I'm new and this is my first post so forgive me if it's in the wrong forum. Does anyone have any advice on how to cope with an over-sensitive husband? He's always been a bit touchy but it's got worse over the years, to the point that the most innocuous comments get misconstrued. If I try to explain or reinterpret the comment he flies into a rage ("are you calling me a liar? I know what I heard!")
Sometimes he mishears, sometimes he misinterprets and sometimes remembers the comment accurately but not the way it was said. Sometimes it's little more than a weak joke that misfires. He plays them all over in his head (especially in the middle of the night) and consequently they become more and exaggerated. Of course everyone has had unkind things said to them once in a while so in among all these (in my opinion) false comments, there will no doubt be a handful of genuinely nasty ones.
It's affecting our social lives because there is hardly a person among friends and the extended family (my side and his) who hasn't upset him at some time or other.
I have suggested on numerous occasions that he should seek help, but he flatly refuses on the grounds that he hasn't done anything wrong to make these people say "such horrible and nasty things" to him. He won't entertain the idea that he might be suffering from depression.
What He does say is that if only I would believe him instead of "siding with them" he would feel a lot better. I would like to support him but I just can't go along with the idea that people are deliberately being nasty - especially when they are friends/family who I know very well.
I might add that he is funny and charming and no one who knows him would guess in a million years that he has all this going on in his head. Only my brother is aware of the problem: we have adult children and they have no idea.
I'm not looking for advice or theories on why he is the way he is. What I'd be very interested to hear is advice on coping strategies, especially from anyone married to a similar sensitive soul. 3 years ago I pushed him to tackle my brother about comments and initially it went well but it has led to us not seeing as much of each other, so I'm reluctant to push for similar conversations with other friends and family. When confronted, my brother was flabbergasted but was happy to hold his hands up and apologise even though he didn't feel he'd ever said anything insulting, My husband seemed to forgive him, but clearly didn't because 3 years on he is still mentioning the original 3 or 4 "insults" plus the feeling now that he doesn't feel welcome in my brother's house - so it's just made it all worse.
It's very frustrating for me but worse for him, as he totally and genuinely believes he's right.
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