AIBU about meeting halfway?

Having had a child, whether intentionally or not, they then have a duty to give it the best life they can, putting their own wishes on the back burner. Children are grown and gone so very quickly. They can have all the self indulgent holidays they want then. Is it much to ask?

I respect people's right to have "then time, and I think it's good that people are more open in expressing themselves.

But... I still think they're a selfish pair of sods.

A df who was a nursery school teacher was asked by a couple if she could please take their DC in the holidays as they would be skiing.

Plenty of parents have sent their DC to boarding schools so that someone else can look after them. I was at boarding school myself and met a few unhappy youngsters.

Do you have your own children? Would you do the same to pick up their offspring?

Thank you everyone for all your feedback and advice. It's helping me put things into perspective. As a long-time step-parent I've always found it best to support what my partner wants for his children, and that hasn't changed since they are grown up. I've let him know how I feel about the situation, and he has some similar concerns, so hopefully we will be able to agree a way forward.

I do have my own adult kids and am less circumspect with them. If they were making parenting decisions I felt were unwise or not in their childrens' best interests I would feel more able to bring it up with them directly. But I need to tread carefully here.

I think it's up to you. None of us can be in your shoes.

Fantastic! Your GC is coming to stay.

Even better you are meeting up half way between their place & yours - their jolly with you starts right there & then.

No doubt his mum will need to get back home promptly to make sure everything is in place before they go away for their holiday. Likely you’ll be meeting up sometime in the middle of the day.

As you are the ones offering the favour, you get to determine time & location of meet up. Use this opportunity wisely. Opt for mutual ease of travelling but stick to times that work for you… no last minute car park handover nonsense.

An opportunity to have a great lunch with GC - anything from McD’s piled high or something more suited to your palette? Whatever you choose, make a treat of it, go over the top. Your GC will enjoy the indulgence of free & easy scoff without parents.

Never mind the parents, develop good will & acceptance with your GC.

Glass half full.

Granny square. Agree totally. Fab post! Children’s needs first.

My DD lives just over 100 miles away. I'm quite happy to meet halfway

I think if you've agreed to look after this little boy that it is the kindest thing to do for your Stepdaughter to meet her halfway. However I would also encourage your DH to have strong words with her to encourage her to take her son on holiday every time they go as he is so young..

We have just come back from babysitting over the Bank Holiday for my DS’s 10th wedding anniversary and we stayed in their house. It was much easier as they had friends etc around

You start by saying she is your stepdaughter, so hubbies daughter. what does he think. If she was your child would it be unreasonable? In the long run not worth falling out over this as people would need to take sides and everyone end up hurt.

When they had one regularly drove half way to collect dog when dog sitting needed. For my grandchildren I'd drive drive the moon and back if asked.

..

Could you not stay in their place for the long weekend? That way the little boy would have all his familiar things around him and you would have a change of space and routine.

..

I would happily meet them half way, and if they were really pushed, I would actually go and pick my grandchild up to save the parents hassle. Cos I love them!

Yes YABU.
Would be a very interesting survey to find out how many of the hard done by comments I read on this site come from Step relatives.

It would be me as the grandmother offering to meet half way. So they wouldn’t have 6 hr journey day before they go away for a break.

We have always done this....it can be inconvenient, but it's part of helping in my opinion!

I still feel the OP is being put upon. She gives an inch and they take a mile.
The ones going away are being unreasonable by suggesting a halfway meeting for an already anxious little boy.

But it's not me, I realise and you Katya will know what to do. You will be used to navigating tricky situations by now.

Why not treat it as part of your weekend s fun with gs? Use the meeting point to carry on somewhere else that u may not otherwise have thought about. Have fun with the the time u have with gs. 😊 😊

In the same situation I'd have picked grandchild up from home to save my stepdaughter adding the drive time in to a busy time for her

They are probably eager to get away for the holidays, to meet halfway for one time isn’t being unreasonable, I would gladly do it but not every time. 3 hours is a heck of a journey just for a weekend.
I’d be more concerned that I’d make sure I’d got everything for GS, you don’t state how old he is but if very young, making sure I had travel cot and feeding bits, my GS is 6 months old so there would be a lot of stuff I’d need.

Would it have been easier for you to stay at their house!

I think for the sake of the little one, yes do meet half way it ll give you an extra half day to spoil the little chap

I have flown to Ireland for the weekend when mine were small that was a long stretch for a couple of days

However if you are really worried about how the little chaps being parented get your husband to talk to his daughter about it

Why don’t folks read follow on posts the little chap is 4 bevispl