visits not allowed

gillybob, you are very lucky to have a naturally close family, both in the emotional and the physical sense, and it seems to suit you fine. That's good. But not all families are the same and there is nothing wrong with the differences if people get along in a civilised way.

I am emotionally close to my daughter but not physically close. That limits things but it does not damage our relationship or the relationship I have with my grandsons and my son in law.

www.gransnet.com/forums/ask_a_gran/a1209898-No-visits-allowed

This is the other thread if anyone is interested.

Yes. We know. Thank you, however, for your excellent searching expertise.

No need, was my pleasure.

I think that if family live nearer, it is reasonable to in the first instance at least, to expect to see a bit more of them?

Or does it make no difference to some whether they say live 45 minutes away or 4 hours away?

The desired outcome here is that lizzy and her young family should find some way of getting along that suits both - all families have different levels of closeness and it is very hard when these do not coincide and one side is feeling under pressure and the other is feeling aggrieved.

There are lots of years ahead to enjoy your GC and trying to get it right at this stage is critical to that future happiness. Tread with care and be aware that they ARE good parents, even if they do things differently from how you might wish.

Thank you RedheadedMommy.
I can be a lazy/not have time occasionally/struggles with the search facility gransnetter sometimes.

The thread has more detail. Will read later.

Will you really bother soon?!

I am always a little suspicious of those amongst us who seem to delight in hunting out old threads from way back just so they can nitpick over them in the faint hope that they can "trip someone up" on something they may or may not have said in the past. I couldn't be bothered.

Lizzyr herself volunteered the information that she'd posted last August on the same subject.

Hardly 'hunting out' an old thread - you only have to put the name in the search box...

At least if you have more background information, some assumptions can be avoided.

I didn't hunt anything.
I simply found the thread that a few people had mentioned and copied and pasted the link.
It gives more background to thend current thread.

It took seconds.

On the linked thread you were saying, when your gs was 2 weeks old, that you didnt want to see or visit your gs as you didnt feel that you had one. To me, that seems an overreaction on your part

On the other hand on there, you say that your dil has been posting pxxx off messages to people. From that thread as a whole, your dil sounds like she may be a bit difficult.

On there you said that you have been civil to each other up to that point.
I think that that is commendable.
I appreciate that being civil may be difficult.
But I think that that is the way to go.
To be fair to her, if she is difficult then the fact that you have seen your gs 4 times since christmas, may indicate that she has been putting in a lot of effort.

I agree with what bags says, you can be close without living in each others pockets. I see DS and GC at least once a week and DD about once every couple of months because of her living and working abroad, but when we do meet up it is as if it were yesterday.
When first GC was born I asked if we could visit on a Sunday every week and it was agreed subject to holidays and other things. It started off with us giving the new Mum a chance to get her head down for an hour and when baby was teething we would take over the walking the floor to give them a break. GPs are useful back-up but it is the parents who dictate what must be done and how it is done. I have never thought of myself as a second mummy and I am always happy to wave them off at the end of the day

See - I think we're overdoing it now.

But you carry on. lizzyr probably gave up reading long ago.

I agree jings getting bored now. [yawn emoticon]

Must get some work done. End of tax year and all that very boring stuff.

oh look its time for and

How amazing that the daddy is able to have the baby with him while he works!

Oh I'm so glad someone said it (*jings*). This pudding has been well and truly egged to death...

jings has spoken - cease discussing this forthwith!