Gransnet forums


Thinking about this football winners kiss .

(104 Posts)
Floradora9 Tue 12-Sep-23 21:44:17

I remembered when I was a late teenager and worked in a bank, being in Scotland, kissing went on quite a lot around New Year . When we went back to work we would be kissed by the three male senior members of staff. I cannot remember where the other men kissed me but I do remember the sloppy kiss on the lips we got from the assistant manager. He was a married man with children .
Many years later I worked for a different bank and was more mature and sure of myself. I used to say to my boss that I did not kiss him the rest of the year so why should I do so after the New Year. We had a horrible HR young man who also tried to kiss you . When he tried I turned my face away and he kissed my cheek. He was the same young man who was Santa at the joint Christmas party and you had to sit on his knee before you got your present. I got round this by not putting my name in the hat to have someone else draw it out and buy me a gift.

Wenmore Tue 12-Sep-23 23:06:12

Scottish New Year is letch central, l always follow the male perogative and shake hands and quickly step away. Those that dare dive in for a kiss find themselves air kissing into space.

Aveline Wed 13-Sep-23 08:39:55

Oh yes. I have my hand out for a handshake as soon as anyone looks like they're moving in for a kiss. Family excepted of course.

foxie48 Wed 13-Sep-23 09:32:56

I remember complaining about a director who put his arm round me with his hand on my breast. I moved away quickly but when I told my immediate superior, she told me it was "just his way". This sort of behaviour was so common in the 70's, particularly by men with power and authority. Seems not a lot has changed.

Poppyred Wed 13-Sep-23 10:08:28

It was a daily? Occurrence back then wasn’t it…..and no one took a blind bit of notice. A lot of men I knew back in the 70s would be on the sex register now or even locked up if things had been different.

Poppyred Wed 13-Sep-23 11:21:42

I must admit though that I was shocked at all the furore about it….. He looked genuinely overwhelmed with the win and the kiss was in the heat of the moment…..

Foxygloves Wed 13-Sep-23 11:25:16

I’d be the last person to make excuses for lecherous behaviour or sexual harassment, but this amused me.

veejay Wed 13-Sep-23 11:29:46

I don't think this man should have to resign .he is Spanish it's just their way ,I had a Spanish friend and she would hug anyone with out a thought.
I think he was just so pleased for them he did it on the spur of the moment,it wasn't sexual.i think all this fuss in he circumstances is ridiculous ,all gone too far

eazybee Wed 13-Sep-23 11:46:38

He showed by his subsequent actions how unsuitable he was for the post he held, not the kiss. All he needed to do was to make a simple apology to the woman, and the situation would not have escalated.
How is his mother's hunger strike coming along?

Anniebach Wed 13-Sep-23 14:40:03

The woman thought it most amusing, three days later she changed her mind.

lyleLyle Wed 13-Sep-23 15:17:10

Really disgusted to read excuses for this individual, though I cannot say I am surprised. Just thankful that a certain mindset is quite literally dying off with those who still blame women and excuse men for despicable behavior. All I know is I am glad to never be surrounded by the kind of people who use “excitement” as an excuse to violate another human being in the most avoidable manner possible. Thankful that the creeps of earlier times are not tolerated by the civilised people of today.

Bella23 Wed 13-Sep-23 15:28:31


The woman thought it most amusing, three days later she changed her mind.

She actually put her hands on his arms and smiled while he did it, she did not turn or push him away.
His crotch clutching probably added to the impression of him as a sexual predator.
Why did she change her mind? Was pressure put on her, did she rethink the episode? We will never know.

foxie48 Wed 13-Sep-23 15:30:11

This is the man that is captured on video grabbing his crotch! It is his behaviour that is being questioned, not that of Jenni Hermoso. She shouldn't have to defend or attack his behaviour because it should not have happened in the Ist place. My sister married a Spaniard and has lived out there for almost all of her adult life, it can be a deeply misogynistic country but someone in Rubiales position should know enough not to behave in that way.

AGAA4 Wed 13-Sep-23 15:48:51

It's time some men realised that they should stay within the bounds of decency.
I was reading on the BBC website about senior surgeons who while overseeing female junior surgeons grope them, rub up against them and one who rubbed his face on her cleavage. This was while they were operating.
I found this shocking on a number of levels. Patient safety being one of them.
That kiss shouldn't have happened either.

BlueBelle Wed 13-Sep-23 16:18:37

I can’t believe women on here are defending him !!!! ‘it’s just the Spanish way ‘ ‘she was smiling’ ‘she didn’t push him away’ if it was normal in Spain half the country wouldn’t be up in arms about it He grabbed her, pulled her in and plonked a great big fat kiss on her lips holding her head from getting away Giving him the benefit of the doubt let’s say it was an overexcitable kiss all he had to do was say he was sorry he got carried away, but no he had to put the blame on her and go on and on removing himself from any bad behaviour ….it was all her
He d already been jumping around grabbing his bits in public I suppose that’s ok in excitement too is it ???
Afraid his mother must be as mad as a box of frogs too

orly Fri 15-Sep-23 12:14:53

I am reminded of the "Kneegate affair" in which Sir Michael Fallon (Defence Secretary) touched reporter/presenter Julia Hartley Brewer on the knee and subsequently resigned. She said she confidently rebuffed his advance but it was not a reason for him to resign. Today's cancel culture and calling out sickens me - it's gone too far.

inishowen Fri 15-Sep-23 12:18:20

When I tell my daughter what it was like in the seventies she can't believe it. I was 17 and my middle aged boss would grab me from behind and swing me round. Another old fella would rub himself against me as I stood at the photocopier. Another one critiqued the girls figures and told us he would prefer a rounder tummy. This was in a professional office!

