Whats it really like living alon

Hi london hope that smiley face is for me! You made me laugh about the knitting. I'm typing on my phone so smiley faces are too bothersome. But a grin and a wink to you!

sel a must stop starking you but a lot of the threads i dont read .just when you pop up ,

Well I'm taking that as a compliment - I've never had a stalker before! Grin and wink again.

Nutmeg was so sorry to hear you lost your husband quite early, I always worried that would happen to me, My sister lost her husband 3 years ago and she took it extremly bad, but she was the sort that was prepared to look for another, we she has now found,not sure I would, think I would be more like you, but you have yourself and it is important, I think to value ones self. Best wishes to you..

I've been alone now for a week, through choice. Needed to get away and sort out some family business. I've really enjoyed the peace and quiet, not having to think about others, or feed people. I can choose what time I get up and go to bed. But I don't like being alone in the house at night.

I have family up here and have been visiting them today. I didn't remember to leave a light on so came home to a dark Flat. I know if I lived alone permenantly I'd want a dog, a biggish one.

I go home at the end of the week and will appreciate having MrJ bumbling around and seeing my grandchildren again. I feel really sory for those who have lost a much loved husband and are finding it hard to be alone, especially at this time of year.

I live five minutes away from four of my five children and see them irregularly, probably about once every couple of months. My eldest daughter has asked me to go to the Theatre with her twice in the last twelve months the others tend to only see me when they want something eg baby sitting. So you see living nearer doesn't neccessarily mean you see them more often. And yes I sometimes feel lonely. My sister said I shouldn't rely on them for company but it is not that. Ijust enjoy the rare occasions when I see them.

crimson lurchers are fun whether you are alone or not
to appreciate their qualities the book 'Walking Ollie' by Stephen Foster is a great read on living with a lurcher - had me laughing out loud
gracesmum did not for a moment suggest (if you read what I wrote) that a lightbox would help with grief - I was highlighting its efficacy in helping with dark nights/lack of light.

Check out Rebecca the Lurcher abd Summer Pudding by Andrew Simpson; also my small country living by jeanine mcmullen..all sadly out of print but wonderful stories about lurchers. May be able to get them on Amazon perhaps. I'll check out the book you mention, mollie. thanks [sorry about lack of capitals; bit tired and starting to flag....]

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diane CHEEKY

There is no clear answer OP .... because we are all different. Personally, I love living alone. Adore visitors, but have had enough after 2 days. Adore my DD's ( who I do get to see often at the moment ...but that has not always been the case, due to distances ) but would go mad if they moved back in with me!

It depends on whether one is an introvert or extrovert ..... and the correct definition of that is not how outgoing we are at parties, but actually whether we re-charge batteries quietly by ourselves or with a busy social life. I am an introvert so living alone means I feel happy, confident and rested most of the time and so can really have fun socialising, knowing I am going home to "my space". To be honest, I would not choose to share that space with anyone again (and I was married for a looong time!) Even extroverts can be happy singles if they have adequate recharging opportunity outside the home.

However, some people can be terribly terribly lonely..... so it might be kind to knock on your elderly neighbours door, and see if she might like a little company.

The biggest issue is that the world doesn't really like people, over a certain age, not to be in a couple.

Cheelu I live alone, not through choice, and have done so since Friday 2nd November 2012, definitely the worst day of my life. I absolutely hate it and have never had to live alone previous to that.
Like others I am happy with my own company (I appreciate that sounds contradictory) but only when I choose. Having a single life forced upon you is not to my liking, however, I suppose we have to come to terms with the situation we find ourselves in but if I was given the choice I would not live alone. My grandaughters are 200miles away from me as are all my family except my son now. I dread the evenings returning to an empty, quiet house with no one to talk to or share with and like your neighbour watching TV alone then retiring to an empty bed.
My house used to be filled with so much love and laughter that life is just a total anti climax now. I hope you find it in yourself to enquire if your neighbour would like some company occasionally as there must be a lot of lonely people out there and hopefully she is content but if not you can at least help put a smile back on her face.

DD decided when quite young that she did wanted to stay single and live independently. The reason she gave was that she enjoys her own company and being of a forthright frame of mind she did not have the qualities necessary to make the compromises that living with someone else inevitably involves.

