Am I wrong to think this is rude ?

Dickens

Well I think it's bad manners, and you are not being unreasonable in finding it intrusive.

However, the age old problem of not falling out with nice neighbours,,,

How about a radio in your kitchen - some loud-ish music (Classic FM?) might drown out their chatter, or even drive them to visit each other instead?

I agree. Also Pyracantha along the fence? 😳😂

NotSpaghetti
merlotgran I think now is the time to raise the fence if you can - even if you only do it near the house.
Once someone moves in it's rather pointed!

I see what you mean but I’m trying to be crafty, hoping the new people will want the extra height and privacy. That way I can ‘oblige’ by getting their builder to do it!!

The word on the block is that it’s a builder who has bought it (at auction) 🤞🤞

Pray for rain 😅

Can you switch your floodlight off while they're blethering?

By a good coverall dressing gown

Thank you for all your comments. I really didn't realise that this is not uncommon. I personally wouldn't do it but we are all different in what we consider acceptable. I will just have to get over it I know and try and ignore the situation.As I said I don't want to upset anyone. I did indeed switch the outside light off one evening after over 40 minutes , it possibly helped I think . I have muttered to myself about putting up high fencing on my side ( the rest of the gardens have very high fences so wouldn't look out of place ! ) but I know I wouldn't do that lol .
I guess a blind may be purchased, I definitely don't want a film as I love looking into my garden as much as possible. I may also try turning tv up !
Goodness I am turning into a grump 😂

Gangan2 I'd definitely try to engage in the conversation the odd evening. If nothing else it will feel nicer as though you have a bit more of a stake in the garden and a bit more control.

I think that by joining in a bit you will feel more of an "insider" and it will help you to relax about it.

Sometimes we have to do something counterintuitive to live in peace with something awkward.

To be honest ,there's nothing worse than having hostile neighbours .
One of my old neighbours made my life a misery .
My neighbour is very nice and the last thing that I'd want is to create bad feelings with her by complaining .

Maybe , I'd plant some shrubs in the border of that low fence so that chatting wasn't so easy as they couldn't see each other .

Why not push the boat out and invite them to a regular wine and cheese at your house so you can all socialise together ?

Sometimes we have to do something counterintuitive to live in peace with something awkward
Wise comment NotSpaghetti. I shall try to remember it.

Personally, I'd find it very irritating to have neighbours either side "chatting" regularly across my space, but for the sake of neighbourly relations a high fence might be a step too far.

Our neighbours on one side had a four foot fence with about a foot of trellising on top - not too exposed for either of us but we could see if someone was in the garden if we wanted to communicate, but weren't on top of each other. When they sold their house, the new neighbours immediately put up a 6 foot solid fence. Our garden is about 9 inches below theirs (we live on a hill) so the effect was like the Great Wall of China and put a large slice of our garden in complete shade after about one o'clock in summer and most of the day in winter! Complete redesign of border on that side of the garden ensued and it did feel rather an odd thing for them to do, although we never said a word.

In your situation, I think I would find some shrubs that will grow high enough and quickly enough to create a semi-permeable barrier, enough to screen but not a solid "wall". How about some Philadelphus? Beautiful scented flowers in the summer, leaves in spring until late Autumn. If the budget would allow it, you could get a more mature specimen that would give you the privacy you need more quickly. Or, as other have said, some trellising and grow a honeysuckle, clematis (there are some everygreen ones that grow quickly) or climbing rose up it. You would have a perfect excuse in saying that you wanted flowers and/or scent near the house and you would only have to do it on the one side to have the desired effect of cutting off their direct eyeline in order to chat.

Hope you find the responses here helpful, and that you come back and let us all know what you decide to do.

My NDN used to poke her ugly snoot over the fence and call out to me. I replaced it with fencing as high as the law permits and now she cant look over unless sha stands on a ladder. High fences make for good neighbourly relations.

biglouis

My NDN used to poke her ugly snoot over the fence and call out to me. I replaced it with fencing as high as the law permits and now she cant look over unless sha stands on a ladder. High fences make for good neighbourly relations.