Louella12 Fri 15-Sep-23 12:25:43

I was a model in the 70s and never had any man rubbing himself against me or grabbing me from behind.

I am worried what this is doing to us in general. I have 2 young teen grandsons. Both have been taught about not touching girls and asking consent etc etc. But they seem to be separating entirely. One boy had fallen into a girl and she'd accused him of touching her elbow without consent. It is possibly a bit out of hand.

There is a video of the footballers in the coach. They are all laughing and joking and when the alleged sexual predator gets on the girls are all laughing and chanting beso at him. They didn't seem to be repulsed or insulted by him

I think social media has paid a huge part in this and that's the world we live in now. The outrage and endless comment is creating a strange environment where we are all having to be very careful of what is done and said.

Annie25 Fri 15-Sep-23 12:26:31

I think it was just a peck on the lips in the heat of the moment call it sexual assault is crazy ...if it hadn't been on TV would there have been half as much fuss .

icanhandthemback Fri 15-Sep-23 12:44:20

It is the arrogance of Rubiales that has lost him his job. I could have understood his excitement but a simple apology would have sorted things out. It appears the girl was coerced into saying that it was ok. For those that said the woman seemed ok, I don't think that is unusual. In the moment of the assault you might freeze or carry on as normal because you can't quite believe it is happening especially in your ecstasy of winning such a prestigious tournament. That doesn't mean that later when you come down from the high of everything else that was happening with all the celebrations that you are any less assaulted.
I have been in the situation where a man has trapped me in a room because he wants me to do something before he would let me leave. I have pinned a big smile on my face to try to banter my way out of the situation but it doesn't mean that my heart wasn't racing, that I didn't feel frightened and didn't suffer flashbacks later.

Anniebach Fri 15-Sep-23 12:59:51

If she was coerced into saying it was ok how come she was laughing and joking about it three days before she decided it wasn’t ok !

grandtanteJE65 Fri 15-Sep-23 12:59:55

I agree this kind of behaviour was quite common in the 1970s both in Scotland and in Denmark where I moved to in 1975.

I do not agree, however, the no-one took a blind bit of notice.

In my experience, the other women in the workplace warned you when you started to "Watch out for Mr. N - he can''t keep his hands to himself"

Most of us were adept at shrugging off unwanted hands, moving out the way, or saying in a joking kind of way, "Ups, I'm not that kind of girl." or "Keep it for your wife, will you?"

On one occasion I heard my sister say very loudly at a party, "Will ye tak' your haand aff my erse?" She said later that she had twice asked him more politely to remove his hand from her backside, before resorting to broad Glesca to express the same wish.

The difference between then and now is that then we dealt discreetly with blokes who insisted on kissing us inappropriately (you could even get away with warming their ears then) whereas now everyone starts screaming "sexual harrassment" to such an extent that the honestly meant compliment is dead, as no man dares say, "You look nice in that frock, hen" any longer.

Fine that the wandering hands are a thing of the past - if they are, but how would I now 71 know if they are? but a pity if neither men nor women can pay each other compliments or flirt in the Continental fashion any more. I seem to remember feeling chuffed when workmen wolf-whistled at sixteen-year old me back in 1967.

LisaP Fri 15-Sep-23 13:08:41

I am appalled by the comments here defending the actions of this slimeball.
"Its the Spanish way" - its comments like this that have allowed predators to get away with this behaviour for years.
"She was smiling, she changed her mind three days later" In actual fact she was very vocal directly afterwards saying that she didnt like that. And he pretty much had her in a headlock so she couldnt move away.
Spain (and many other countries, I'm sure) have had issues for so long with this 'its just their culteral way' in womens sport. Women hare having to continuously fight their way through everything. This is on HIM , not her.
Is it really acceptable for a man to grab his bits in front of a child just because he is excited by the event? I think not. Would he have done that to a male player? Doubt it.
We havent 'gone too far' as someone put it - we are now saying enough is enough.
The sad thing is that this incident has overshadowed what should have been a major celebration for Spain.

Vetrep Fri 15-Sep-23 13:09:24

She was perfectly happy at the time - she has her hands on his waist and was laughing. Another example of the press and Woke brigade blowing everything out of proportion.

jocork Fri 15-Sep-23 13:09:29

I used to attend a church where hugging was common. One of my friends wasn't comfortable with it and a particularly 'huggy' couple continued to hug her despite her saying she didn't like it. In the end she moved to another church. One has to be sensitive about these things and have respect for people's personal space.

I hated the hug and kiss I got from my future 'in-laws' when I first knew them but put up with it as I didn't want to offend them. I'm fine with hugs and kisses from close friends but everyone needs to take their cue from the potential recipient before launching into a hug or a kiss.