Children at weddings, Yes or No?

Children from the families involved should be invited. They will remember the event all of their lives and it will make them feel part of the family. Friends' children are different and should be considered on a case by case basis as the cost of catering for them is prohibitive. But they look lovely in the pictures and add life and a sense of the future to what is, after all, an important occasion and milestone.

Maybe the Bride and Groom had a bad experience with misbehaving children at a wedding in the past, let's face it some children can be little terrors, I recently attended my Grandsons wedding and children were invited and behaved beautifully, granted they weren't many of them.
Many years ago I attended a family wedding and my children were not invited but I accepted that as it was their day but I was lucky as I had good babysitters.

I'd like to have children at weddings now but in the 70s when I got married I saw it as a very grown up affair. I had no children.
Soon after, when I had a baby and was invited to a "No Children" wedding of a good friend, I went to the church only, and my tiny baby waited in the car with her daddy.
I didn't feel bad about this and the baby and my husband came to see the happy couple leave the church. I didn't feel bad about it and neither did he. We both understood.
It's THEIR wedding and should be their choice.

My niece married recently and they didn't allow any children. In their letter they said that parents would enjoy a weekend away better without having to leave early to put children to bed. Most of their friends have small children and I think really they just didn't want so many babies and toddlers there. There's a very small number of children in the family - my 2 grandchildren and 3 great nephews of my brother's wife, I think these could have been invited. My granddaughters were upset as they adore weddings and are older so would stay up past my bedtime and would certainly behave.

Haven't read all the replies but I'm wary of children at weddings. Not all of them behave, esp depending on the hour. And unless there is a hired nanny, good luck getting whoever is watching baby to leave the ceremony/reception if baby is crying! I can see making exceptions for a flower girl or close relatives of the bride and groom. But a gaggle of kids? Not unless you're willing to pay for a playroom and someone to watch them.

Mostly, I think it's up to the bride and groom. But it's also up to parents if they choose to decline rather than find a babysitter. No one should take either decision personally, IMO, and there needn't be any rifts over it (I know there are).

Personally, I would say yes, but I think it depends on the bride [not BrideZilla!] and groom.
If they go for the most expensive venue and show-offy wedding, then perhaps no children would be acceptable [just]. Otherwise make it as child friendly as possible and the more the merrier IMHO
When DD got married she invited several children [and her parents] who behave impeccably and had a terrific time. Again, I have seen some dreadful behaviour from horribly spoiled children which did nothing to improve the ceremony or breakfast!

Having been in finance, DH always checks the bill. He usually asks for the "obligatory" tip to be removed, but always leaves a generous tip in cash. When things have been left off, he points it out. If the recipient is rude and never makes mistakes, he doesn't pay - their problem then. BTW I do go out without DH occasionally, but usually for lunch!

PC playing up - sorry, wrong thread

My son is marrying his long-time fiancée this summer. Their two little daughters (6 and 3) will be bridesmaids. My other grandchildren are invited and the bride's young cousins, but not friends' children. This is because of cost and it is exactly what has happened at all their friends' weddings. The rule seems to be family children only.

I spent my youngest daughter's wedding buffet on my feet chasing her 18 month old around. Said GD ran faster than I did and could reach the lift buttons so I had to keep her in sight at all times. It was stressful and I missed half the speeches and most of the meal.

My niece is getting married in August and has said 'no children' . However there will be a big party for children and their parents a week later at which there will be a ceremony in their wedding gear. I am really looking forward to it, especially since I had to opt out of the 'real' wedding as it is too far away for me to get to. This seems a good compromise to me bringing all the grandchildren together at a child friendly venue.

My DS and DDiL specified no children under the age of twelve at their wedding, but children were invited to the evening 'do'.
It seemed a good solution, the children got to dance and enjoy the party, but the wedding itself was peaceful and serene!

