Does he have a bit on the side?

Well, men can be pretty stupid. When my SiL was cheating, he claimed to be "working in Dublin" when he was actually at a hotel near where he worked in Derby, with a female co-worker. He paid for the room with his Visa card, which appeared with the name and date on the bank statement of his and DD's joint account. Didn't take Sherlock to work that one out. (DD eventually forgave him.)

I certainly wouldn't ask him, as it gives him the opportunity to lie and cover his tracks. I'm afraid a bit of snooping may be needed, to find out what he's up to. It does sound like there is strong grounds for suspicion, particularly if he never buys that sort of thing as a gift for you. Also, men having affairs do seem to change their behaviour either for the better (out of guilt) or the worse (trying to transfer blame somehow to the wife.)

I do hope everything turns out to be completely innocent, but I think you have to prepare for the worst. That way, at least you're ready.

No definitely don't ask he will say it's for you he ll lie through his back teeth and then be 'the victim' of your accusations
It all sounds totally suspicious and the nicness plus the mouth wash really does say it all I think you re doing right to keep Schmum and keep your eyes open and I think you need to be prepared for the worst make your plans ahead ....a cross dresser doesn't need mouthwash by the bucketload
It could be that he had jotted her bra type down while she was in the shower or something so he had an idea as to what she liked Was there a size jotted down ?

This has happened to me, and although there was "evidence", DP tried to manipulate the situation to suit his version of events, either through guilt, or some other reason. I think it's called "minimising"; making out as though it's nothing, really.

However you choose to deal with this, get a plan in place to deal with the eventuality of the situation. Get your ducks in a row, as they'd say on Mumsnet.

Hope you're wrong about things

If he bought the bra for someone surely he would have left the label on in case it didn't fit or wasn't suitable? I always keep those labels on until I'm sure I'm keeping the garment. Isn't it harder to get a refund if the label is off? I'm not certain though.
I still think it could be fou though so be careful what you say! He could be innocent.

Reading a few of the replies on here I can't help thinking that some posters just haven't read the OP's posts properly...

It sounds to me as if someone has described what they would like as a present. As it is lingerie then surely it could be for a daughter/ relative. Do you discuss mutual Christmas presents with each other, or what you are going to buy for family? Why not bring up the subject of presents for family and see if this elicits any response, such as "oh, so & so has asked me for a bra this year." It could be innocent. I do hope so.

....a lacy bra seems an unusual present, though...

OP you'll know if this sort of behaviour is out of character. Sometimes these things are down to nothing more than instinct.

Surely something as personal as a bra would be something you'd buy for yourself, unless....it's for show.

Hmm....

Hands up anyone whose DH has bought a female relative a bra (or any sort of lingerie) for Christmas.

Nothing has been proved yet and until the OP has some clarity, we just don't know.

P.s I would go ape if my DH bought any of my sisters a bra!

The OP has said that she will wait and keep her eyes open for other clues, before saying anything, so there's not much point us speculating.

My last comment was in response to Antonia's suggestion that a bra could be for a female relative!

No 'speculation' from me...

Just wish people would read ALL the posts rather than taking one or or two in isolation and then commenting. You need to get the full picture.

Sorry, my post wasn't aimed at you, just a general comment on the topic.

Apology accepted!

Sorry, but everything I have read would ring alarm bells. Flowers, a meal, bottle of wine? Completely out of character, never mind a fancy bit of lingerie.bought without your knowledge. You mentioned that he was working overtime? Where and with whom? Can you phone him? I do wish you well whatever the outcome.

.

Let's stop adding to this thread now and wait to hear from OP

If I ever cheated on my wife something I could never do, she would know just by looking at me. We know a couple and the wife thought her husband was seeing someone else because he was acting a bit strange and secretly. It turned out he was undergoing treatment for cancer and he did not want to worry his wife. His treatment was successful.

Well said Caretaker, there can be many reasons for changing ones attitude to your loved one.

But women have an inbuilt radar Caretaker because most of us have had it done to us if not in marriage in relationships ...that's all

BB I find it very sad that you say most of us have had it done to us, surly not, some perhaps. Also remember it takes two to tango, so for any man having an affair, so is a woman, does her husband suspect ?

If she exists she may be single and not even know that he is married??

If women's inbuilt radar is so good, she will know he is married.

I agree Wobblybits. I don't think all women (or all men) have been cheated on by their partners. Maybe I've been lucky (or unobservant). I've had my chances though and have never taken them up. It is possible to take responsibility and say no!

Umm, is it possible that he bought it for himself........

Jane thank goodness I'm not a loan voice.
LOL Jay, I once work with a guy, who was caught out by his wife (now ex) for wearing her underwear for work !! We only knew when she made it public knowledge just after she booted him out.

I didn't really mean that to be funny. If he's feeling happier lately it could be that he's resolving something that's been troubling him for a long time.