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Shall we ? Your opinions please

(86 Posts)
BBbevan Wed 08-Jun-16 08:33:57

We have lived in our present house for 40 yrs.We have never particularly liked the area but circumstances, frail parents, children in good schools etc have kept us here.
There is now only my sister in this town and she is thinking of moving
We have just come back from a holiday in N Wales which was quiet and peaceful. Returning and driving down our road we were struck again by the congestion and cars everywhere. Local lanes which we could walk the children along a few years ago are now dangerous rat-runs and every small space is being built upon.
My daughter who lives in W Wales has suggested we move nearer to them. We are in our early 70s. I think we may like to move, but is it a good idea at our age? DH and I are still in reasonable health and quite active.
Your views would be much appreciated.

hildajenniJ Wed 08-Jun-16 08:44:16

I would go. My DH and I are considering moving nearer to our DD when he retires fully. She lives in Glasgow. Neither of us has ever lived in a city and we don't think we could, but I'm willing to give it a go! It might be a good idea as we get older, public transport will be right on the doorstep and all services and amenities will be close at hand. The big plus point would be seeing more of the grandchildren.

Jenty61 Wed 08-Jun-16 08:45:07

yes move while you still able to..I moved 2 years ago after 42 years in the same house ( I was 67) make it easier if you decide to move get a removal company that does all the packing for you ....

J52 Wed 08-Jun-16 08:53:35

Best thing we have done! Move and enjoy the new surroundings.


gettingonabit Wed 08-Jun-16 09:03:51

Yes, you must. smile. Especially to West Wales. It's beautiful, and peaceful. Swansea is not too far, and you can join the M4 by Carmarthen.

Nannylovesshopping Wed 08-Jun-16 09:07:15

Yes, do it, have an adventure together

annsixty Wed 08-Jun-16 09:07:21

Don't think it through too long,you will come up with reasons not to. Your own circumstances sound ideal,you are not leaving things you love behind. N Wales is one of my very favourite places,we had a caravan there for 9 years and in your position I would move in a heartbeat.

GandTea Wed 08-Jun-16 09:09:20

WE have considered moving to be near our daughter who needs aour help quite often. However, she lives in the Midlands and we live in North Essex near the coast.
We have decided to stay put for very similar reason that you wish to move. Where we are is a backwater, little traffic, quiet beaches (if you know where to go) pleasant little villages and a good climate. Evert time we head for the Midlands, the traffic, the density of population, the distance to the sea, these all put us off.
So I would advise you to look for a place you wish to live. As far as finding new friends, we would immediately join a U3A and get involved.

Teetime Wed 08-Jun-16 09:11:15

It sounds like a great adventure - go for it! Good

Bellanonna Wed 08-Jun-16 09:11:29

I think a lot depends on the facilities available locally to where you might move to. You are both in reasonable health but sadly thst will probably change, I would take into consideration how easy it would be to reach the nearest hospital for future outpatient visits. Is there a good bus route within easy reach? Are there activities you could both join that would not involve a long journey? Is your daughter likely to move at all ? If you find an area you think you'd be happy in, go and stay there, get a feel for it. Being near your daughter is a very important factor. A friend of mine recently uprooted from a South London suburb to be near her daughter in the Cotswolds. She is enjoying a happy and active life, involved in the local community, and has never looked back. Give it lots of thought, but go and try it out first. I'm sure your daughter would love to have you nearer and it sounds as though what you are leaving behind you won't muss anyway.

JessM Wed 08-Jun-16 09:13:06

I think it depends on how many friends and relatives you have living near you currently. I moved to Anglesey 3 years ago. When I lived in Milton Keynes I was chronically lonely because I never seemed to meet like minded people.
I have found that Anglesey is a mixed community with English and Welsh speaking populations living amicably together. I have made friends and still have a slight jolt of pleasant surprise when I go out and meet someone I know - which seems to happen most days now.
Property is reasonable and the environment gorgeous..
Shopping is dire but you can catch a train to a big city easily - London 3 hours.
Do please PM me if you would like more info on pros and cons

Greyduster Wed 08-Jun-16 09:16:21

To be near your DD AND in West Wales? What's not to like? We lived there for a couple of years when the children were small and it started a love affair with West Wales. We go back there at every opportunity even though it is a long drive for us now. Go for it! You're not that old yet!

Gagagran Wed 08-Jun-16 09:30:12

We have done it twice! When we both got early retirement in 2003 we moved from Yorkshire 200 miles south to be nearer DS and DD who had both had a baby girl in the previous 12 months. We moved to a village not far from Milton Keynes and loved it. DH was and is a keen cyclist and joined a club and I joined the village WI and a local U3A choir. We had 10 very happy years there and saw lots of the DGC and their parents.

In 2012 DH had a medical emergency (peritonitis) and it brought home to us how we needed to be nearer our family, who had by this time moved again for work promotions - DS first to Germany then back to Essex and DD's partner to the south coast.

