I belong to a small group who meets for lunch occasionally. It is a type of support group for some past experiences that we have all shared where we have aired our vulnerabilities.
We normally meet on Zoom every few months and occasionally face-to-face over lunch. I went to lunch with them recently a couple of days after finding out that my son had been signed off from his job with stress. I suffer from anxiety from time to time and this news has made me extremely anxious again.
I had hoped that a jolly lunch in new surroundings would be help me to relax a bit. Instead I talked far too much just to keep out any more intrusive thoughts. As a result one of the others asked me to stop talking, although she did it tactfully so that the others would not hear. I apologised immediately to her and stayed much quieter for the remaining time.
I felt really mortified about this after the lunch as I knew I had made a fool of myself and that she was right. I had been probably rambling on incoherently at times about things the others were not that interested in.
The next day we received some lovely photos of the event but as I still felt bad, I decided to send an apology to everyone by email for my behaviour. I explained that I was anxious about my son and the reason for this.
I had expected a reply from at least one of them saying they were sorry to hear that I had been feeling anxious and that they hoped my son's situation would be resolved soon. However, all was silence. Maybe I annoyed them so much that my apology could not make up for my behaviour.
I have received an invitation to the group's next Zoom meeting because my name is in the group's email list but I feel too embarrassed to attend. I just feel like leaving the group, which makes me very sad. I like everyone in the group and had hoped my apology would be accepted but it feels like it wasn't accepted.
A friend whom I have told about this says I am over-thinking it and that the people at the lunch have probably forgotten all about it by now.
Am I being unreasonable to have expected some kind of sympathetic reaction and should I simply leave the group as it feels like they are not being very supportive after all???
Thanks for reading this.
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