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AIBU

Trans Teacher

(1001 Posts)
TheHappyGardener Sat 09-Sept-23 23:58:36

My friend’s grandchild has just gone in to Year 4 (so aged 8-9) and her teacher is a man, who identifies as a Mr, but who chooses to wear a skirt to work. I’m all for informed sexual education but at the appropriate time (ie secondary school) - Should his personal sexuality choices be given free rein at primary school age? I think young children should be allowed to be ‘children’, and not have adults flaunting their sexual choices on them. Did we, at primary school, ever have to know or worry about our teachers’ private lives? There’s a time and a place … what he does outside of his working hours is entirely up to him but surely this is not appropriate in a primary school setting?

VioletSky Sun 17-Sept-23 18:17:06

I'm not goading

Doodledog Sun 17-Sept-23 18:18:43

grin

VioletSky Sun 17-Sept-23 18:21:31

This is so ridiculous

Doodledog Sun 17-Sept-23 18:23:36

Well stop doing it then grin

VioletSky Sun 17-Sept-23 18:32:01

Do you need the last word?

Ok have it, just try not to make it too mean so I am forced to respond

Doodledog Sun 17-Sept-23 18:37:18

grin

Doodledog Sun 17-Sept-23 18:39:24

I have no objection to discussing things hypothetically - in fact sometimes it is easier to explore issues without getting bogged down in the specifics of a case, but I have found nothing about this story anywhere. Has anyone else?

Dickens Sun 17-Sept-23 18:47:14

VioletSky

Do you need the last word?

Ok have it, just try not to make it too mean so I am forced to respond

grin

👆
Do you see that - up there?

Doodledog is attempting to lessen the tension, lighten the mood...

🙃

VioletSky Sun 17-Sept-23 18:49:59

Dickens cool

doodledog I haven't found anything about this either

Very odd

Dickens Sun 17-Sept-23 18:59:20

Doodledog

I have no objection to discussing things hypothetically - in fact sometimes it is easier to explore issues without getting bogged down in the specifics of a case, but I have found nothing about this story anywhere. Has anyone else?

I googled briefly - no, nothing.

It must be very local.

I'm a bit surprised the OP hasn't been back. The 'story' is a tad lacking in detail. There's little context.

So we can only 'ponder' - in the current climate, without which the event might have little relevance other than, male-teacher-defies-convention-and-wears-a-skirt-in-the-classroom.

Actually, I'm always a bit 'miffed' (though I have no right to be) when posers start a thread- posing a question about whether or not they are 'being unreasonable' - and then never reappear.

Of course, sometimes life gets busy and social media has to take a back seat, I guess.

Doodledog Sun 17-Sept-23 19:03:20

As I say, sometimes a discussion in the abstract is useful, but I agree about the disappearing OPs. It can make you feel like it was a set up.

VioletSky Sun 17-Sept-23 19:08:47

The idea that someone would wind people up and watch them go is distasteful

Dickens Sun 17-Sept-23 19:14:13

VioletSky

Dickens cool

doodledog I haven't found anything about this either

Very odd

Very odd

I thought so too - at first - but if you re-read the OP - the poster appears to have got this information 'second-hand'... it's her "friend's grandchild", so it's not the poster's grandchild and quite likely she (the poster) has no involvement with the school.

She said the teacher who identifies as a "Mr" chooses to wear a skirt to work. One could speculate - for that day, the week - permanently?

I didn't think about this before, just took the OP at face value, but the specifics are so equivocal that really all we are left with is, as Doodledog says, hypothetical discussion.

VioletSky Sun 17-Sept-23 19:16:55

I tend to take things at face value too

Mollygo Sun 17-Sept-23 19:19:36

Doodledog

As I say, sometimes a discussion in the abstract is useful, but I agree about the disappearing OPs. It can make you feel like it was a set up.

I think it quite often is, both on here and on MN.

grin

Dickens Sun 17-Sept-23 19:19:48

Doodledog

As I say, sometimes a discussion in the abstract is useful, but I agree about the disappearing OPs. It can make you feel like it was a set up.

I think it might be genuine - but the poster has set the cat among the pigeons...

... and now wants to pretend it's not her cat. If you see what I mean. grin

Doodledog Sun 17-Sept-23 19:20:51

Well, sometimes discussions about an actual case/situation get closed down by constant 'ah but it didn't happen exactly like that' comments, which means that the principles are pushed aside. There was a thread recently about a teacher who was sacked for 'misgendering' a child and there were so many guesses about the school's ethos and the finer points of employment contracts that the real question - how far should groupthink be imposed on employees - struggled to be heard.

Unless the OP returns we'll never know more about this one, but (on the whole) it has been an interesting discussion regardless.

