Not

I don’t think OP is necessarily getting the responses she hoped for from the majority of contributors to this thread and yet again we are drip-fed additional detail, presumably designed to enlighten or explain, but to me sounding more like more digging (and we all know, when you are in a hole……..)
As for suggesting or imagining anybody here enjoys a post-retirement life sitting about all day with no idea of how hard things can be
Words fail me!
(@ Silverbrooks and others- well said!)

You talk about your daughter being in a huff and being petty but I really think you were petty to think your meal had priority over an injured grandson
It was unfortunate it happened while you were on a break but come on nothing was planned to break up your meal surely you could have worked round it and had your meal another day or another time
How many of us have at times had to accept disappointments or alterations to accommodate a poorly or injured grandchild I bet most have at some point You plan a day out with a friend and your son or daughter rings up to say junior can’t go to school as they are poorly You don’t say no do you ? Well I never did
The poor daughter sounds like she has a demanding job with children whose Dad has died and relies on you as a back up but you are resentful it would alter one meal out It’s not like you couldn’t continue your holiday
Sorry but I think you are out of order

If true, I don't know why the poster posed the question if she feels she is right. I think think possibly she is not certain she is right and has a guilty conscience.
I know if I thought I was right in this situation I would not post as I would not need validation.

JaneJudge

I think posters have been quite harsh tbh
I had zero help with my children, hours away from family and just got on with it.
I certainly wouldn’t have called my family an hour or two or six away

I would never have dreamed of asking my parents if they had other plans. But blended families 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ For us they present other challenges

It’s fairly normal for families with healthy relationships to call upon each other in times of need. It makes no one a lesser mother to not play the martyr. Even more normal for a grandmother to come to the aid of her ailing grandchild, as evidenced by the vast majority of the responses the OP is receiving across two websites.

I wouldn’t dream of putting mere convenience and a dinner over being there for my family. That’s harsh.

I certainly wouldn’t expect them to want to spend time with me strictly at my own pleasure. I wouldn’t feel sorry for myself when my daughter meets me at the level of prioritization that I placed her and her children on.

kittylester

If you have agreed to be the school's contact number you really should have gone. I feel very sorry for your grandchild - they must have felt abandoned.

I agree.
I would have gone.

I can see the situation, you had enjoyed a lovely day, and were looking forward to a relaxing evening, then the phone rings…….
I can se why you might feel some disappointment, but I can’t imagine at what point you came to the decision not to respond, how do you feel about in retrospect? Do you think you did the wrong thing?

nightowl

A month ago I fell down a couple of stairs in a strange house and badly twisted my ankle. The pain was so intense it took my breath away and I’m embarrassed to admit I actually went into shock - I felt freezing cold and couldn’t stop shaking for quite some time.

The possibility of my 14 year old grandson in such pain, having to wait 2.5 hours until his mum could get there to take him to hospital, doesn’t bear thinking about. If he knew that his GM had been nearer but wouldn’t come to him I imagine he would be very hurt. You don’t seem to have much empathy for either your grandson or your daughter, doing her best as a single mum in a responsible job and finding there was no one she could rely on to help her in a crisis. No wonder she said she was done - you may have done more damage than you seem to realise.

I don't think comparing yourself to a 14 year old is helpful! The 14 year old presumably had some basic medical care.

Any help I ever had I bought in. Nobody did anything for me or my family, so no doubt I see things differently.

I voted on mumsnet. You should have gone.

Allira

^Thank you - I won’t feel guilty. Basically it made sense to have me until we moved away from the area 7 months or so ago and I’m guessing that she’s just forgotten I was in the list. Not now at least - I’m sure she’s already has removed me in her huff^ 😆

So it's funny, is it?
Or is it watching the reactions of Gransnetters which is causing your amusement?

Have we been had?

Most certainly 😥 id bet the bungalow it’s a ChatBot.
I have other theories 😉

petra 👍🏻

You are down as the emergency contact if mum isn't available and you live 2 HOURS away!! How does that work then?

The fact that your holiday meant you were closer geographically when your DGS was injured at school was pure coincidence and on that occasion it put you in a position to help BUT chose not to because you had dinner plans speaks volumes about your priorities OP!

The key word here is emergency.
Grandchild has a suspected broken ankle. Who can get to him quickest? Grandmother who, unusually,is in the vicinity. Grandmother chooses not to go because she has a dinner reservation and doesn't want to miss it.
Sparkleyhairgran would you accept ,with good grace,that reason for your daughter not turning up to help you out in an emergency? You weren't being asked to drop off his forgotten gym kit, were you?

Any help I ever had I bought in. Nobody did anything for me or my family, so no doubt I see things differently

In other words I’m all right Jack. God preserve us from relationships like this - where is love or compassion? .

glasshalffullagain

nightowl

A month ago I fell down a couple of stairs in a strange house and badly twisted my ankle. The pain was so intense it took my breath away and I’m embarrassed to admit I actually went into shock - I felt freezing cold and couldn’t stop shaking for quite some time.

The possibility of my 14 year old grandson in such pain, having to wait 2.5 hours until his mum could get there to take him to hospital, doesn’t bear thinking about. If he knew that his GM had been nearer but wouldn’t come to him I imagine he would be very hurt. You don’t seem to have much empathy for either your grandson or your daughter, doing her best as a single mum in a responsible job and finding there was no one she could rely on to help her in a crisis. No wonder she said she was done - you may have done more damage than you seem to realise.

I don't think comparing yourself to a 14 year old is helpful! The 14 year old presumably had some basic medical care.

