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Photos of my children to send to grandparents - would you be offended

(39 Posts)
redblue Thu 14-Mar-13 17:02:58

Depending on your point of view you might be amused by this query or you might have strong feelings - in which case I want to hear the strong feelings!
I took my two children under the age of 4 to sainsburys to do the shop and decided to try to copy photos I had taken January - March 2013 onto a CD rom disc 3 times to send to my husbands parents (mother & her partner and separately his father and then separately his gran). They all live a long way away (3-4 hours in the car) so we don't see them often
Being slightly distracted by keeping my children in check, and because the process of producing 3 CD roms at the instore timpsons was going to take a while for the photos to copy, I just pressed "copy all photos". Getting the 3 lots of CD roms home I note to my slight horror that whilst most of the photos are innocent and fine the first one is of both of my children standing up in the bath and the picture displays their "whole" bodies - ! nothing whatsoever of alarm to me but to grandparents who don't see them often I think this might be a bit "too much information" so to speak!
I have tried to delete the single offending photo in question from each of the 3 discs but it says to my frustration that the discs are "read only" and I cannot delete it. - grrr, I am now thinking I have three discs I cannot risk sending because one of the photos contains a bit too much nakedness although they are just standing there smiling at the camera it is not the sort of thing my husbands grandma, and separately his mother or father would want to see
I am thinking of chalking it up to experience and keeping the discs for my own records and maybe in a month or two just trying to go to boots on my own to print one or two photos to send instead. What do you think? would you be offended if you rarely saw your grandchildren and then you were sent a cd rom of photos one of which had an "in the bath" picture as described? honest answers are what i am looking for. My children are girl 4 yrs boy coming up for 3 years - thanks

Nonu Thu 14-Mar-13 17:08:50

Get them re-done , if g/parents don"t see them too much might not be appreciated .

Faces are better anyway , with gorgeous beaming smiles they can show off to all their friends . Good Luck . smile

Movedalot Thu 14-Mar-13 17:09:16

I think it quite likely that the granparents won't blink an eye at photos of naked small children. It is only in the last few years that everyone has got so sensitive about such things. My children used to play naked on the beach.

Have any of them got a computer? If so you could email the pictures you want to send to them. works for us.

redblue Thu 14-Mar-13 17:10:58

thank you for this advice this is just what I needed - a view from outside
thank you for posting

Mishap Thu 14-Mar-13 17:13:48

Send the discs - good heavens, how could they possibly mind!? I have dozens of naked pics of my GC. We are all getting to sensitive about these things.

I am assuming the people to whom you are sending these are unlikely to put them on the internet.

Just do it - send the darn things!!

redblue Thu 14-Mar-13 17:16:09

zero chance they will put them on the internet or anything like that - they will only look at them on their home computers and nothing more
just not sure what they will think of the nakedness

i have tried to change the security settings so i can delete but it wont let me - maybe someone at home might know how to do it for me and I can solve it that way

Movedalot Thu 14-Mar-13 17:17:44

Once they have been formatted you can't add or change them so don't even bother trying.

Nonu Thu 14-Mar-13 17:27:08

Redblue , it is obviously something that is giving you a slight cause for concern . Hence your post . You know the people concerned better than any G/Netter so go with your gut feeling .


whenim64 Thu 14-Mar-13 17:27:34

Send those lovely photos of your children - explain if you feel you want them to know that you couldn't edit them, but in the safe and secure setting of a protective family, why should you have to behave differently? The photos were taken in all innocence and should be perceived in that way by the grandparents.

Bags Thu 14-Mar-13 17:35:49

My mum took pics of two of my kids naked in her garden (standing on stools looking over the garden fence at what the neighbours were up to). She sent them to me with the comment: "Peaches!"

Bags Thu 14-Mar-13 17:36:34

Similar ages to your two.

POGS Thu 14-Mar-13 17:39:30

I don't know your situation but I too would not bat an eye lid. I have photos of my GD in the bath. I think it is a shame that today such a natural photo can be deamed as inappropriate but I understand how this all has come about. Nobody has a bath with their clothes on for heavens sake.