They may well do but you sound like one heck of a scary neighbour! 😱

biglouis

My NDN used to poke her ugly snoot over the fence and call out to me. I replaced it with fencing as high as the law permits and now she cant look over unless sha stands on a ladder. High fences make for good neighbourly relations.

Sounds like quite the opposite in fact!

Saying your neighbour has an ugly snoot on social media is rude.
I wonder if she's on GN and what she thinks of you 😲

biglouis

My NDN used to poke her ugly snoot over the fence and call out to me. I replaced it with fencing as high as the law permits and now she cant look over unless sha stands on a ladder. High fences make for good neighbourly relations.

🎶 Neighbours, everybody needs good neighbours 🎶

Somehow I don’t think she will miss you, with opinions like that.

OP I’d take my courage in both hands, put 3 mugs of tea (or g&t’s, depending on your neighbours!) on a tray with a plate of biscuits and invite yourself to join them.
If they back off so be it but nobody can hold anything against you or think you unfriendly.

can you plant some trees or hedging?

Fences are often the cause of trouble. My friend had a new build next door on a plot that’s not very wide. There were all sorts of conditions before it was built. One was that it had to have a certain height fencing between them supplied by the new build.

The fence was put up all the way down the garden but where the dining room looked out to my friend’s garden they put 2 fencing panels much lower. I don’t suppose they liked looking out at a fence but my friend complained to the council who made them put full size up again.

RosiesMaw

OP I’d take my courage in both hands, put 3 mugs of tea (or g&t’s, depending on your neighbours!) on a tray with a plate of biscuits and invite yourself to join them.
If they back off so be it but nobody can hold anything against you or think you unfriendly.

Maw, this reminds me of the first time I invited a couple to my new home for a late afternoon cup of tea. We’d met up at a local flower show but due to a sudden power cut the organisers had to stop serving teas so I invited them back to mine.

As time was getting on I was thinking I should maybe offer them the choice of a glass of wine but when the wife spotted my well stocked wine rack she muttered, ‘Like a tipple, do you?’ in a way which made me grab the kettle and cheerfully ask, ‘Tea OK’?

The husband’s face fell! 😂

If it was just a quick chat it would be acceptable and I’d put up with it but if they’re chatting for 40 minutes or more across your space it’s a bit much & not very respectful of your privacy.

As others have suggested I’d put some trellis on the fence at the top of the garden and grow a fast growing clematis or other climbing plant. They’ll have to move further down the garden then if they want to chat and it won’t be so intrusive. Good idea to occasionally join in for a little while & remain friendly but you shouldn’t feel obliged if you’re busy doing other things. Once it’s really dark & cold they won’t want to stand about for long hopefully.

That would drive me mad .

Having said that, we have high hedges down the sides of our gardens (front and back) and as a result we only see our neighbours if they happen to be leaving via the front gate or the back where the garages are at the same time as we are. Obviously comings and goings are rarely timed so that this happens, so we just don't know them.

I'm not too bothered, as I'm used to it and am not a 'dropper in' anyway, but if you like a neighbourly environment you might regret fencing off your garden altogether.

Gangan2 You can buy window film that allows you to see out but won't allow people to see in - it's really useful for homes that have people passing close to windows.

I have film on one of my windows that you can't see out and it's a very pretty pattern and doesn't block any light

oh gosh, I guess in certain communities it is not unusual. me? I like my privacy, though I also like a "natter" I would want a higher fence, I think it is more thoughtless than rude.

I moved into a house with tall hedges, one of which died so I took it out. The neighbours told me it had been planted to stop them gossiping across the gardens. I cut back the other hedge and for years we all happily chatted across several gardens and it was lovely to live amongst such friendly people. So, my advice, either plant a big hedge or accept the way the neighbours are and become part of it. Should say, the day the lady next door went out and saw the second hedge was gone she cried, I thought I'd upset her and said I would regrow the hedge, but her husband came over t tell me it was because she was so happy to be able to resume neighbourly chats over the gardens.

You have every right to be in your dressing gown in your own home, with doors open or however. If they don't like it they can stop looking (if they even are). My next door neighbour sunbathes topless and it doesn't bother me or her if I see.

Have a big garden party with a very smoky barbecue. Invite all your friends and relatives. Beer,wine,steak and smoke them out. Nasty,sure,but it sends a message.