Parents deliberately winding up children

I have noticed that many people of the GN generation tend to believe anyone in the service industry is personally employed by them. I saw a woman ask her waiter to go fetch her purse out of her car while the poor man had five tables waiting on him.

In any case, as decency element, I do think if you genuinely fear “abuse”, then sending a manager to do it isn’t any better. Why does the manager have to be “badly injured” so that you can eat in the peace and quiet you want? There’s nothing preventing the OP from leaving (as would be reasonable if there is a genuine fear of physical attacks).

I have noticed that many people of the GN generation tend to believe anyone in the service industry is personally employed by them. I saw a woman ask her waiter to go fetch her purse out of her car while the poor man had five tables waiting on him.

I am sure she is unusual and I do not believe that many people of the GN generation tend to believe anyone in the service industry is personally employed by them.

Based on the comments here, she’s not unusual for this thread. Perhaps for the wider population.

Grandpanow

I have noticed that many people of the GN generation tend to believe anyone in the service industry is personally employed by them. I saw a woman ask her waiter to go fetch her purse out of her car while the poor man had five tables waiting on him.

In any case, as decency element, I do think if you genuinely fear “abuse”, then sending a manager to do it isn’t any better. Why does the manager have to be “badly injured” so that you can eat in the peace and quiet you want? There’s nothing preventing the OP from leaving (as would be reasonable if there is a genuine fear of physical attacks).

Oh for goodness sake. It is perfectly normal to bring bad behaviour in a public place to the attention of management. They have policies, procedures, access to security staff sometimes.

tickingbird

*Aussienanna*. As related upthread “polite requests” aren’t always met with a similar response. I can only speak about the UK but people are becoming more aggressive - women too.

Mentioning it to a member of staff is appropriate as they have back up and usually have procedures in place for any incidents. Thankfully the chap was fine, didn’t realise how loud he was being and stopped. Not all men would and sometimes small incidents such as this end up with people being badly injured or worse. I don’t blame the OP for being loathe to speak to him herself.

well, can only speak from my own experience - where most people are nice if you are nice to them.

But, sure, if you are not confident speaking to him directly, ask a staff member to do so.

I personally prefer people to speak to me directly if they have a problem with me.

seems extremely unlikely anyone would get injured or worse in this sort of situation.

it was a father having fun with his toddler and not realising it had got too noisy - thats all.
Not something I would think needs an official procedure to deal with

I have never had to ask staff to speak to another customer for me while dining. So I wouldn’t consider it normal behavior at all.

No, neither have I.
And a father getting a bit loud with his toddler hardly seems a case for security staff.

or even something that comes under bad behaviour - they were just getting a bit loud, thats all - and stopped as soon as they were made aware of it.

I have had occasion to ask people to lower their volume at work - and I politely ask people in the waiting room - its getting bit loud, could you lower your volume please - and they do
Sometimes people just don't realise how loud they have become, thats all.

This is a father playing with his kid - where does the concern come from about being violent for being called out?
That's catastrophic thinking

"Cut it out" and "we cannot hear ourselves thinking" was not a very polite way to request the father to stop the activity

I agree that if I have an issue with a fellow patron, I politely point it out.
No need to involve the staff.

The concern was about getting a rude or dismissive or defensive response. My friend used to run a restaurant and they preferred problems to be raised with staff rather than customers getting into altercations, which happened several times.

Grandpanow

Based on the comments here, she’s not unusual for this thread. Perhaps for the wider population

I haven’t seen any comments on here that would lead anyone to believe certain posters think service industry staff are their personal servants.

As for getting up and leaving, that’s the last thing the restaurant would want. Strange that you would rather they lose custom over such a trivial matter - it’s people’s livelihoods.

Aussienanna The OP asked if people in restaurants etc should have more self awareness not if she or anyone else should ask them to be quiet. Maybe you, yourself, are comfortable asking people to stop doing something you don’t like but not everyone is.

Yes the man who rudely asked him to quiet down certainly wasnt worried about a rude response...

I agree asking politely would have been fine and definitely saved poor dad some embarassment and hurt

tickingbird

Grandpanow

Based on the comments here, she’s not unusual for this thread. Perhaps for the wider population

I haven’t seen any comments on here that would lead anyone to believe certain posters think service industry staff are their personal servants.

As for getting up and leaving, that’s the last thing the restaurant would want. Strange that you would rather they lose custom over such a trivial matter - it’s people’s livelihoods.

People leave restaurants all the time for a variety of reasons. I suppose you speak from experience, but I’m lucky enough to have never caused the immediate shut down of a place by picking up dinner at a different venue that evening.

The burn out rates in the service industry, have , however been linked to economic problems for diners. When polled, demanding and rude customers have been cited as a reason for leaving the majority of the time.

Be kind. Be reasonable. Don’t think too highly of yourself. This approach leads to much fewer altercations with other patrons (in my experience, absolutely none, in fact).

Restaurants should have two areas:
1. If you are ok to seat with family with kids
2. No kids

Be kind. Be reasonable. Don't think too highly of yourself. Good advice for the father to adhere to in the future.

yes he did it well, didn’t he? Some rude person yelling across the restaurant, but he simply quieted down and didn’t stoop to their level.

Exactly Grandpanow

The OP says the diner "called over", no mention of yelling across the restaurant.

Grandpanow

yes he did it well, didn’t he? Some rude person yelling across the restaurant, but he simply quieted down and didn’t stoop to their level.

Decent man and father

This is quite hilarious.

I’m now accused of causing a restaurant to close down

Grandpanow. Please practice what you preach. No need to be kind where I’m concerned but please don’t invent scenarios regarding me and restaurants.

Where’s the OP? Have you lost the will to live yet? ??

Smileless2012

The OP says the diner "called over", no mention of yelling across the restaurant.

Child having fun with father...a big no because of the noise level. Another customer calling over the restaurant because he was irritated acceptable. There is a certain irony.

Perhaps so, but part of interaction is teaching social skills to children from a young age. I don't mean that a child has to behave like an adult, but the father in that scenario was behaving like a child ( in a not positive way). I have taught young people for many years, and you can tell the difference between those whose parents have taught children how to behave in different environments, and those who think every place is their playground or living room..

Exactly Br4ve no one's suggested that children 'should be seen and not heard' but it's the responsibility of parents to teach their children social skills and I agree, that in this case it was the father who was behaving like a child.

Grandpanow

yes he did it well, didn’t he? Some rude person yelling across the restaurant, but he simply quieted down and didn’t stoop to their level.

Where did I say anyone yelled rudely across the restaurant?

tickingbird

This is quite hilarious.

I’m now accused of causing a restaurant to close down

Grandpanow. Please practice what you preach. No need to be kind where I’m concerned but please don’t invent scenarios regarding me and restaurants.

Where’s the OP? Have you lost the will to live yet? ??

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