She has lived happily on her own for 15 years with never any desire to change. Since a bad road accident 2 years ago she has also chosen to work from home. She has lots of friends, lots of interests, and is always out and about. At home she enjoys spending time doing DIY, doing sewing and other crafts, and anything else that takes her interest.

I always think the world falls into two groups, those happy in their own company; my daughter, me, my father and those that aren't, DH, my mother, who when left alone feel very much in need of company.

Even after I was married I spent months on my own and both DH and me still spend a lot of time doing our own thing. DH was in the US for while and although my daughters were living at home then, they were so busy with their lives and actually I felt more alone with their (lack of ) company as when I was really on my own.
I am more afraid if being in the company of people who bore me than of being alone.

I much prefer living on my own. I'm not going to say that you never feel lonely but then I've also felt lonely when living in a house full of people.

I lived alone in my earlier years and enjoyed the time but in later years if you can't get out and have health problems that would be different.

There is a difference between living alone, which many people enjoy and being lonely.
If you live alone but have family and friends and interests then I don't see a problem.

I can't imagine what it would be like to be alone at Christmas or New Year.

Spent several years on my own prior to second marriage. Fairly happy with my own company but even after a good evening out with family or friends, going home to an empty house is not nice. Fortunately, had a dog who was always pleased to see me. Did sometimes spend Christmas Eve on my own - it's not that big a deal.

How much angst you feel about being on your own, must depend on how you really feel about your life with the person who currently qualifies you as being in a partnership. Deep thoughts coming up here and I am not sure I want to go there right now.

I spent a number of years really alone after my family left home and before I remarried. It had its good side and it's down side. I quite like my own company and space and sometimes I miss my single days when being in a couple is one person too many! For it to be a really good option it helps to know there are people outside the door you can call on - feeling there is no one in the world for you to talk to is really the saddest, loneliest feeling in the world. And these days neighbours aren't as friendly as they used to be (busy lives etc) but a smile and a hello might be a good start.

I've lived alone for many years and am usually happy and content. I find I do have to be quite proactive in organising things, and seem to do more than my fair share of entertaining, but that can also be the case if you are in a couple. I do have times when I can feel lonely - it's the little things I miss, like just chatting over a coffee first thing in the morning. I enjoy my independence and I probably quite like to have my own way! I must admit that when I see couples arguing in a supermarket over whether to have a tin of tomatoes or a box of washing powder, I feel relieved that I don't have to account to anyone else for the decisions I make. I don't have a lot of money but I like to spend it as I see fit.

living alone has its benefits as well as its drawerbacks, benefits being your free choice of what to do where to go what to eat etc, drawerback is not having someone to share things with, go on holiday with and share days out with but all in all is ok.

Christmas Day to me is now just another day of the week. I have spent the last 2 on my own but not through choice. A friend of mine spent one Christmas Day painting her flat. She did not want to come to my house for lunch.

I have been on my own now since 1988 and on the whole I do not mind my own company but just occasionally it would be nice to have coffee brought to me in bed or a friendly face to greet me, apart from my cat's, at the door if I have been out.

I can no longer drive in the dusk or dark because of major eyesight problems so that does restrict me now as I could not afford a taxi every trip.

It is nice to be able to have a bunch of grapes and an apple for supper rather than worry about catering for somebody else as well.

I think as it is a reality for many of us we do have to consider our feelings both about being on our own and how others on their own may wish to be considered. Sometimes it is lonelier to be "included" in another family's celebrations than to do your own thing at home, because it reinforces the realisation that you are alone, We are all different and when people "insist" that someone is not alone, e.g. at Christmas it is not really saying much for the other 364 days of the year is it? Let's be clear that alone is not the same thing as lonely - added to which, a person can be "lonely" in a loveless or abusive relationship or where illness such as dementia has changed things altogether.
PS to you and to all who are alone not by choice

I've lived contentedly alone for the past 24 years, and through a coupoe of periods before that: It's fine. Whisper it - it's OK to be selfish, and to live as YOU want to live and do what YOU want to do when you live on your Tod.

Of course, doing what you want to do can encompass charitable acts, perhaps voluntary work for others -- but when the front door is closed it's your life and your time...

And I remain on good terms with the surviving ladies of my past, by the way.