While visiting our DD we took our 3 year old DGD to a local playbarn as the weather was cold. It was a school day so not overcrowded and all under fives. I keep DGD under my watchful eye at all times and venture in as much as I can so I can join in. On entering a sort of padded football pitch to have a kick around, suddenly there was crying nearby. I saw a child 2-3 curled up in a corner sobbing. I said come on let's find Mummy. Couldn't see anyone looking over. He continued to cry and, at one point, I thought he was going to make himself sick. Another Gran appeared and we both tried to console him while looking out for an adult. He then said Daddy so I said come on then let,s find Daddy. Then a woman appeared who said she was looking after him, I said he's been crying for about 10 minutes.she just walked him away. Later I saw her sitting on a sofa chatting to another woman with her back to a table with 4 children eating their lunches (sandwiches) on their own. I was appalled that she was probably being paid to look after these children and she certainly wasn't. My heart breaks thinking of this little chap enduring this "care" and, of course, he can't tell anyone how miserable he is or why. Should I have done more and, in any case, what?
Newquay you could not have done more, and what you did was exactly right. Children (especially under 4 or 5) in a busy play area should be watched vigilantly whether they are happy or crying. Surely there was a sign up to say this?
Oh yes, and I can think of times when I wasn't "vigilant" enough. Can't everyone?
Seriously.
Or are you all perfect?
Crikey, you lot! Enough already! You're like vultures squabbling over a carcass! Note to self, never start a thread on Gransnet if you want to come out alive.
only one person being OTT here and that's Still Alive. Better safe than sorry - nb Jamie Bulger. I think I would have alerted the management and let them deal with it.
The person in charge of that child might have been suffering from depression or there might be other mitigating circumstances.
Just another speculative option.
We don't know and can't know. Newquay did what she could, and what probably most of us would have done. That's enough.
Jamie Bulger's abduction has nothing, absolutely nothing to do with this.
I think we all feel emotional when we see a child crying and the fact that he was on his own in a public place, made you worry for his safety. If you see it happen again, report it to the manager, then at least, you know you've done something.
Thank you, merlot.
To me the key is that this childminder had her back to the children while they were having lunch. Ok for them to eat on their own, but she should have had her eye on them. Maybe the other woman she was with was taking care of some of these kids, but, imo, she still should have kept an eye on the ones in her care. Sounds to me like she's the kind who does the bare minimum.
Could/should you have done more Newquay? I don't see what more you could have done. The only effective thing would be to talk to the parents, and how could you do that if you don't know them? You did the best you could. Let it go.
Sounds to me like she's the kind who does the bare minimum.
Another assumption to add to the list. 
stillaliveandkicking
Far too many' nothing to do with me/or you/,mind your own business attitudes in the world today Especially where kids are concerned.?
Read the papers ? watch the news?
If you are wrong no harm done.Better that way than'if only'
Catch my drift????????
One person's "judgy" is another person's concerned and responsible.
Just caught up with this thread - Still Alive - you sound absolutely awful!! I know that as the parent of 4 I couldnt watch them all simultaneously and that on occasions one or the other would have tripped or whatever and come to me in tears. They would then have been comforted and patted and sent back off to play when they were ready. NOT IGNORED!! This is shocking and damaging behaviour! Anyone that thinks that this is acceptable is bonkers (in my humble opinion!). I am not saying molly coddle - firm but fair, constant and reassuring. This child is being taught that he is unimportant and of little value. Well done for crushing his self esteem.
Totally agree with the way you acted I/we would acted and felt the same. Good on you.
Oh dear our heart strings are easily tugged. I would be the same, but I do know that some kids are just like that and maybe he does like a cry (sounds harsh I know) my GD has huge tears well up in her eyes and looks as if she may collapse sometimes over something trivial. Maybe the care person knows him well enough to leave him a little while before wading in.
It is so hard to tell with other people's kids, and being paid or not, it amounts to the same thing if he is upset. My GD is starting new school this afternoon due to house move and has expressed loneliness every day for the last month while we waited for a place to be found, she is so excited, but I bet she has good cry when mum leaves.
When kids cry if can be any sort of emotion......we react the same because we hate to see it. A very difficult situation all round.
If it was my Child or Grandchild
I would have welcomed the 'interference' from Newquay and the other gran. It showed kindness towards a small distressed child.
It easy to look the other way.
I can't believe how OTT this thread has become.
The outrage and pinny flapping is hilarious.
Newquay comforted a crying child, made some assumptions regarding its care then asked in the OP if she should have done more.
Personally I don't think there was any more to be done but some of you think there's a major incident of child neglect/abuse going on.
Ridiculous!
For heavens sake, what is wrong with being worried about a small child who is obviously upset? Yes, his carer should have been taking better care of of him, it appears that she was taking no care at all. As Newquay said, this is not a dog being fed, somebody should have been keeping an eye on him.
No way of knowing if the non-carer was a relative, neighbour, friend or paid help, but certainly I would not have been happy to have them looking after any of my family. I used childminders and nurseries for my four children when they were young and my DIL uses them now. We both know that you can't afford to ignore any behaviour that makes you worried or uncomfortable, small children need more loving care than that.
Years ago, I was on a train and witnessed a father literally throw a crying child( about 2 years old) down into his seat with huge and unnecessary force. I did and said nothing and I have never forgotten neither the action of the man nor my failure to do anything. I'd act differently now. At least you did more than me OP - well done. SAAK are you for real or just a GF?
Just found this thread and my concern is slightly different. First I don't think OP over reacted at the time though I think I would have taken the child to the management centre.
Second is that I seem to remember from a recent thread that saak is involved in a child based business and I find this very defensive position worrying. If I 've mis remembered I apologise but can't think what the other thread was so can't check.
Iv not read the whole long thread, but If I had been in the situation described in the original post I would probably have done the same. I would certainly have worried about it afterwards too. I dont think anyone is being judgemental, just concerned for the little child.
Good Lord - a simple request for opinions and it turns into a cat fight. Enough to put me off Gransnet! And yes if you can't beat 'em join 'em so I think she did the right thing in comforting the distressed child. There that's my four pennorth!!
If what mcem remembers is correct then it certainly says something about saak...
Having read a bit more, yes I probably have been guilty of turning my back for a few minutes occasionally, but on returning to find a distressed child and two kind strangers I would have thanked them and picked up the child for a cuddle straight away! And felt guilty!
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