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Will politics ruin our Christmas?

(89 Posts)
pancakes Wed 30-Nov-16 16:01:56

I've been burying my head in the sand a bit on this but with December beginning tomorrow should probably face my fears. Christmas is to be spent in a big family gathering as usual. But this year I am seriously worried about arguments ruining the whole shebang. Brexit has revealed huge divisions within our family, and created a lot of bitterness which we have tried to heal but I fear it's only plasters over the cracks. My own view is that what's done is done and we are stuck with it whether we like it or not so let's move on. But that's not stopped blame being thrown around along with all sorts of accusations and I worry that it's all so raw a bust-up is unavoidable, especially when a few drinks have been downed. Anyone else in this position? And how can I stop politics from ruining my Christmas?

CarrieTaylor Fri 02-Dec-16 10:04:27

Great post LewLew!

Totally agree too, that discussing religion and/or politics in any social situation is the height of bad form.
The discussions become arguments, then it all becomes personal.

I really hope Pancakes, that you and your family have a wonderful day with nothing to spoil the peace and goodwill.

Lewlew Fri 02-Dec-16 10:17:57

I agree with those who have no one to spend the holidays with when they say you (and we) are lucky to have people around them.

That would be another good point for pancakes to mention to her group ... that there are those who have no one, so why waste a family gathering arguing.

flowers

Synonymous Fri 02-Dec-16 13:03:53

Mercifully I can not even imagine our family having such political discussions as we all think very differently but have a high enough regard for each other not to do so.
Since reading this thread and many others of such ilk I have had a song going through my head which I can remember everyone singing when I was quite young. Do you remember the song "Que sera, sera!" ? I think it was sung then by Doris Day - and probably a good few other singers since too!
I also remember my DGM quoting from Luke 12, part of which goes, "Which of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life" and of course there are many other passages about such things.
Since nobody on earth has the power to change anything then rowing about things is so pointless when we know that it will not make one jot of difference to any situation. Why would you waste such a lovely occasion? Tell them all to desist! hmm

SunnySusie Fri 02-Dec-16 19:18:37

We happily discuss anything that comes up at Christmas and I really enjoy hearing all the different views, regardless of whether I agree with them or not. We all voted Remain except my daughters partner, but he will defend his corner without getting too heated about it. It wouldnt do any good trying to ban any topics with my family, they just go right ahead and say what they think regardless!

M0nica Fri 02-Dec-16 19:46:10

I think we should all avoid celebrating anything at any time unless we know that everyone everywhere is able to share a similar celebration.

Elegran Fri 02-Dec-16 19:58:23

The entire globe would then be doused in perpetual gloom. Better to celebrate all the feasts possible, while wishing and working for the joy to be spread everywhere.

Anan Sat 03-Dec-16 10:26:34

Our children and grandchildren who will all be with us over Christmas are passionate Remainers. Very proud of that!!. The subject is so vital for the future of our grandchildren that it should be debated properly. We have a duty to question the blatant lies of the manipulative Brexiteers. Maybe wait until after Christmas though if there is disagreement.

paddyann Sat 03-Dec-16 16:50:28

politics is just about life,it really bothers me that there are people who say they aren't interested in politics,so they dont care about Hospitals and housing or education or even street lighting and rail contracts..these are the folk who wont vote in council elctions or general elections and then complain the country is a mess.Well discuss it,sort it out in your mind and then go vote for someone who will do what YOU want in these and all other areas of life.Even if its christmas ,it doesn't have to descend into warfare ,but get your opinions out there and if you cant convert the others to your view you should have learned something from theirs .The biggest ,best thing the independence referendum did was create a well informed electorate

pancakes Tue 13-Dec-16 14:26:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rosesarered Tue 13-Dec-16 16:32:08

I think that Monica was using irony.

rosesarered Tue 13-Dec-16 16:34:05

Hope it goes well pancakes ( tell us, after Christmas) tchsmile

Christinefrance Tue 13-Dec-16 18:51:36

It's difficult when people can't agree to disagree. Of course we all have our own opinions but we need to respect those of others as well. I think as MOnica says discussion should be limited on Christmas day and anyone pressing their point should donate to the host's favour ite charity.

LaraGransnet (GNHQ) Thu 15-Dec-16 17:20:56

If anyone has found themselves in this position - family tension over Brexit that threatens to spoil things over Christmas - do let us know. We would love to talk to you further. Email us at [email protected]

stillaliveandkicking Sat 17-Dec-16 20:35:38

I voted out and there will be no arguments over it at Christmas. How bizarre.

stillaliveandkicking Sat 17-Dec-16 20:43:01

Why would anyone at headquarters want to stir things? Even more bizarre. It was a democratic vote!

stillaliveandkicking Sat 17-Dec-16 20:58:17

Oh dear headquarters, I think you've just made a massive booboo.

Ankers Sun 18-Dec-16 07:57:29

I dont think I know anyone in rl who has had a discussion about this since July.

granjura Sun 18-Dec-16 12:06:44

I don't think I know anyone who has NOT had a discussion about this since the vote.

LaraGransnet is asking a perfectly interesting and topical question. I for one am really pleased there are certain members of our family we will not be sharing Christmas with- both on the Brexit or the Trump issue.

Even if we make a deliberate decision NOT to discuss this, not to engage about it, we know that some members of our family would make it impossible to avoid and goad, directly, or indirectly- until we would have to quietly leave- or it woulde become unpleasant. Because, as the article Maisie has posted earlier- there are a lot of very angry and vociferous 'winners' leavers out there- and with views which we just could not ignore (racism- despite them saying that what they are saying is not... and that they are not racist because they know one Mexican or one black man- so there).

granjura Sun 18-Dec-16 12:39:26

For the first time ever, my cousins in the USA did not meet up for Thanks Giving- because they just could not face it as some of them are staunch Trump supporters and have been boasting ever since about how much better their financial portfolio has been since- and how pleased they are they won't have to participate in the cost of healthcare for the poor, and how delighted they have got rid of a Muslim President from Kenya who is an AlQuaida spy ... I couldn't either- as much as I love my cousin and her OH as people. Will probably never meet them again.

jollyg Sun 18-Dec-16 12:48:53

We succucmb to the goading of gransnet, and their posts.

Any post by Cari or whoever will not get a response from me.

I find them demeaning of my intelligence and just sick in engineering more posts from the fora.

Jalima Sun 18-Dec-16 13:08:29

Surely a family can spend Christmas with loved ones without mentioning politics?

If people can't manage to keep their opinions to themselves over what is a time of peace and love without antagonising family members then they are not worth bothering with at any time; they can't be a very loving family.

People should have respect for the views of family members even if they don't agree with them and manage some self-control over the festive period.

shock

Ana Sun 18-Dec-16 13:14:24

Some people just don't seem to be able to help themselves, though, do they? It must be because they're so convinced only their opinion is the right one! hmm

Jalima Sun 18-Dec-16 13:22:49

I think ChristineFrance's idea of a charity box is a good one - all over the festive period!

Any mention of politics and a sum of money (enough to mean something!) has to be put into the box and the culprit is sent off for a long walk on his or her own.

granjura Sun 18-Dec-16 22:48:39

Why would I want to spend precious time with people who could possibly vote for Trump? Life is too short.

BlueBelle Sun 18-Dec-16 23:04:33

I think you would be surprised how many people are even avoiding Family Christmas s because of Brexit Thankfully I m spending it with my eldest daughter and our politics are identical we are both passionate remainers so that will be fine I would have to have a no politics rule if it wasn't the case as I do have strong opinions and couldn't sit quietly on my hands if an arguement started