Could/should I have said/done more?

It's by people being nosy that child abuse is uncovered. I would rather someone be nosey and assume things rather than a child be abused.

I don't think you could have done much more except for informing the management.

Either way it's a sad case.

A flash of memory. It was the thread about what interviewers look for in a candidate.
It made an impression because saak posted about not employing anyone who doesn't fit our culture. Once again the thread became rather unpleasant and I think some posts were deleted.

"10 minutes is nothing".
If she is a childminder she needs cover to leave a child out of sight for 10 minutes, especially at such a place but in fact anywhere 10 minutes to a sobbing child is a very long time and how long might it have been had these two ladies not gone to look for his carer.
But I don't see what the OP could have done about it other than what she did. I know many excellent childminders but sadly not all childminders follow the rules.

SAAK likes to post things diametrically opposite to most of those on a thread, to set the cat among the pigeons. She says she is in the childcare industry. I can't believe that in real life she would leave a child crying alone in a corner for any length of time without doing something about it.

"Im also in the childcare industry and employ by the way I see them interact with the kids. It's something you can't get a level or degree in.. Its so simple. I can see it a mile off." stillaliveandkicking Sun 26-Feb-17 21:02:57

That's very interesting Elegran! But be careful, you'll be accused of making "personal attacks "!

Interesting Elegran. I was, obviously wrongly, thinking from the name that Jingl was back!

Not an attack of any kind, personal or not, just a statement of fact which I am sure SAAK would agree with and has hinted at in the past.

That post was in the thread about what people look for when interviewing prospective employees, BTW.

As I said at 11.35.48 that thread did become unpleasant with what some saw as racist undertones. The reference to being part of the chidcare industry was almost incidental.

I noticed that too, mcem

I am reluctant to wade into what is in danger of becoming a contentious thread (!) but I always find that anybody else's child crying really upsetting while my own could be doing their version or World War III on the soermarket floor and I knew they were fine!
I think your reaction was entirely understandable and perhaps would add just one thing, by engaging in conversation with the minder/mum whoever at such an incident, you are at least signalling what you have seen, that you might recognise the person again and that you are aware.
It might make her more careful, or think twice and in the unlikely event of real neglect coming to light, you were a witness.
Nobody is infallible, DD plus a friend plus a nanny who had 4 children between them to keep an eye on managed to "lose" DGS aged 2 in a multi-storey car park for several minutes while the little tinker hid behind one of the pay-on-foot machines. Worst moments of her life, my blood still runs cold.

Well even if it was forgivable to leave a child to cry for a few minutes (occasionally it is appropriate) the fact the carer wasn't alert to strangers talking to the child for several minutes was more worrying! There was time for the OP to have led the child away to danger in that time.

Newquay I think you did what most caring people would have done by trying to find the little boy's parents

stillalive kids in play areas don't usually curl up crying in a corner .... I guess that was the clue to him being unhappy.

"Maybe she was in the toilet, 10 minutes is nothing" !!! Oh come on.
That's a flippant remark .... Again like most grandparents, my GS is never out of my sight when I'm responsible for his care and safety. Neither were my old children. They're too precious and don't recognise danger. But of course you're entitled to your own opinion .....

2-3 should be 'micro managed' think poor Jamie Bulgaria. What an unhelpful reply. 10 minutes is a long long time to a 2 year old. Never take your eyes off a toddler.

Takes a village to raise a child. Pity some don't feel the same.

Oh dear Elegran says a lot.....or not

In answer to the OP's question - No, you weren't being unreasonable at the time. You are being unreasonable by making assumptions, and worse then posting those assumptions on here. The childminder may well have been mortified that the child was upset and said the minimum to cover her embarrassment. I wouldn't even have thought about the children eating at a table without overt adult supervision. There may well have been other adults (the other children's carers) keeping an eye on them. Basically, YOU DON'T KNOW, so shouldn't post your assumptions on a public forum.
I've been to a soft play centre with my GS and, yes, I've been slightly concerned at the apparent lack of supervision, but it is just that apparent. We don't know.
You did the right thing at the time though.

