So confused and Angry

As all has gone quiet now, I sort of wonder if this and its sister correspondence was all a concerted action by "the other place" to wind up us Grannies

Hi ladies
I hope you are all well and enjoying the joys of grandparenting!

Two things here, some posters objected to being called 'ladies' on another thread (I notice the grandads are keeping well out of it, very sensible of them) but no-one has picked up this OP on it, we're too polite

Yes, I was enjoying the joys of grandparenting until I read this thread.
Now I am beginning to wonder if I am intruding/rude/taking over/doing things differently from DIL's mother/ etc etc etc.


ps Littlepig66 hope you enjoyed all the conflicting advice on here and the previous thread
If you are working in Spain does that mean you are fully bilingual? Or are you TEFL, TESOL or CELTA?
You seem to be working very long hours as Spanish schools generally finish at 14:00 hours and Spanish schoolchildren have ten weeks summer holidays, so plenty of time off then; one week to put up with the in-laws and nine to recover!
Must be lovely to live there

If it were me I would not want them in the house while I was at work. I would reply to them saying what a pity they cannot comein the holidays , here is a list of hotels they can stay in and you can get together at the weekends.

I can't read all the whole thread, so someone might have suggested this already.......

On a practical level, can you do extra cooking ahead? Like making bolognaise for 8, eating 2 portions and freezing the rest for when your guests expect to be fed? Double cake making; fill the oven to the max beforehand, so you have less to do for them come the hour!!

I would HATE this situation, and thank goodness you will be at work for most of the time, but don't let it spoil your relationship with your husband. When all is said and done, they ARE his parents, and you must not let them create a wedge between you.

Best of luck...... b-r-e-a-t-h-e..............

Alea......We're of the same suspicious mind .
I read this as a wind up too...and possibly from 'the other place'....?

I am lurking here in the bushes rosequartz and I did notice the Hello ladies, I just felt that it was too soon after the last argument discussion to point it out.

I have kept quiet on this thread for two reasons:
1, I didn't feel that I had anything useful to contribute and
2, I too felt that there was something more to this than we were seeing on the surface.

I think it's a pity that the site does not show a count of messages posted alongside each users name - that would immediately identify newcomers which in turn would help to identify the "wind-ups".

The dissenters appear to be in the minority. 19.02 post from yesterday has been deleted. Poster had pointed out, quite rightly I thought, that the OP, if indeed she were a teacher, used very poor sentence construction. If she teaches small children her Spanish would be perfect, or as near as, and one would expect, therefore, her mother tongue to be ... well, better expressed than it has been. I think, too, that this is a wind up, which is sad because so many of us took the trouble to give her sensible advice, according to our own thoughts. Why do people do this ( if what a few of us think is what has happened here ?). Excuse my own disjointed and badly constructed mutterings, but I've only just woken up after a mainly sleepless night.

I can't see what possible justification there was for that deletion. I wonder if OP was getting hot under the collar because she felt we were sceptical?
The initial rant was perhaps understandable (as in "Oh God, not the in-laws for a whole week") but the ramifications, convolutions extra layers of back story and apparent indifference to lots of practical suggestions sounded like someone who wanted to keep the thread going lost past its sell-by. When you get a load of people you have never heard of before joining in the MIL bashing, well, I know what I think and there will be those who agree and those who don't.

A whole week and she will be out from before 8 am until after 5 pm (even though Spanish schools finish hours before that) so what is all the fuss about? Hmmmmm

I did say perhaps, Nonnie, #beingcharitable

Alea sorry I was responding to Luckygirls post of Tue 20-Oct-15 18:38:34. Misunderstanding, not yours. Should have made that clear.

I have read some, but not all of the comments on this thread, 8 pages of advice, poor woman you must be confused! But just thought I'd add my thoughts; can you not just tell your in-laws you are no longer prepared to put up with their aggression (even if it is passive aggression) and that if they are visiting your house then they abide by your rules. If they want to eat when you are out then they feed themselves, and clear up after themselves! Your husband should support you in this, if he is a mummy's boy then it's time he realised that his main loyalty is now with his wife and child who rely on him. If he's not a mummy's boy and is considered to be a reasonable man then is it possible that you have blown things up in your mind? And that the in-laws are not quite as bad as you portray them? Either way it's time to talk to your in-laws telling them exactly how you feel. Good Luck!

It is horrid having someone you do not like and who bullies you in your own home. I know - I had to have my FIL here for months when he messed up on his housing (too complicated to explain). I had to find him somewhere else to live and present him with a fait a complit, or he would have stayed for the rest of our lives! I hated it all.

I am lurking here in the bushes rosequartz
I did notice you, lefthanded and gave a surreptitious wave (is that spelt correctly - I should ask DD or her friends who teach English as a foreign language in Spain - yes, really!!)
I am sure they would be rofl or throwing up their hands in horror at some of littlepig's posts. Of course, I think that if one is typing in haste one could be forgiven the odd error. Perhaps the baby needed attention.

I'm not sure why you think Spanish schools finish very early Nonnie. My GS's in Spain start at 9am and finish at 5pm and that is a local school not a private one.

You could always "treat" them to a holiday home nearby. That way you could visit them on your own terms. I do sympathise as I get manipulated by my MIL and fall over backwards for my DIL. My fault. I should be more assertive but we are all victims of our upbringings.

tiggy I thought that because I read the thread and someone stated it as a fact. I know nothing about Spanish schools so deferred to someone who seemed to.

Help, it was me! I looked on the internet, I think the school hours vary a lot.

The school day at secondary schools is normally longer than at primary schools, running from 08:30-15:00 or 09:00-15:00, but as with primary schools times may vary greatly from place to place.

9-5 does seem a very long school day, tiggypiro, not that I doubt you! Do they have a long break at lunchtime?

Just found this on the internet, so have answered my own question!

Spanish school hours depend on each type of school. Some may run from 9 am through 5 pm with a two hour lunch break. Other schools may begin at 9 and end at 2 pm, the typical lunch time in Spain. Some schools may have only a one hour lunch break and may or may not provide a cafeteria for children to eat at the school.

But the OP said 8-5?

Is this personal nonnie? Its beginning to feel like you have it in for this poster. She's let off steam, been given sage advice from experienced Grans, surely there's no need for this nitpicking approach? I hope the OP has gone away with the answers she needed and good luck to her.

Jane no of course it isn't. It is based upon analyses of what she says and life experience. Is what you are saying to me personal? I note you didn't answer my question.

Its beginning to feel like you have it in for this poster

I think some people (not just one or two) have been querying the veracity of the OP and whether or not it is a wind-up from 'the other side' Jane10

Why would the other side try to wind us up? Everything this person has said sounds authentic. My thinking is that more is being read into it than is actually there. I suppose people will read into it what they want to see. Fair enough horses for courses.