DD’s wedding

I agree. It's all very well getting married abroad and expecting everyone to attend.

Sadly weddings overseas are a current "fad" (not saying that this is one). My DD and her DH have a circle of friends who are very well off (6-figure incomes each) and my DD/DH are less wealthy. They have spent a small fortune on attending overseas stag/hen do's and weddings which they really couldn't afford.

The latest groom-to-be has invited his pals to his stag do abroad and informed them the hotel etc will cost around £1,500 each. People started to decline such that the cost went up to nearly £2k! He has had a rethink and has switched to the UK at a "much cheaper" cos of £800. My SIL has declined, saying "enough is enough".

My step son got married two years ago in Cyprus. It cost them an arm and a leg. But lots of family members were honest and said they couldn’t afford it. In the end there was only their two children, me and my husband and a couple with a son that they went on hol with every year. Even her dad didn’t arrange to go until the last minute - they aren’t close so he just flew over and stayed in another hotel for two nights and didn't socialise with us.
I feel for you. It’s a shame that your daughter isn’t more understanding - you’re not at fault. In hindsight I wish I hadn’t gone as it wasn’t really a pleasant experience and it cost my husband about £3000 for us to go all in all.
By the way, my step son is back living with us now as his fairytale wedding didn’t last long ….

Getting married overseas doesn't have to cost a fortune. My daughter and her husband chose to get married in Corfu, just the two of them, plus her dad and I as witnesses, because they didn't want a big wedding and lots of fuss here at home. No-one else knew about it. It was a beautiful day and we all enjoyed a week's holiday in the sun at the same time. A couple of months after the 'big day', they invited family and friends to a party at a local hall - didn't cost much and everyone said it was one of the best 'weddings' they'd been to.

My son got married in Mauritius and we did not go, nohard feelings, they know I do not cope well with hot weather.

Now my grandson is getting married abroad next year. I have told him I will not go as I cannot get insurance due to ill health. Could you say the same? As you have health problems insurance willl be very expensive.

That sounds lovely ViceVersa.
Good idea Gin.

Venues overseas are generally less expensive than in the uk
I’m not a fan but our generation did what we wanted to, our adult children doing it very differently

I’m really so appreciative of the time so many lovely GNetters have put into sharing their thoughts.

I think the stars are aligned in a rather amazing way. Out walking the dogs a few weeks ago, I met a young woman I’d worked with during Covid, we both did a Saturday shift in a supermarket. I was surprised she was in this village but our very brief chat was just on the lines of “Gosh, didn’t you work at …. ? What sweet dogs!”

Today I browsed the village Facebook page and there is an advert for her newish dog-walking / dog-sitting business, loads of photos. Long phone call, and she’s booked to look after the dogs here, with time for her other walks too. She is happy to do the full week, so I can travel door to door with my other daughter, who is in the same hotel. I won’t need to drive to or from the airport so I can ask the GP for something a lot stronger than Kalms, they’re both evening flights. Having flown only once in the past 20 years, and only a few times ever, I just hope it’s a smooth journey.

It will still be nerve-wracking socially, it may still be hotter than I’ve ever known. It will still be a big hotel, but - it’s air conditioned, I can hide in my room to avoid the sun and perhaps the DGC will be happy indoors, I’ve said I absolutely refuse to watch small boys near a pool or in a crowd. However, they are clearly absolutely thrilled that I’ll be there.

My three AC have generously offered, between them, to pay for the flights and hotel, my outfit, and the dog sitter.

Now I need to get travel insurance, but I’m going to sleep better tonight than I have done for several weeks.

Thank you all. Wish me luck!

Twiglet - Definitely wishing you well. Serendipity at work there over the dog-minder!

Well done Twiglet. I’m sure you will end up having a lovely time

Wishing you well. Have a lovely time.

I feel enormous sympathy for you and absolutely understand how you feel. Please start by going to doc and seeking help about your anxiety over the flight and the hotel stay. Don't mention the dogs and other practicalities ... concentrate on your anxieties.
When you have sought that help you can get down to solving the practical problems.
So hard for you ... I would struggle with it too. I do not fly ... I hate everything about it, and as my DDs always say . "Mum doesn't travel well." Always with a smile.
I hope you can get some help that will resolve this for you.

Aw! That's so nice Twiglet. True serendipity. 💛

I hope your passport is up to date.
Enjoy your adventure. Enjoy your family.

That's great news twiglet.

