs

kittylester

Please tell what SN stands for.

Sexual Noises - took me a moment to get it!

Who is the mutual friend who gave you the phone number? Could he/she be of any help to you?

Try putting in some soundproofing on your joint walls!!