I think it should be the choice of the couple getting married. It's their day after all. Some people like adult only dos. There are various reasons why people choose not to have children at their wedding. I did a wedding creche for some friends a few years ago, where I brought lots of things to do whilst the speeches/boring bits went on and that worked well for all concerned. There are companies that do that as a business - but again it's a cost.
What people have to remember is what YOU like and wanted for your wedding isn't necessarily what your children/grandchildren like/want. Each couple has the choice to have their day, their way, whether other people agree or not. If people care about the couple and sharing that day, they should respect their choices.

I just love children at weddings. But it should be truly the couple's choice, surely. It is their big day and nobody elses- even if the parents help with finances.
I was asked to organise both daughter's weddings- but I did everything to THEIR specifications and desires, not mine.

My own daughters wedding in a small registry office was spoilt by a crying toddler.I have attended church weddings where the service was interrupted by the same.
As a mum,I would have never been offended to get a wedding invite which excluded my children,the bride and groom should feel free to invite adults only if that is their wish.
A good compromise would be,no children under a certain age at the service but let them have their fun at the reception,then maybe 7pm,take them home and let the adults have their evening.
A wedding is the bride and grooms special day,and they should be free to plan it without needing to consider which of their ADULT friends and relatives may be offended.

Weddings are important Celebrations linking families etc. There is much to be considered as it can be a busy and long day - evening. I think it is nice to have children as they are part of the family. Obviously the part/ s the children have in the Celebrations need to be considered, both as part of the Event, and from the child's point of view. As the children still need to be Cared for, know what is expected of them and of course have suitable refreshments, toilet breaks, activities etc.

It is the Bride and Groom who are having the Event and Celebration. So obviously they should be Respected as to their wishes, preferences etc. Probably they are in need of much support at such a busy, stressful and exciting time in their life. Remamber it is meant to be a Happy Time of Celebration, not a time to be concerned about the numerous aspects of such an occasion. Enjoy! And create Happy Memories.

My DIL was invited to her cousins wedding who said no children so she didn't go to the wedding but attended the reception in the evening, we looked after dgc overnight she was annoyed as was my son but was not going to cause a row about it as she has a rather large family who she's really close to but she made her point.

He'll be upsetting a lot of people and won't realise it until the wedding is over. Not inviting the family children will cause big problems

Their wedding, their choice. People should not be so touchy and take issue with this, after all it's their day.

It is their wedding, their choice. People should notbe so touchy but they are. Extremely so in some cases. Not worth risking a fallout.

Too many touchy people these days IMO. And of course ALL children these days are the Centre of the Universe

We had a 'no children' wedding 30 years ago. We're both from small families and were the first of our generation to get married, so there were no nieces, nephews or grandchildren (or step-families) to invite. Our families are widespread and my DH's family don't keep in touch much. We could have 50 guests and wanted to share our day with people we knew, so we said adults only would be invited. Cost would have been a problem for some of the families who would be travelling long distances, so this solved that problem. Our special day was spent with the family and friends who meant the most to us - us being me, my DH, my Mum, Dad and FiL.

We had lots of children at both DS and DD's weddings. They, and we, had a great time. One lasting memory at DD's wedding was when we suddenly missed most of the children. Then we heard the giggling. They were under a table, hidden by a floor length tablecloth, with a huge tub of flying saucers - having a great time and socially engaging with children they had never met before. I was just glad I didn't have to take them home with their sugar rush! They hopefully burnt it off at the Ceilidh.

We do not have children. We do not like children. There were only a few children in our families when we got married, and we had nothing to do with them. We excluded children. Our wedding, our rules.

Children are the next generation of any family and of course should be included in any family celebration. My daughters and OH's cousin were bridesmaids at our wedding and the Italian restaurant where we had our wedding breakfast didn't have any problem with laying on a kids' menu for them. Wouldn't have had it any other way.

Of course it's a matter of choice for the bride and groom. However, the nicest weddings I've attended have included children. My five GC came to my niece's wedding seven years ago. Senior GD, then 17, was a grown-up bridesmaid and GD2, 6, was a little bridesmaid who enjoyed every minute. The youngest was 7 months old; he never once complained and, during the disco, bounced up and down in his buggy in perfect time to the music. The bride loves children and now has three of her own.