Well done Twiglet all sorted. I wish you a wonderful time. Do come back and let us all know how it went. xx

Life is looking after you Twiglet.. relax and enjoy

It has turned out perfectly for you, Twiglet. Now that you are relaxed about the flight, you will probably find that the wedding is far more enjoyable than you fear. If you're worried about the heat, get one of those little battery-driven fans which you can keep in your handbag and cool yourself when it gets too hot.

Good resolution. You are lucky to have such a supportive family.

ViceVersa

Getting married overseas doesn't have to cost a fortune. My daughter and her husband chose to get married in Corfu, just the two of them, plus her dad and I as witnesses, because they didn't want a big wedding and lots of fuss here at home. No-one else knew about it. It was a beautiful day and we all enjoyed a week's holiday in the sun at the same time. A couple of months after the 'big day', they invited family and friends to a party at a local hall - didn't cost much and everyone said it was one of the best 'weddings' they'd been to.

I would have felt very upset if I had been the grooms mother .....didn't you feel guilty knowing you were there but not the grooms parents? ...or maybe he doesn't have any ?

twiglet77

I’m really so appreciative of the time so many lovely GNetters have put into sharing their thoughts.

I think the stars are aligned in a rather amazing way. Out walking the dogs a few weeks ago, I met a young woman I’d worked with during Covid, we both did a Saturday shift in a supermarket. I was surprised she was in this village but our very brief chat was just on the lines of “Gosh, didn’t you work at …. ? What sweet dogs!”

Today I browsed the village Facebook page and there is an advert for her newish dog-walking / dog-sitting business, loads of photos. Long phone call, and she’s booked to look after the dogs here, with time for her other walks too. She is happy to do the full week, so I can travel door to door with my other daughter, who is in the same hotel. I won’t need to drive to or from the airport so I can ask the GP for something a lot stronger than Kalms, they’re both evening flights. Having flown only once in the past 20 years, and only a few times ever, I just hope it’s a smooth journey.

It will still be nerve-wracking socially, it may still be hotter than I’ve ever known. It will still be a big hotel, but - it’s air conditioned, I can hide in my room to avoid the sun and perhaps the DGC will be happy indoors, I’ve said I absolutely refuse to watch small boys near a pool or in a crowd. However, they are clearly absolutely thrilled that I’ll be there.

My three AC have generously offered, between them, to pay for the flights and hotel, my outfit, and the dog sitter.

Now I need to get travel insurance, but I’m going to sleep better tonight than I have done for several weeks.

Thank you all. Wish me luck!

Good luck 🍀 and have a lovely lovely time !

My Nephew's Bride had always dreamt of a wedding on a tropical beach but once the couple had investigated the difficulties and cost of such a wedding they found a compromise solution Viz They had their honeymoon in their desired location before the wedding and were married on the beach - just the 2 of them the, celebrant and someone hired to make a video recording of the ceremony. A week after they came home the well tanned couple hosted a sort of wedding reception with a meal, speeches, music and dancing. The video was shown and all at no cost or long distance travel for the guests = Everybody Happy

I just came back to this thread in the hope that you would have resolved your problems. I’m so happy that you’ll have.
By the way you said that the weather will be hotter than you have ever known. I’m sure you managed to cope during some of the very hot spells we’ve had here. In a hotel you’ll always have the option of avoiding the heat and it will be cool when you sleep which always helps. Have a wonderful and memorable time!

Wow Twiglet, great news. I'm with you regarding watching small children near water.

LOUISA1523

ViceVersa

Getting married overseas doesn't have to cost a fortune. My daughter and her husband chose to get married in Corfu, just the two of them, plus her dad and I as witnesses, because they didn't want a big wedding and lots of fuss here at home. No-one else knew about it. It was a beautiful day and we all enjoyed a week's holiday in the sun at the same time. A couple of months after the 'big day', they invited family and friends to a party at a local hall - didn't cost much and everyone said it was one of the best 'weddings' they'd been to.

I would have felt very upset if I had been the grooms mother .....didn't you feel guilty knowing you were there but not the grooms parents? ...or maybe he doesn't have any ?

Actually, his mother died several years ago, but he did ask his dad and stepmum if they would like to come, and they didn't want to. They were more than happy just to come to the 'after party', and we did stress to my daughter and her husband that if they just wanted to go away and get married with just the two of them, that would be fine with us too. We were more than happy to go along with their wishes - after all, it was their wedding, not ours.

Twiglet have a wonderful time . And you will cherish the memories you make there. 🌹