Ignorant or acceptable?

For years my father's neighbours were really deafening .

They had constant daily rows .And when husband and wife weren't fighting -there were huge rows with their children .

The wife also used to mouth off in the street to anyone who'd listen .

Neighbours were asking how he could tolerate it .
They called her the fish wife and wanted her to move .

And yet - he did tolerate it -
unusually for him ,because he is actually an intolerant person .

I wondered about either moving or getting sound proofing .

After about 15 years of being able to hear every word and swear word through the thin adjoining wall -the rows stopped .

And so did the loud sessions on the pavement outside .

We had this problem some years ago, at a previous property. A polite request was agreed with and then completely ignored and the late night noise continued. So we used to get up early the morning after the noise and strim the grass, put rubbish, cans bottles etc. in the empty metal dustbin. I’m sure you get the drift. We then had reasonably peaceful nights, with just the occasional blip.

My friend is currently having the same problem with one oh her neighbours, but it’s more frequent must be awful to live like this, she’s in a flat though! Nothing worse! Hope you can sort it out soon! Times like this I’m so glad we live in a detached home! I’m not going to say play them at there own game though as two wrongs don’t make a right!

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Jackk
Absolutely awful. If you get no reply to your polite message then next time it happens I would put on some very loud music against the wall adjoining their’s. I would be very selective in music choice and would suggest a soprano Operatic aria.
Then I’d leave my bedroom and sleep on the couch.

I would contact the environment dept at the council and if you have not got a good recorder they may be able to lend you a machine so that you can record the decibels of the noise over time. This will give you actual evidence that it is not a one off, that it is constantly above a reasonable level and that they make no effort to reduce the sound. Then with the evidence you can proceed via the council people or solicitor , but that clear evidence will be your best bet whatever you decide to do . If nothing seems to work very well |I would be quite keen to have the radio on on sunday morning probably playing church bells too.

They might be home owners, but they still have to stick to the noise by-laws.
As others have said, you need to keep a diary of dates and times etc and it might help if you can speak to other neighbours that may be able to hear more than you think they can!
Certainly speak to Environmental Health at your local council and take their advice.
Invest in ear plugs, I would suggest that you played loud music when they get home, but then you could be in trouble if they complain!

Why is it that inconsiderate, arrogant, selfish and loutish individuals are gaining the upper hand? It's not just the 'neighbours from hell' - it's everywhere. Look at the behaviour of some during Lockdown when illegal raves and parties were held in various locations, and the locals were left to clear up the mounds of rubbish left behind. Hooligans using people's gardens (or doorways) as toilets on their way home from a night out - especially after a rugby / football game. Anti-vaxxers attacking NHS staff and trying to prevent them from doing their job. Yobs harassing MPs (of both parties), not to mention all the on-line abuse and death threats being issued to various high-profile figures - both women and men.

Sometimes it seems like we're at the mercy of mob-rule and that there's precious little done to combat it. Using the legal and recommended paths to deal with such problem gets nowhere.

Is it just me, or are we really becoming a nation that simply tolerates too much boorish, ill-mannered and crass behaviour? And, why is it happening?

AGAA4

I think with some people responding in kind is the only way. If you have been reasonable and they are just ignoring you wait for the sex noises and put some loud silly music on. Maybe the birdie song.

I agree with this. I'd find something nice and loud and quite annoying. My current choice is "He's going to marry YumYum" from Gilbert and Sullivan's The Mikado. (That's what I play to cold callers on the phone, saying, "Just playing some music while I transfer you......" as they explain about free energy consultations or whatever)

But, in your circumstances, maybe Billy Idol's "Rebel Yell" would be more suitable.... "In the midnight hour, she cried more, more, more. With a rebel yell she cried more, more, more...."

Sex noise

Maybe the gift could be a hand penned poem titled how to have quieter sex

I'll let you begin

Personally I don't think for one moment Sago that buying a gift would work for people like this, I really don't. They sound awful neighbours and not an ounce of respect for anyone.

A few years ago my sister and partner went camping in Wales and the noise and screaming from the tent a few yards away was dreadful. Shouting and swearing, man dragging woman into the car and ranting at her. This went on for two nights and the tent across had enough. At 6.00am the next morning he was out with some pans and tent pegs and banged and banged outside of his tent announcing first in a loud voice he was very sorry for the noise he was going to make to the rest of the site but he had enough. He banged and banged away for ages and the whole campsite came out and clapped him and hey presto the noisy campers left the next day!

You could work it out from the post

Thank you for your great responses!
I'm not going to lower myself to their level by retaliating in any way, but am keeping a diary of time, duration, specific noise and it's impact. I'm loathe to make any formal complaint in case I do eventually decide to sell up - as I know I would have to declare this. The mutual friend is my son - who won't get involved sadly.
I looked up the Noise Abatement link which was a helpful read, I'll try new earplugs and give myself a deadline of a month to take some sort of action - although I'm not sure what action that will be?! I'm away for the next 3 Saturdays, so may text them and tell them so - but will be home (and due to work) on the last Sunday in April - and see what happens on the night before that ?

Its not it's!

I don’t think it can be true, that 10 separate letters of complaint to the council, are deemed harassment. Are the 10 letters from the same person though? I suppose that could make a difference!

Sex Noise I think!

Hell is other people…

On my way out to work early, I'd duct tape their doorbell down...

Is thnere a cut-off time for noise disturnace in your area? If so, get the police on them.

My neighbours where students partying every Saturday night until about 4 Asked them to be a bit more considerate but the never. Got my grandchildren to stand at the side of the house at 7am and scream and shout. All the windows in the house shut. They partied a bit quieter after that finishing at 1am.

Are they friends of your son?

I had 4 years of a mature DJ holding parties beginning at 3.30am on Friday and Saturday nights. Environmental Health sent him a warning letter but didn’t follow up other than put me on a waiting list for monitoring equipment but I never reached the top. I couldn’t have my granddaughter for weekend stays but he complained about people disturbing his baby son on access visits when they returned home from work at 6pm. My ex neighbour, and ?friend, used a letting agent when she moved on but gave us no details. When I found a them out they said there was nothing they could do. Fortunately I worked in housing and knew common tenancy agreements included anti social behaviour clauses. Threatening legal action, supported by witnesses, + photos and home audio eventually resulted in non renewal of the tenancy. It was a long hard slog, causing me a lot of emotional distress. I dread to think how bad it would be to seek resolution with a non responsive home owing neighbour

My neighbours are liars, criminals and thieves. They fly tipped on my lawn, stole my parcels and sent their dumb workmen onto my property without permission. However they are NOT noisy. They go to bed at 9pm and get up early. If they moved out I might be stuck with a large and noisy family (as their house is a big detached) and that would be much worse.

Annoying as they are I am thankful for small mercies. I just keep my distance and dont open the door when one of them knocks to have a whinge.

Landlords should be made to take far more responsibility for the behaviour of their tenants. It is far too easy for them to just pocket the money and leave the neighbours to cope with the noise and inconsiderate behaviour while they live comfortably elsewhere.

There should also be tighter laws around how homeowners should be allowed behave. This attitude that its my house/garden and I can do what I like in it is taken too far by some people and is selfish and ignorant.