An past hurt

Yes it seems that we all have a selfish DD or DSD in our lives...that's Step.

As the older wiser person I've now got to the place where I expect nothing and so can cope with the situation better.

Families aye ???

I'm glad now I never had any of my own.

I totally agree to let it go but I also don't buy the ' she may have been busy had her own stress' etc ....If you hear your mum is ill and in hospital you rush to see they are alright however many kids you have or unless geography gets in the way then you phone or text until you know they are out of trouble it's lazy selfish and uncaring to just carry on and I do think many kids are
Just recently I was unwell and needed some hospital A and E treatment although I was quite able to get there by bus my daughter who lives near insisted on taking me early Sunday and again Monday morning she has a stressful life but wouldn't dream of letting me go alone ( likewise I wouldn't her) my two children who live away messaged everyday to get' bulletins' until I was ok
So even if the daughter couldn't get there I d have expected phone 'check ups' but as everyone has said too much water under the bridge now it would have been better to tell her how disappointed and uncared for you felt nearer the time

That's great Bluebelle that your children were so attentive. But how does your post help OP I wonder?

Cathy1, could your daughter have been burying her head in the sand . Perhaps she thought if she ignored your illness you would be ok. The fact everything was well in your relationship afterwards could just mean she was frightened of losing you. Not everyone can cope with a crises.

She could well have a significant worry of her own which she was loath to give her mum a hint of. I only later discovered that a family member had had a major stress hanging over them that they didn't tell us about as they know what a big worrier I am. It was kind of them and all was well in the end but I was spared months of worry.

I have almost the opposite situation, although I have always tried to be independant. My daughter and one of my sons frequently take time off work to take me to hospital appointments, despite me saying I am happy to use hospital transport. They say they don't trust me to tell them the truth though I can't think why. The problem is that they feel rather resemtful of their other two brothers who agree with me that I can make other arrangements. They do all turn up when there is a major emergency and all, including some of the grandchildren, lined the corridor at the hospital when I was going to the operating theatre for a triple by-pass. My difficulty is in letting the first two know how much I appreciate them whilst at the same time I do not feel any less for the other two, who have also been loving and helpful on other occasions.

What an awful experience you had, Cathy! So sorry@

As for dd, I think you've gotten lots of good advice here. Just want to add that some people can't deal with illness or seeing loved ones age. Could that be true of dd? That might be another explanation for what happened.

But I agree with those who say no sense in drudging it up now, 2 years later.

Aslemma, I'm not sure if you're irritated with the dd and ds who insist on taking you to hospital appointments or (secretly?) delighted. But if you would really rather go on your own, I think there's a simple solution - just don't tell them when your appointments are and arrange to use hospital transport. Problem solved!

Thanks for everyone's thoughts and opinions!