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Daughter asked by boyfriend if she wants a threesome

(58 Posts)
Vik65 Sun 11-Mar-18 20:20:47

My daughter (19) has a boyfriend (22) who lives 400 miles away, she is going to see him next weekend and I have seen a message from him asking her if she wants a three some. I am worried he is forcing her to do things she is not ready for, how do I talk to her about this, she doesn't know I have access to her messages. What do I do?

Jalima1108 Tue 13-Mar-18 13:42:11

whispers quietly ....
perhaps it's a joke between them - perhaps boyfriend has a new dog who likes sleeping on the bed .....
or a cat .....

Oopsadaisy12 Tue 13-Mar-18 14:30:42

?

BlueBelle Tue 13-Mar-18 15:07:39

To those of you who say you would worry ( we all worry always but you have to get it in perspective) can you honestly say that at 19 you knew what your child’s sexlife was like I certainly didn’t My two daughters both left home at 18 one to work in London and one to work overseas I had NO idea whether they were in good bad or destructive relationships I could only hope they remembered what I d taught them and they knew I d be there to pick any pieces up if necessary My son lived at home till he was about 21 but again although I knew his girlfriends I certainly did nt know what they were up to
I left home at 18 to work away from home and my Mum and Dad knew nothing of my sex life Surely you shouldn’t be snooping around to know her business if she needs help she s sure to ask you if you have a good relationship
And of course we always worry I still do but keep it to yourself

Fairydoll2030 Tue 13-Mar-18 16:29:21

Vik65

Have p.m’d you.

Bluegal Tue 13-Mar-18 16:58:52

I think a lot of you are being very harsh on OP. Whether she is right or wrong, she is worried! Vik.... I totally understand your concerns and why you feel apprehensive (and yes I have 'snooped' in the past and I don't feel bad about it at all, although I was more concerned about drugs not experimental sex). As others have said, you really will have to hope she has enough grounding to be able to say NO to anything she is uncomfortable with.

The transition period from child to adult IS very difficult for parents but we have to let them go..........and pray!

Good luck

judypark Tue 13-Mar-18 17:45:27

I by chance discovered my mum reading my diary, which I'd thought was hidden when I was 15, nothing to really hide, just a bit of snogging and who I fancied at the time. Result. I felt totally violated.
I never trusted her after that and became extremely wary about discussing my private life with her.

Grammaretto Tue 13-Mar-18 18:51:57

If she's never given you cause for concern before, I would trust her judgement. She's your DD after all. I'm sure you'll have set a good example. You can't protect them all the time and they have to make their own mistakes. When I was particularly worried , when they were hitchhiking across Europe for example, I used to comfort myself that no news is good news and there was no point in lying awake imagining all the horrors! Maybe we were lucky but they all survived. Now I will be fretting about the GC. Good luck with this crisis.