Grandsons first birthday present rejected

Forgot to say, that if you look in the local charity shops they will have plenty of nearly New books and large floor jigsaws that are ideal for small children without costing a fortune, not to mention the online book sellers that have really cheap sets of books ideal for bedtime reading with the grandparents. Try to think outside the box, some gifts cost pennies, trips out, offers of babysitting, start a small photo album, even a height chart, we still use ours on our very tall GCs even though they are teenagers, and they love looking at photos of them when very young. Please enjoy your GC and don’t stress about special gifts whilst they are so young.

A nice idea would be to buy a tea set to go along with the kitchen-walker. I bought one of the GSs a bright red and yellow set- teapot, cups, saucers and plates. And you could also add pots and pans. Even at a year old, small children can develop their imaginations and these toys will last for years as they grow. A plea for the poor parents - don't buy toys that flash and play tinny tunes. Eventually they drive the parents crazy but the advantage is that the batteries do run out!

If you had your heart set on a walker how about the very old fashioned little truck with bricks. I know that in our family such a toy was loved by everyone. Essentially it is a toy that grows with the little one and is used for years.

I could be your DIL.
Both my children are still very young and I have had this argument many many times over 4 years where in the end I had to come down hard and say one small present. Anymore than that will be returned to the giver.

I was the one managing mess and clutter. I was the one finding homes for mountains of toys that evidently never got played with and then I was the one who would have to take them to the charity shop.

A one year old won't care. Don't put to much thought and emotion into to it.
Ask them what they need. Books are alway wanted and as a book Lover I always adored them and read to my children every night. My son can tell me who gave him which book because every night I'd say this is from XYZ. But he won't be able to explain who gave him one but if plastic in his toy box.

I think you are taking offence where none is meant, and taking this rather too much to heart. There are lots of other things you could use the voucher for. Two walkers in a small flat is just beyond good sense!

My son is discovering just exactly how much space in his small flat a tiny seventh month old takes up and we have had a conversation about what it's appropriate for me to buy. I have just bought him a 'jumperoo' type thing, but agreed it will stay at my house for when they visit here. Son really has no room for much more than the baby basics.
I can understand that you are disappointed, but try not to let it spoil your enjoyment of the baby's birthday - he will know not, nor care, what you buy.

granofone your DS has been open and honest with you, you should be proud that you have such a good relationship with him. He obviously feels very close to you. Asking you to get something else is very reasonable. Think how much worse it would have been if he had kept quiet and simply 'disappeared' your present because ther wasn't enough room for it. This actually happened to someone I know. The over large present was consigned to the garden shed! I always ask if there is anything they need. One of the best and most lasting presents I have bought is a pretty night light, 5 year old GD is still using it.

Ginny I would like to know which suggestions are text book.

The list works for me, I don’t want to waste my money on gifts my grandchildren don’t want and their parents don’t want to store.

We always ask if there is anything the parents particularly want/need for our DGS. We have put money towards a swing set, along with other GPs. His 3rd birthday is coming up in a few months, we will once again ask if they have anything in mind. He has so many toys as it is, but the favourites come out every week.

I agree with Bluebell. Take her advice.

How about 6 books to be opened at 2 monthly intervals throughout the year?

If I was in your position I would be grateful to be told that something else would be more appropriate. Why would you want to waste your hard earned money on a toy which is unnecessary and would be a nuisance to the parents. Ask them what would be useful and enjoyable for the little one. A set of good picture books, building blocks etc etc.

Also, be pleased that your son has a good relationship with you and did not just accept your gift and then have to pretend how wonderful it was.

Faye’s set of rules is just right for grandparents.
I think you have to be practical and also remember it isn’t a competition. Many of our offspring are living in smaller accommodation than we were at their ages. My son is in the same position, limiting large toys as they just don’t have space. I ask for advice before I start present shopping and because he always takes so long to come back to me with suggestions I threaten a drum kit and get a list of ideas by return.

my grandson is one in a week or so, he adores his "mobile phone" He wasn't well when I babysat yesterday and he sat for ages on my lap playing with it. Normally he crawls around with it in his hand

Try not to be disappointed. I'm sure your son didn't rralise he was hurting your feelings. I always ask the parents (usually the mums, as my sons have little idea.) Both my daughter in laws say (and its true) that children have far too many toys, and space is limited to store them. Could you buy your choice of toy to keep at your house? I have 5 grandchildren, number 6 on the way, and I keep toys and have a tablet and ipad here (for the older ones, if they dont want to bring their own).

'No more big toys' I wish I had a pound for every time I have heard that. It is just practical advice and not to be offended by.

When kids are small it sometimes better to put some money int he piggy bank and just but a small gift, they don't know any difference.

Could you not just give them the voucher

I would open a savings account for him and put money into it for when he goes to uni. Just buy a small gift, most children now days have more than enough toys for a small school.

My much loved late Mama got so fed up with this type of issue when her grandchildren were young that she just sent money (and that was actually cheaper). The hurt inflicted on her by these constant rejections by my thoughtless brother & wife was such that it stayed with her until her dying day (last year). As for me I sponsor animals instead and let the parents buy (why waste my time and money)

Disappointment is understandable but he gave a reasonable reason for not wanting this particular gift. It doesn't sound like it was personal in any way and it shouldn't be an insurmountable disappointment. I'm not really sure why you are so invested in that particular present. It would have been nice to be able to give the child something that big but you can still give him a nice gift that he will like.
Disappointment is just part of life. Your son can't avoid it so there is nothing to do with it but set it aside and move on.

omg they can't possibly find room for that in a 2-bedroom flat! If you really want them to have it, why not offer to keep it at your place to play with when he's there?

Try not to be upset by this, your DS is just being practical and I’m sure he has no idea that he has hurt you.
I always ask first and that way DGC get what they want/need and I don’t waste my money.

I always ask DD what she wants for my DGSs, DGS1 is 8 next month & is into WWE figures, DD has picked up 4 on offer for me to give him (I will pay for them) & I always buy at least 1 book, I have done this since his 1st Christmas. It's not a proper Birthday/Christmas present without book(s).

DGS2 will be 1 in May, DD wants TootToot cars track/cars etc & of course book(s).

I would always ask before buying what they would like toywise , space is often at a premium, also no child needs 2 walkers, ask your DS for other options. Is he aware you have the voucher (I won't ask which store)? There are lots of options, also I usually buy for next age group up as they grow out of toys at that age.

Good luck & please don't see it as competition with other GPs, children love unconditionaly[flowerss]

I am in a similar position as you, my daughter seems particularly strict with me because she can be. I am allowed to buy my grandson preferably 2nd hand stuff as she doesn't want to have too much stuff. I get around it by buying him presents but they stay at my house as I do a lot of babysitting and need activities. For his birthday I am buying him some clothes which she can change if she wants to.

Faye,

Great Rules.

Thanks.