Any help I ever had I bought in. Nobody did anything for me or my family, so no doubt I see things differently.

I wasn’t comparing myself to a 14 year old but empathising with the amount of pain he must have been in. I was very aware that I didn’t handle it well and I’m usually quite stoic, and I only had a sprain and not a fracture. Basic medical care won’t take away that pain.
I’m sorry you didn’t have any help from family but that’s not really relevant to this situation where the OP’s daughter had thought she had backup but it didn’t come through when she needed it.

petra

Allira

Thank you - I won’t feel guilty. Basically it made sense to have me until we moved away from the area 7 months or so ago and I’m guessing that she’s just forgotten I was in the list. Not now at least - I’m sure she’s already has removed me in her huff 😆

So it's funny, is it?
Or is it watching the reactions of Gransnetters which is causing your amusement?

Have we been had?

Most certainly 😥 id bet the bungalow it’s a ChatBot.
I have other theories 😉

👍

Yes, but we're not allowed to say 😀

She wouldn't be invited to mine for Easter.
Nor Christmas either.

Allira

It might have been better going off in another direction entirely for your much-needed break, letting your DD know so she could make other emergency arrangements.

Indeed. I just hope you've all learned from this and that she has now got emergency contacts who live nearer and can be of help quickly. That's the nature of emergencies, surely?

I wonder if the OP has reflected on the responses she has received and on the various pathetic excuses she made for not helping her grandson and her obviously very hard-pressed (and doubtless pretty stressed) daughter? Has she decided whether her actions (or lack of) were justified and understood why her daughter no longer wishes to spend the Easter holiday with her?

We all react differently to things, and no doubt you felt your reasons not to collect your grandson were understandable.
But, I know what I would have done. I would have collected my grandson and postponed the meal until another day.
I think maybe you judged it wrong.

My instinct would be to collect my grandchild however surely if the school thought he had broken his ankle they would call an ambulance as paramedics would know how to safely strap it up?
Anyway I would have gone as that is what I do.

Barleyfields

I wonder if the OP has reflected on the responses she has received and on the various pathetic excuses she made for not helping her grandson and her obviously very hard-pressed (and doubtless pretty stressed) daughter? Has she decided whether her actions (or lack of) were justified and understood why her daughter no longer wishes to spend the Easter holiday with her?

And might that account for radio silence from OP ?

Allira

petra

Allira

Thank you - I won’t feel guilty. Basically it made sense to have me until we moved away from the area 7 months or so ago and I’m guessing that she’s just forgotten I was in the list. Not now at least - I’m sure she’s already has removed me in her huff 😆

So it's funny, is it?
Or is it watching the reactions of Gransnetters which is causing your amusement?

Have we been had?

Most certainly 😥 id bet the bungalow it’s a ChatBot.
I have other theories 😉

👍

Yes, but we're not allowed to say 😀

She wouldn't be invited to mine for Easter.
Nor Christmas either.

But the rest of the year is ok 😂

petra

Allira

petra

Allira

Thank you - I won’t feel guilty. Basically it made sense to have me until we moved away from the area 7 months or so ago and I’m guessing that she’s just forgotten I was in the list. Not now at least - I’m sure she’s already has removed me in her huff 😆

So it's funny, is it?
Or is it watching the reactions of Gransnetters which is causing your amusement?

Have we been had?

Most certainly 😥 id bet the bungalow it’s a ChatBot.
I have other theories 😉

👍

Yes, but we're not allowed to say 😀

She wouldn't be invited to mine for Easter.
Nor Christmas either.

But the rest of the year is ok 😂

😂

Nah, no-one gets invited unless it's Easter or Christmas! 🐰🐣🎅

Do I get a prize for mentioning Christmas first on GN?

I wasn’t comparing myself to a 14 year old but empathising with the amount of pain he must have been in.

I fully understand this worry people have expressed on the thread about the possible pain the boy was in, but since his mum and he didn't get back from the hospital until 'late' (if I've remembered the relevent post from the OP correctly) it sounds as if his being checked over took some time anyway, so grandma rushing over in a flap wouldn't really have helped much, if at all, anyway.

Having broken three bones during the last seven years myself, and having a very low pain threshold, I'm pretty sure that if you keep still the pain is not agonising. Certainly that is my experience. So, again, waiting at school – one presumes they gave him somewhere comfortable to sit and wait – won't have done him any harm.

I think shock actually helps in that regard too.

I fully understand this worry people have expressed on the thread about the possible pain the boy was in, but since his mum and he didn't get back from the hospital until 'late' (if I've remembered the relevent post from the OP correctly) it sounds as if his being checked over took some time anyway, so grandma rushing over in a flap wouldn't really have helped much, if at all, anyway.

Granny could have taken him to hospital and stayed until his Mum came to take over. Otherwise a teacher (responsible adult) would have had to stay with him.
There was a younger child to consider too, who needed picking up from school or the kind friend who collected her.

I know that a fracture can be very painful as I have one at the moment. So can a sprain. When I broke my ankle I couldn't get up from the floor.

Anyway, it's all irrelevant.

Parsley3

The key word here is emergency.
Grandchild has a suspected broken ankle. Who can get to him quickest? Grandmother who, unusually,is in the vicinity. Grandmother chooses not to go because she has a dinner reservation and doesn't want to miss it.
Sparkleyhairgran would you accept ,with good grace,that reason for your daughter not turning up to help you out in an emergency? You weren't being asked to drop off his forgotten gym kit, were you?

A possible broken ankle of a school child at school is not an emergency in my book. It needs dealing with certainly but an actual emergency would require an ambulance. School did not call an ambulance.