SAAK You are being just as judgemental as anyone else on here. I have not been on GN very long, but long enough to see that on almost every post you seem to go out of your way to be obnoxious.

Maybe the OP guessed the Child's age, but the bottom line here is that the Boy was left alone. If I were looking after a young one like that they would be coming to the toilet with me, it is NEVER ok these days to leave a small child alone like that, Good grief Woman you only have to read the news!

Of course it is ok for the kids to eat their sandwiches at another table, in most cases that is fun and a bit of an adventure, in this case he was upset so in my book very much not ok.
OP I don't think you could have done anymore than you did, good job there are some kind people still around.

Newquay, Like you I like to err on the side of caution, so I probably would have done the same thing. Once the child was reunited with the caregiver however, there was not much else you could have done.
Re: Judging others... Everyone has a right to question and to voice their opinions and concerns...that's exactly what forums like this one are for. Some of you who criticized Newquay of being 'judgmental' may want to ask yourselves if what you said about her wasn't likewise judgmental.

Where small children are concerned it is sometimes necessary to make a judgment to prevent harm. This is really difficult to get right in this sort of situation but I'm sure I would have been just as worried as Newquay.

I hate it when I read 'judgy' comments from people in response to what, to my mind, was a perfectly understandable concern of the OP. As my nan used to say "It's not what you say, it's the way that you say it".

I'm with you you Newquay - a wee child crying is upsetting and 10 minutes is a very long time when you're little.

First we don't know if it was a paid childminder. Secondly he could quite easily have been a child who ran off in a strop to that area and then started crying because he was ignored and don't say rubbish because it has happened to me a few times with my young gd. Thirdly you say 10 mins how do you know it was that long? And last nothing wrong with kids eating and not being watched 24 hours, the other kids will soon shout if attention is needed. Saying all this, the right thing was done, ask if he is ok, wouldn't talk, well has been told not to talk to strangers so I don't think you could or should have done anymore.

I wondered if the child had got in a paddy because he had been told off, perhaps for hurting one of the other children; the woman could even have been the child's mother and was cross with him therefore he was asking for 'Daddy'.
However, I would be keeping an eye on 2-3 year olds all the time, especially when they are eating as they tend to talk, laugh with food in their mouths and could choke.

That aside, years ago I knew someone who was a childminder (her DD was a friend of my DD) and I did notice how cold she was towards the children, including her own, and especially towards one of the little girls whom she child-minded. It did worry me that these children were spending the time between school and being picked up by this woman who was really quite verbally unkind. That was before the days of registered child-minders.
I never knew whether or not to say anything to the mother and we moved soon afterwards but I've not forgotten it.

Whether it was a childminder or a relative, 10 minutes is too long for such a little 'un to be crying alone.

If you are responsible for a child who is upset for that long, and you are aware of it, you need to do something. Even if you're trying a "time out", for him to cool down after a tantrum, it clearly isn't working if the distress goes on so long.

If you are the responsible one and you aren't aware of it, then why aren't you? If the child is that young, 10 minutes away is far too long. A hell of a lot can happen in 10 minutes. Accidents, for a start, but abductions too. Okay, they are rare events, but they do happen. You can't take your eyes off them for that long.

I've got to be honest and admit that I've always applied the above to my own kids and grandkids, but not to other people's children. I've helped lost kids, and I've kept an eye on others who look like they might be on their own, but I've never intervened and given another parent (or childminder) a telling-off for being neglectful. I've thought it but not said it. Cowardice, I'm afraid, and fear of "making a scene."

Wow stillaliveandkicking that's a bit strong, she was doing what any normal person would do when seeing a distressed child.

In this day and age to leave a child under 5 unsupervised is not recommended in my opinion. I won't go into them, but there are so many dangers out there involving young children. I think you were right to be concerned, but don't actually think you could have done anything about it, other than what you did, this behaviour makes my blood boil when it involves the care of toddlers that cannot tell you other than by crying.