New Partner/Old Partner

A few ideas went through my head Whatthehell, but first question is did this not come up (no pun intended) before you got back together, as you say 53 is not old.would he agree to talk to a Dr about it ? Or does he just have no interest whatsoever in the physical side, preffering just the companionship of being together again, if so it would have been good to have been truthful about it to you before you actually get back together , maybe he feared rejection. either way I think he owes you a proper conversation, he shouldn't feel anxious as you sound like a very sensitive thoughtful person . Good luck

Thanks norose for responding. He says there's nothing wrong except for a diminished sex drive but I know that there's more to it than that. The first thing that came to mind for me was prostate trouble but I got my head bitten off for suggesting that.

Oh dear,Whatthehell, it seems like you have a bit of a task on your hands if he is clamming up,if it is prostate problems he would be going to the loo often (but not passing much) my Dad had it ,prognosis is good if you catch it early,but I believe the treatment makes the loving department a bit more difficult for a while. Is he willing to be intimate with you, if you are ok about not going the whole hog!( sorry I'm a bit of a sqemish 64yr old , not used to saying it how it is?)That might give you some indication if he is being entirely truthful with you.I would say you need to probe him a bit more so at least you know where you stand & have your say about the situation

I think you should risk getting your head bitten off again and have an honest talk with him. It's not a good start for a continuing relationship if he can't be open.

In my experience 53 does not equate to lack of sex drive.

Kittylester, I think you're right. Norose, you did make me smile with your honest squeamishness - and yes, you're right, I do need to get him to be more truthful about this

{blush} I had two boys & had many an embarrassing moment making sure they took responsibility!!they still tease me now ! Good luck with your situation xx

Thanks norose, I appreciate it

I refer to my OH as an ostrich and have done so from the first year of marriage

.Half a century on and we are still together.

Men and truth are not happy bedfellows.

aint that the truth jollyg?

40% of forty year olds have problems with impotence. 50 % of fifty year olds and so on. Does he still have early morning erections? May need some medication to help. Suggest chat with GP. Men find it such a difficult area to seek help for . Good luck.

Sorry OP but this is going to sound harsh.

I personally think he sees you as some sort of comfort rug. Has he been "burnt"/rejected in his last relationship? You're the sure thing. He doesn't fancy you, he just wants to lick his wounds.

norose4 , loving your suggestion that the OP should "probe him a bit more" !!!

53? That is not old

Are you sure he has just not managed to find anyone else and is looking towards retirement/old age and someone to look after him?

However, if you love him and are sure he loves you then you need to sort this out and ask him gently what the problem is because it does not seem to be the norm in the re-sparking of a relationship.

Ohhhps Phoenix, yes I see what you mean ?

Whatever he says I would still think the prostate should be the first thing to have looked at - a simple blood test will give a good idea if anything is not right. Our surgery gave the test to men over 50 as a matter of course every so often.

Even if that's the case a man that comes home due to not being able to perform isn't one I'd want.

There are other things in life SAAK and love has many forms and changes for lots of people over the years.

A doormat is not one of them though huh or is it?

An ex is an ex for a reason.

Sometimes the becoming an Ex was a mistake! I have a nephew and his wife who divorced and a few years later remarried and remained so for at the latest count over 30 years and I also know another couple who did the same.

Doesn't sound like it here though Welshwife does it. My friend kicked her long term partner out after 15 years, they got back together after 3 apart and they're great together again. My friend is not on a website stating a huge problem.

The Op is stating a huge problem after 3 months of getting back together.

I see that she is worried and would like to get to the bottom of it all.

I feel for you letting this man back into your life. More grief again though OP? What do you think OP, are you happy?

The definition of madness is repeating the same cycle expecting a different outcome.