Children at weddings, Yes or No?

I know that one reason could be financial and if the bride is on a careful budget it's understandable. However, some venues will come up with a kid's menu fairly cheaply. A friend of ours also hired a play leader for a few hours in between the drinks and food times. I like seeing kids at weddings, it's part of family life . My DGDs then aged five and three and a half attended their great grandmother's funeral.

granny23 what a delightful photo,

Lovely photo' *granny23," they all look very happy!

Yes, lovely photo, g23.

I favour them being there - I know they might squeak if they are little, but the event is not a performance. It is an opportunity for a couple to make their vows with all the family present.

When my DD1 married (she was the last to do so, in spite of being the first to be born) she already had 3 children and the wedding was lovely. There were big bubble makers and we have lovely photos of the children all chasing these round the grass. They had a children's food table with old-fashioned sweet jars with treats in, a chocolate fountain etc. All the children present were welcomed and were very much central to the proceedings. It was a very lovely day.

I did not want children at my wedding, mainly because I was married in the Registry office and three of my cousins were very young and quite naughty children. It was a shame as another set of relatives could not get babysitters so could not attend. It is a decision that I regret as I feel having children present would have been more natural and created a family atmosphere. My excuse is that I was quite young when I married, 19, and did not really have wise advice , the only guests we had were my parents friends and a few family members so my decision about not having children was the only decision I was able to make, everything else was arranged my my parents.

Luckygirl - your comment about the event not being a performance really resonates with me. I do feel many modern weddings are seen more as a theatrical events that need to be 'perfect' rather that a loving couple declaring their love and commitment to each other surrounded by their nearest and dearest. The idea of a large all embracing family events sounds wonderfully joyous and it would be my choice any day. However, I can also accept that some couples would prefer to tailor their weddings to their own needs and preferences and although it might put several noses out of joint it is their day so perhaps they should be allowed to make that choice. In our family we have had everything from a large child orientated shindig complete with magicians and goody bags for all the children to one couple dashing off to the registry office and grabbing two total strangers as their witnesses. In many ways its a good thing that we can all tie the knot in our own personal ways and not feel the pressure of family and friends who mutter that they would not have done it that way.

Yes let children come to the wedding it does no feel right without them.
This is my daughters wedding the little ones all went for the confetti.

A lovely natural photo of the little ones Nelliemoser!

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nellie all in their posh clothes!

When my former husband and I were getting married we paid for everything ourselves and, therefore, we had to make the budget go a long way. Our guest list comprised parents, siblings, all auntie's and uncle's (both our parents came from large families so that bumped up the numbers considerably) plus our closest friends. We decided that we would not invite any children whatsoever except those belonging to our siblings. They were different as they were our immediate family

It depends who is paying for the wedding, surely? Not everyone has a lot of money and want to invite their close friends and family first then after that it's how many more 'heads' can you afford to invite!

We got married over 40 yrs ago and I had to pay for my own wedding. Having saved up for a long time, I had to pay for all of the wedding costs apart from my dress which my lovely ma-in-law paid for (£20 in the sale!) I had siblings who had children and there were a lot of them! They came to the church but not the wedding breakfast as I just couldn't afford it and you can't invite a select few otherwise it'd be hurt feelings all round. In those days it was a sit-down meal - I don't think anyone did parties/dances/discos or whatever in the evenings in those days!

A difficult one, I agree.

Personally if it came down to the cost I'd dump the friends and stick to family members of all ages. Weddings can be flexible and much more interesting than what seems to be the norm these days. Receptions don't have to be in expensive venues, catering can be organised eg by everyone bringing along different dishes. Weddings can actually be informal and fun! The young seem so unimaginative these days....

Some of the family kids at DSs wedding.

judthepud2 . Lovely!

When my nephew and his then partner got married, their little daughter, then 15 months old, toddled forward while they were taking their vows and sat quietly at their feet. There were a number of other children present, but none quite so cute.

When we got married in 1970 we specified No Children because one of DH's cousins had 3 particularly obnoxious children and it seemed tactful to just have a blanket ban. On the day of the wedding his cousin turned up with her brood saying "I know you said no children but I knew you didn't mean ours" !!!

I say yes, and have never yet been to a wedding where they weren't welcome.

Our DD2 got married at Disney in Florida with only 25 people attending. Every little one ( all girls) was a different Disney Princess and were her bridesmaids. It was a really smashing day .

Great photo *NanaandGrampy! Lovely idea and memories for the little ones.

IT is, of course, the decision of the happy couple. But we LOVE to see children at weddings-isn't that exactly want marriage is about after all?
But parents need to be sensitive and as others have said take them out if they're noisy during the ceremony.
We've been to many weddings in France , such lovely family affairs. Children are a complete part of it, beds/cots available somewhere if needed. They usually go on until the early hours too.
I recall at my French goddaughter's wedding, at the critical moment of the vows, I was "given" a toddler who hardly knew me and I spent the time whispering to her in French and English to keep her entertained while pointing out what was going on and who was there (that I knew she knew) she wriggled but was brilliant and the first moment I could I put her down and we both wandered round. Happy memories

Actually just recalled that after the supervised afternoon creche /playtent DD also had a babysitter available and parents could put kiddies to bed (travel cots) at her MiLs house which was in the grounds of the school where wedding taking place. Kids did not have to be in play area or go to bed..just an option for the parents.

DD is getting married later this year - at the Zoo! Great venue for all the children in the family.

It's the couple's day, & entirely up to them who they invite. That may have consequences with people not being able/refusing to attend though.

Every wedding is so different isn't it? Some people have huge families where inviting all the children would double the numbers. Some people work on very small budgets and have to limit the number of guests and some venues aren't very child friendly.

I know my DD loves being invited to a 'no children' wedding because it means she can leave her children with us and enjoy a relaxing time at the wedding and stay as long as she likes. I have been to weddings where badly behaved children have really spoilt the occasion and to weddings where they have added to it.

It's the privilege of each bride and groom to arrange the wedding of their dreams and, IMO, it's dreadful for other people to fall out with them over their choices.