Inheritance

Not saying that’s what the OP should do . Just what I would do .

There is more to this than meets the eye. I wish the OP would come back and give us some more information.

How old is the disabled son? What are his future prospects? Will he ever be able to live independently? If not, then mum may need the extra money for the right sort of property, or to help out if she cannot work in order to care for him.
If he gets means-tested benefits, a big chunk of capital for him could affect his benefits, so it is best in mum’s hands.

Presumably the grandfather felt his daughter would be the best person to manage the money for the good of the family. It sounds as if it is a significant amount.

If it is just a smallish amount, not really life-changing, then it is lovely if it can be shared around. My dad inherited a sum from his sister. I have no idea how much, but he gave me and my sister £500 each. We were young parents at the time so it was a treat. We did not ask or expect anything, but were very pleased at the time.

I have left a small sum in my will to each of my grandchildren, but the bulk will go to my children to do as they think best.
OP I hope you can sort this out.

You are at the stage in life where you have to think of our future and how you will manage to fund any care needs you may have in 20 years time.

If your son did actually save up and find himself a house, you might give something towards the down payment but nothing at present.

You are supporting 2 people you need your capital to ensure that when you need support you can purchase it or add to anything the state offers. If you are given free care that does not include cleaning the house. You always need some extra to make up for what the state provides.

Your sons will inherit what YOU leave, they have no automatic right to what has been left to you. Will your sons expect to share their inheritance with anyone else?

Put some aside to help them in the future if that's what you want to do, don't let your son pressurise you into sharing it just because he wants a handout. £25 a week is a pitiful contribution - I say that even though it's all my youngest DD can afford to pay me for her rent - I would have been upset if she had expected some of the small inheritance I got from my mother's estate.

I feel you are doing enough and its your money to do as you see fit. My son was paying that when he stayed here with us many moons ago.xx

Sounds to me like he's a scrounging little git who should be kicked out of his cosy nest, and learn that in the real world you have to work to get what you want. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but too many youngsters of today expect to be given everything on a plate - no one said life was easy, and it certainly sounds like you haven't had an easy life, so why should he? He'll appreciate what he has far more if he has to earn it than if it's given to him on demand. Save it for your own needs and if necessary those of your disabled son.

It is over a week since this post appeared and the OP has somewhat disappointingly not come back - perhaps she does not want to give any more information, which is her right, but there are some thoughtful answers, as well as some very forthright comments. It would be nice to know that she appreciates the time taken to answer her - or am I being awkward?

No you are not being awkward. It is frustrating when someone asks for our opinion/advice and then doesn't keep us up to date.

I think it's more of an emotional issue for him. Often it is the gesture that is important and not so much about the money. Did he demand this right away in an arrogant way, or did he at first express some pain about it? Was he close to his grandparents? Oftentimes grandparents don't put their grandchildren in their will but expect that the parent will give a nominal or sentimental gift to the grandchild. Is he a particularly perceptive or sensitive child? Sometimes a disability can make you more aware about matters of the heart. I may be the odd one out here, but I would not judge your son as spoiled, demanding or cheeky. Sometimes children can teach a parent to grow in ways that the parent might not see and in the end that child will be a blessing to you for having the courage to tell you. Look at him as a blessing if you know his overall character has been decent. He's not just wanting this for himself but for his brother as well. Maybe give them a gift and say, "Here. I know your grandfather loved you guys and would've wanted you to have this". It's not about whether he pays a certain amount for rent. I think he wants to feel that the family is cohesive. If they won the lottery, I'm sure they would at least want to give you something right. When there is generosity and cohesive in the family, it's amazing how healing that can be for everyone. Maybe give them an amount that would make you feel blessed in their situation but not more than you could afford . They will always remember it.

The thing about the future is you don't know how long it will be and the fact you have little money you should keep all the money which your father left you.
Finding employment when you are older can be difficult and then there's the heath issue, you never know what is round the corner even if you are well now.
I think your son as a cheek asking for money from you and the fact he only pays you £25 all in is a disgrace.
If he is saving to buy a property and doesn't have enough income coming in tell him to work two jobs and cut down on expenses. We've all had to do it.