If 'YOU' think they might be offended, ask them, simple. The fact you have to ask obviously is a tale tale sign you have serious concerns that you do not know them well enough to just know what to do. Tell them you would love to send them some photos but one is of them in the bath and obviously they have no clothes on. You will get the answer from the horses mouth and you cannot go wrong. I would hazard a guess even the call from you will be most welcomed as any contact from our children is a joy.

We are all different and you are I am sure the best person to determine their 'sensitivities', if they have any at all. One thing is for sure. If they are upset by a photo of their DGC in such a photo you will know not what to disclose when they are growing up when things can really get tricky. grin
Good luck.

redblue Thu 14-Mar-13 17:46:13

thank you pogs - and thank you everyone. of course it depends on the relationships here and i realise only so much can be relied upon by other peoples comments.
I confess am a bit desperate not to offend my inlaws
I could send one set to my parents as they will not even register the point
However I am nervous about offending MIL and i dont want to do the wrong thing
I think I will just get some of the better ones printed and send them later in the year and make sure i dont try to multi task (i.e. get photos copied onto a disc without 100% concentrating!) with my little ones too much in the future!!

Nonu Thu 14-Mar-13 17:50:41

Nice to hear from you Redblue , you will take the right decision for you I am sure .


Galen Thu 14-Mar-13 18:13:32

I've got a lovely one of my DGD in the bath, clutching her new stripes WELLIES,
She wouldn't be parted from themgrin

soop Thu 14-Mar-13 18:22:36

I've photos of my sons [as a wee children] wearing nothing but a sunhat. They are natural, charming and beautiful.

redblue the response from Nonu is sound.

POGS Thu 14-Mar-13 18:44:25


You sound a very nice person. It can be a tricky path to please everybody all of the time, you have sorted it out for the best I am sure.


Gorki Thu 14-Mar-13 19:17:33

I would just send them with a covering note to explain what happened.I frequently see my grandchildren naked but even if I didn't, photos of them in the bath certainly would not offend.I think our generation is more liberal than yours in this respect.

Grindos Thu 14-Mar-13 19:21:20

Hi redblue, I can't imagine grandparents being offended by seeing lovely pictures of young children in the bath. I agree with you, send the complete set to your own parents, and maybe ask them what they think. If they say send them on to the others, then do. If they think there's a chance off upsetting them, then don't.

Bags Thu 14-Mar-13 19:31:58

Have you asked the children's dad what he thinks?

Bags Thu 14-Mar-13 19:33:40

Just thinking.... if you do it as a 'team', you'd maybe need to worry less.

Greatnan Thu 14-Mar-13 19:48:58

I have lovely photos of my various grandchildren in different states of undress when they were toddlers - in the bath, at the beach, in the has never crossed my mind to find them offensive.
However, as has been said, you know the grandparents best and asking them seems to be a good idea.
I feel that anybody who finds a child's naked body offensive (particular a family member) has a problem themselves.

Greatnan Thu 14-Mar-13 20:00:49

I have just asked my very wise daughter about this, and she said she would not send them abroad as customs open every packet here and they might think they were indecent. She also pointed out that the grandparents should be warned not to post them on a public page of the internet, as paedophiles do trawl the net looking for 'innocent' photos.

numberplease Thu 14-Mar-13 21:09:09

I`d send them, photos of my grandchildren with nothing on wouldn`t bother me, what`s to bother about?
But then again, the other week I was minding my 4 year old grandson at our house, and got him undressed and into his pyjamas for when his mum and dad came to pick him up, and as he took his underpants off, he laughed and said "Oh, put it away, put it away", when I asked who said that, he said "Nanny", so maybe some folk do mind?

grannyactivist Fri 15-Mar-13 00:37:40

How sad it is that this question is even being asked. sad It reminds me of a brand new adoptive dad telling me wistfully that he'd imagined bathing his children, but 'of course' he wouldn't be doing that with his newly placed children (both toddlers) - and his tears of delight and relief when I told him to go right ahead.
redblue I would send the CD's with a covering letter saying that one of the photo's shows the children in the bath and explain how you came to copy it - and then I would leave it to them what they decide to do with the CD. If they choose to be offended then hopefully you'll never know.