After a lot of debate DD persuaded us to up sticks and move near to them on the south coast. I had misgivings about another upheaval but DH was all for it and so we did it and it has worked out wonderfully. We have been able to give lots of support to DD and DGC and are very close to them. I immediately joined the WI and a choir and DH, by now recovered from his operation, joined a cycle club. We love living here and are pretty sure that this is where we will end our days! (I think).

Moving house is hard work and I agree it's best to get a removal firm to do the packing. It is also a good time to de-clutter and get rid of stored rubbish treasured belongings! It is also a good time to really decide what is important about where and how you want to live.Pros and cons list making played a big part in our decision making.

Go for it. It's an adventure and exciting getting to know a new home and area. sunshine

merlotgran Wed 08-Jun-16 09:34:34

We all have one more move left in us!

Go for it.

Charleygirl Wed 08-Jun-16 09:41:07

Make sure first that there is a GP and dentist within a reasonable distance and that the local hospital is not too many miles away. One has to consider the time when you can no longer drive and taxi fares can rack up- ask Alea.

You also want shops nearby and not to be isolated because as others have said, you are fit now, times will change and you do not want to move again when you are less able to do so.

Attractive as the idea may be do not go for a large garden, again failing health makes that a nightmare. I know I am talking years ahead but now is the time to prepare, this will be your last move.

Think about weather also- could you be isolated there if we had snow or heavy rain?

As others have said, if you can go and stay there for a week or so and get a feel of the terrain

granma47 Wed 08-Jun-16 10:16:53

Would you be happy to stay if your DD moved on?

Anniebach Wed 08-Jun-16 10:18:12

Your daughter is the best person to advise you on the area, hospitals, towns, bus routes etc, she uses them , I wish you much happiness

ivy67 Wed 08-Jun-16 10:48:15

yes you most go or you will always regret it moving house is very hard and sometimes all the packing puts you off as soon as you make your mind up to move start sorting out one room at a time packing all the thing you do use

rubysong Wed 08-Jun-16 11:08:30

Yes, go. I would choose somewhere on a bus route as you may not always want to drive. Also think of a property with a downstairs lavatory and the possibility of a downstairs bedroom, should the need arise. Not too much garden and join the WI. You will soon get to know people. Villages are quite welcoming to those who are prepared to get involved.

Christalbee Wed 08-Jun-16 11:10:31

Yes 'Go'. Did it last year and am so pleased, I love it!! Would never go back to London. I have moved closer to my daughter too, so it was double bubble for me. Moving isn't easy, but if you're in good health then it will be worth it.

NotTooOld Wed 08-Jun-16 11:21:35

Sounds great but you should not assume your DD will necessarily stay put. She might say she will but she is young and circumstances may change. Don't rely on buses or local shops. When we moved here there was a shop/PO and a good bus service to the nearest town, now both of these are gone and we are looking to move elsewhere. I'd say consider all the options and remember that nowhere is going to be perfect. I bet you go in the end - good luck!!!

Jaycee5 Wed 08-Jun-16 11:23:37

My mother moved four times in her 80s. The last time at 88. She really amazed me. Now at 92 she is settled somewhere she has her own flat and a reasonable level of support. I would say give it a try. 70 is still relatively young nowadays.

Bluesmum Wed 08-Jun-16 11:26:47

Yes, yes and yes again!, I have several friends who have relocated, mainly to the West Country and they say it is the best thing they have ever done. We have no immediate family, our only son (my step son) emigrated to Australia forty years ago and now lives in Bali. Our surrogate granddaughter is going to live in Switzerland so we are moving from London borough of Bromley to Lincolnshire where I was not ! I am early 70s and DH is 89 this year. You go girl, you won't regret it!

Spindrift Wed 08-Jun-16 11:41:22

My parents decided to move from Anglesey to Prestatyn when they retired, worst move they ever made, I had said to them you have lived in Anglesey all your lives, know everyone around you etc, of course when they moved they knew no-one, my mum had a nervous break down which made my dad decide to move back to Anglesey, of course they couldn't get the lovely home they had before which was set on a hill with a fantastic view over the sea, I don't think either of them were ever really happy again, think hard before you move, put all the pros & cons on a sheet of paper & see which has the most on the list

Emelle Wed 08-Jun-16 12:34:53

We recently sold the house we had lived in for nearly 40 years, for reasons similar to yours and were considering a move nearer to our daughters and grandchildren. We had the good fortune to be able to house sit in the same city giving us time and chance to see if it was what we really wanted to do.
We have enjoyed being here for the last 3 months but it has made us realise that we would prefer to live in a better part of the area we had moved from. We have our own network of friends and activities and to be honest we do feel to be at the beck and call of the family. We have decided to move back. We will only be an hours drive away so will still have plenty of contact with the family and continue to do some childcare but on our terms. This may sound a little bit selfish but we have worked hard all our lives and want to enjoy some time together. Renting temporarily was the best thing we could have done and is definitely worth looking in to.