Namsnanny Sun 17-Sept-23 20:07:56

Galaxy

It's actually quite a complex issue with regard to equality. I know there has been some correlation on this thread between women wearing trousers etc and men wearing skirts.. But there is an elephant in the room that complicates things. I like to think that I have been very clear during these discussions that I view clothes make up etc as nothing to do with someones sex they are stereotypes enforced by society. So Adam Ant, and all the gender non conforming men from years ago were men challenging gender norms and it was great. I dont care what people wear. But it has become very clear that some men are sexually aroused by wearing womens clothes. What the hell do we do about this.

Thank you, your post is far more eloquent than mine, and yes what do we do about it?

Imv much depends on where people think this is coming from.

It takes a long time for people to catch up to the authors of this change in society.

Dickens Sun 17-Sept-23 20:16:12

Doodledog

Well, sometimes discussions about an actual case/situation get closed down by constant 'ah but it didn't happen exactly like that' comments, which means that the principles are pushed aside. There was a thread recently about a teacher who was sacked for 'misgendering' a child and there were so many guesses about the school's ethos and the finer points of employment contracts that the real question - how far should groupthink be imposed on employees - struggled to be heard.

Unless the OP returns we'll never know more about this one, but (on the whole) it has been an interesting discussion regardless.

Unfortunately, that happens a fair bit in discussions on incidents or events about which there is much speculation but little actual factual detail, but which raise important questions about principles and which are difficult to discuss in the abstract.

I don't think the OP will return. And possibly knows little more, if anything, than what she's already posted.

Glorianny Sun 17-Sept-23 20:56:08

Namsnanny

Galaxy

It's actually quite a complex issue with regard to equality. I know there has been some correlation on this thread between women wearing trousers etc and men wearing skirts.. But there is an elephant in the room that complicates things. I like to think that I have been very clear during these discussions that I view clothes make up etc as nothing to do with someones sex they are stereotypes enforced by society. So Adam Ant, and all the gender non conforming men from years ago were men challenging gender norms and it was great. I dont care what people wear. But it has become very clear that some men are sexually aroused by wearing womens clothes. What the hell do we do about this.

Thank you, your post is far more eloquent than mine, and yes what do we do about it?

Imv much depends on where people think this is coming from.

It takes a long time for people to catch up to the authors of this change in society.

If we are going to ban anything which can sexually arouse a man we will have a real problem. I remember a prostitute whose customer just wanted her to kneel on the floor naked and roll oranges at him.
And didn't Cynthia Payne make a man clean her oven?

Galaxy Sun 17-Sept-23 21:00:05

Well yes that was part of my thinking but it is obvious in some cases that that is what is happening and we are failing if we allow children to be involved in that.

Doodledog Sun 17-Sept-23 21:16:14

We can't ban everything that might sexually arouse anyone, as humans are complex creatures and there would be little left unbanned.

I think that we can, however, have general principles that don't allow teachers to behave in ways that appear to support trans ideology. They should be neutral to things like that when in school, whatever their personal feelings on the subject.

VioletSky Sun 17-Sept-23 21:39:03

I guess I am doing my part then because I never wear trousers

I will have a word with all the other teachers, tell them they are endangering our youth

What shall I do about the trans parents? Have them banned from school property?

We have a few sets of gay parents too, shall I tell them walking hnd in hand is flaunting their sexuality and they should pretend they are friends?

Absolutely not

Children give no thought to any of it at all unless they parrot what they hear at home... things like "Boys can't marry boys" and "girls can't play football" and "boys can't wear pink".

Which are the only times teachers generally step in and say, actually that's not true... because it isn't.

Callistemon21 Sun 17-Sept-23 21:47:56

😂😂😂

Namsnanny Sun 17-Sept-23 21:51:03

Glorianny

Namsnanny

Galaxy

It's actually quite a complex issue with regard to equality. I know there has been some correlation on this thread between women wearing trousers etc and men wearing skirts.. But there is an elephant in the room that complicates things. I like to think that I have been very clear during these discussions that I view clothes make up etc as nothing to do with someones sex they are stereotypes enforced by society. So Adam Ant, and all the gender non conforming men from years ago were men challenging gender norms and it was great. I dont care what people wear. But it has become very clear that some men are sexually aroused by wearing womens clothes. What the hell do we do about this.

Thank you, your post is far more eloquent than mine, and yes what do we do about it?

Imv much depends on where people think this is coming from.

It takes a long time for people to catch up to the authors of this change in society.

If we are going to ban anything which can sexually arouse a man we will have a real problem. I remember a prostitute whose customer just wanted her to kneel on the floor naked and roll oranges at him.
And didn't Cynthia Payne make a man clean her oven?

Did I say ban anything?

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