To be blindsided by DNA test?.

Germanshepherdsmum

VioletSky

Is one enough?

There are also news articles stating that remains have (awfully) been exhumed by heir hunters for DNA tests

Please provide links to these articles.

Yes I would like the links as well please Violet sky. People cannot just ask for bodies to be exhumed without going through the legal system.Heir Hunters are independent companies not police so would not have a case to have a body exhumed.

We certainly know someone is back. Not keeping to the original post.Lets see if this gets removed

www.thesun.co.uk/money/19684388/find-out-if-you-could-be-lost-heir/

I wouldn't say it if I didn't believe it to be the case

I have posted all required links

I can't help you to read them I am afraid

VioletSky

I have posted all required links

I can't help you to read them I am afraid

Well if your textbook is The Sun, we need help, what will be appearing next, Little men from Mars sneaking DNA?
Tissue matching has been applied since transplantation became widely available not DNA which has only been available in the last few years and gives a more accurate result but not necessarily in the issue of tranplantation.

Sorry, I am not following you at all now

Sometimes Heirhunters do DNA tests we now know, especially if there was no marriage or the father was not on the birth certificate

So potentially it is possible that was the truth

VioletSky

Actually you are twisting my words which may cause the upset that you wish to avoid

Comments are being removed from this thread so I would suggest this stops now and people focus on OP instead

I suggest you focus on the OP post and stop coming up with you own half-baked ideas that could damage the OP further.
Are you going to get this removed as well? If you do wait for the results. The lady who uses the Sun as her text book.

I wanted to focus on OP from the beginning... Read back

I'm not really interested in arguing but I will defend my right to have my own thoughts and give my own advice

What an awful situation for you! You were clearly a very vulnerable young teenager and you’ve had to live with things many of us cannot imagine.

So, on a practical note, after all these years does it really matter to you? Sadly, if your estranged son is still a heroin addict this could just be an elaborate lie, designed to “punish” and hurt you. Has he explained how and why he got this man’s DNA?

Please don’t let this blight your life, we all do things in our lives that in hindsight we wouldn’t go back and do again. We all make mistakes and it seems that you had no emotional support in your childhood, which is awful.

I have no advice, just sending good wishes to you x

Having now read through these comments I do have some observations.

Two years ago my five cousins and I were contacted by THREE different Heir Hunters, we investigated further and it was traced to a second cousin, we all knew of, who was a spinster living in France. At no point were ANY of us asked to supply DNA. My friend also actually ended up with an inheritance via Heir Hunters, she was never asked to supply DNA.

I worked, twice a week, in two different Drug Rehabs as part of an outreach job I did for over 3tears. Many of our “clients” were heroin addicts, many were lovely people actually, most were habitual liars! Sorry VS, I cannot agree, from real-life personal experience, that ALL or even many, addicts suffered from traumatic childhoods, SOME do, many don’t and had stable, loving upbringings and moved into heroin from other less addiction drugs for a variety of reasons, I also cannot see how any family therapy/counselling can possibly help either the son or mother in these specific circumstances.

I wholeheartedly agree with GSM and her fair, sane and sensible advice and comments on this thread.

Agree with your comments Cossy 👍🏻

So do I, and I hope that Buttonjugs hasn't been too upset by the insinuations on this thread. If you're still reading, Buttonjugs, remember that most people have been supportive.

Doodlebug, Oreo and GSM, I truly hope that the poor OP is still watching and reading and ignores some of the sheer nonsense and nasty “suggestions” on here! Have a great day x

Thanks Cossy. I hope Buttonjugs has been able to take comfort from the many supportive posts, which are overwhelmingly in the majority and tell her that she should ignore what her son has said as yet another of his lies. She’s the mother of her son and we all know how powerful a mother’s instinct, which she has had all these years, is.

M0nica

VS Go back to the post Germanshepherdsmum made on Sat 16-Dec-23 10:21:56, to be found on page 1 of this thread.

In that thread GSM, who is a solicitor, shows quite conclusively that the tale the son is telling is impossible because if the way our legal system works and Heir Hunters work.

There is absolutely no reason why the OP should consider her son's story as anything other than a tissue of lies.

In that thread GSM, who is a solicitor, shows quite conclusively that the tale the son is telling is impossible because if the way our legal system works and Heir Hunters work.

Exactly.

GSM has given the practical advice and information that Buttonjugs is looking for.

The son has a history of stealing from the family, and lying, because of his addiction. The OP is not asking for advice on how to deal with that issue - she has told us about it because that is the reason she does not trust him to be telling the truth.

It's quite possible the OP has done her own soul-searching on the matter of her son's drug addiction, but that is not the issue here. It is completely separate from what the she is asking of us.

Buttonjugs I endorse, as others have, GSM's advice. She not only has some expertise in the legal field, but has obviously taken the time to give some careful thought to the problem.

I hope your mind will be at peace soon.

I support all the comments made above and the legal knowledge GMS has.
I hope you find closure Buttonjugs and come back and read these supportive comments.
Lots do things in their teenage years they wouldn't do when they are older. To go into CBT counselling would as been said give your son another platform to hurt you.
I hope you find peace. Go forward with your life not looking back and regretting.

VioletSky

I wanted to focus on OP from the beginning... Read back

I'm not really interested in arguing but I will defend my right to have my own thoughts and give my own advice

Defend away, best of luck and I hope you follow the advice you like giving to others. It's not easy to argue with yourself verbally, is it?
Merry Christmas.

I'd imagine they'd need DNA test just incase the wrong person inherits!

If he's not inherited anything then he's not his son.

OP it sounds like you had a really tough time when you was a teenager, you were took advantage of by men. Don't beat yourself up for things you cannot change. Your son also sounds like he's a rough time.

Be kind to yourself.

I really hope the son is able to access help one day and heal

It's always possible

Preferably they can access some help to do it together but everyone has to want that

everyone has to want that
By George! She's got it.

VioletSky

I really hope the son is able to access help one day and heal

It's always possible

Preferably they can access some help to do it together but everyone has to want that

Whatever the cause of the addiction, and none of us can presume to know it, he has to deal with the fact of the addiction first.

A ravaged body - and mind - cannot rationally consider anything other than the next 'fix'.

You might think that the 'healing' comes from understanding the cause of the addiction, but knowing it will not stop the physical craving.

People 'do' drugs for many reasons - and sometimes, for none at all. They come from all kinds of backgrounds and family situations, and are not necessarily unhappy with life, Historically, mankind has always been attracted to mind-altering substances.

Nothing OP has said shows that the son needs to ‘heal’. She doesn’t say that he is still addicted to heroin or any other substance. It seems to me that it is the OP who needs to heal after what her son told her.

Absolutely, Dickens. Look at Tamara Palmer-Tomkinson. Wealthy, loving family, very well connected, a ‘trust fund girl’. Her addiction ended her life.

It must be hard enough to know that your child has an addiction, without the added burden of worrying that you as their parent, are going to be held somehow accountable.

Smileless2012

It must be hard enough to know that your child has an addiction, without the added burden of worrying that you as their parent, are going to be held somehow accountable.

. . . by someone who has met neither of you