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Ideas on how to become motivated!

(56 Posts)
nannychris1 Fri 23-Mar-18 09:58:16

I recently ‘happily’ retired but I’m having difficulty in focusing on going forward. I’ve become very lazy and waste so much time procrastinating. I’m up and having bfast by 7.30 but waste the next two hours slouching in PJ’s reading social media, magazines, etc! I flit from one thing to another and cannot concentrate. ! (I help look after GC at odd times throughout the week which I love).
Any ideas on how to restart my new life would be greatly appreciated.

MawBroon Fri 23-Mar-18 10:00:49

I do my reading in bed, so not much use to you! grin
You could also allow yourself to enjoy this leisure time - you have worked hard enough for it.

kittylester Fri 23-Mar-18 10:02:36

My mum used to say that it was good to have something to hang your week on.

I volunteer on a regular basis and that means that I have to get things done before (or leave it till after!!)

But you are now retired so don't panic!! grin

Luckygirl Fri 23-Mar-18 10:09:36

I agree with Maw - just enjoy the slack time - you deserve it after a lifetime of working. You need to "reframe" it (as the psychologists say) and look upon it as a positive and not a negative to feel guilty about. I say this because I do exactly the same thing - I do not feel bad about it at all! smile

I am sure that you will get going a bit earlier when the sunshine appears and some warmer weather.

I also agree that something to hang the week on is good too - as time passes you will find new things to do and join and your time will have more structure.

Till then - just enjoy!!!

nannychris1 Fri 23-Mar-18 10:21:43

Thanks lovely people, my sensible side is saying relax, you will soon retune but my crazy organised side is saying get up and get doing 😂😂. Love the saying ‘something to hang your week on’ . And with that I had better get dressed!

GracesGranMK2 Fri 23-Mar-18 10:54:47

I think many people do need to find a routine to be comfortable but, once retired spread out what "needs" to be done.

What would you like to use your time for - not what you have to, such as housework, etc. I find if I am under just a bit of extra pressure I get more done. It's noticeable that some - probably more, I feel - people go on working at something even if they don't have to. Very different from having to and does give them a structure.

If you find the answer do let us know.

whitewave Fri 23-Mar-18 10:59:27

Make a list and set a goal that is what I do. But quite honestly “what is life if there is no time to stop and stare”?

Teetime Fri 23-Mar-18 11:00:49

I like to have some structure to my week and some flexibility doesn't always work but in the main I decided on a house chores and appointments day (hair dentist etc) being a Thursday(an Sainsbury delivery) a couple of days for exercise of some kind (golf in my case) and some totally free days Sunday is always kept free in this house. Hanging around in your pjs isn't a sin- you have earned it but I think you probably like having some purpose to some of the days and a sense of achievement. it takes time to get this retirement thing sorted. Most of all enjoy yourself.

wildswan16 Fri 23-Mar-18 11:23:13

I love being lazy. I worked all my life, along with childcare, voluntary work, etc etc. My life was run by time constraints. Now I am retired and on my own I admit to being very lazy and have resisted doing anything which requires me to be somewhere at 10 a.m. or 2.15 p.m. etc. I know I could feel guilty, but I don't. This is "me" time after a lifetime of being there for others. I still love them, they still love me.

I do keep active, walk five or six miles most days, enjoy the outside, go swimming etc. I would only be worried about it if I was sat inside and miserable.

morethan2 Fri 23-Mar-18 11:59:00

I’ve been retired a year next week and feel the same as you. Only this week I decided that rather than wasting my mornings doing exactly what you describe I should get up and do somthing then leaving the afternoons free. The first year has flown by mainly visiting family up north. I had 5holidays (that’ll never happen again, I saved my last 6 months wages so that I could ease myself into retirement) I do have my grandchildren two evenings a week and some weekends so there is somthing to ‘hang my week’ on. I’m now trying to do some decluttering. I’m not doing very well, mostly I’m moving one lot stuff into one place then moving it back again. I was wondering how I fitted it all in, working, grandchildren, housework etc. I have found the answer. I didn’t fit it in. My house is cluttered, messy and well a bit dirty. blush Oh well I best get on with it.

seacliff Fri 23-Mar-18 12:18:00

I am guilty of this too. I still work 2 days a week as I need that structure. I do some occasional voluntary work.

When I should be doing housework, I decide to, say, blitz the kitchen. I set the timer for an hour , and zoom round and see what I can do in that time. Then I can have a cuppa.

sodapop Fri 23-Mar-18 12:31:07

What is it with us women that we feel guilty if we are not working. You say you are newly retired Nannychris so enjoy the hard earned rest for a while whilst you give some thought to the future.
So many things to enjoy now you are not time limited, a good book, coffee with friends, a walk in the country or by the sea, visits to local places of interest.........
Once you have had some time to think there are opportunities to help as a volunteer, learn a new skill, take an OU course. The list is endless but don't try to do too much, you can always add extra activities later.
Good luck and enjoy yourself, you deserve it.

nannychris1 Fri 23-Mar-18 13:00:13

I’m laughing so much at your post Morethan, you’ve described me to perfection!
I have promised myself that once the weather cheers up, I’m getting out for a walk as soon as I wake! Suitably dressed of course 😉

Sazz1006 Fri 23-Mar-18 20:16:42

This is me too! I finished work at Christmas after working for 45 yrs with just a 2 year break to have my boys. I wake up at 7 when hubby brings me a coffee before he goes to work. Listen to radio until 0915 then switch TV on (in bed) watch how to age well or whatever 😂😂. Then it’s Homes under the Hammer which I’m addicted to. I live in a bungalow so I don’t feel bad being in bed- if I lived in a house I’m sure I’d be up!
The weather has been so rubbish since I finished work I’m quite happy at the mo. I do 2 exercise classes a week plus Nordic working but having my 0915 class on Friday is the only day I get out of bed before 10!
All those cupboards I meant to declutter are almost done and I’ve even put my spices in alphabetical order 😂😂
I’m looking to do some voluntary work which involves something outdoors. But all in all I’m quite happy pottering😊

Bathsheba Fri 23-Mar-18 20:36:41

Enjoy your slouching - after all the years of working, this is your prize! In time you will find interests to occupy you, but there's no need to force the issue. Just relax and let it happen.
I retired some years ago now and, like you, would come down in my dressing gown and slob about for a couple of hours. I never felt I could 'start' the day until I was dressed, and I kept putting it off, so my day was getting shorter and shorter! Then a few years ago, I decided enough was enough and started getting dressed as soon as I got up. Now, strangely enough, I feel as if I have much more time grin

Felix2007 Fri 23-Mar-18 20:40:46

That's me too. I work 3 mornings a week with my daughter which is voluntary, but on the other days I will look at social media/Google etc. in my dressing gown and really have to make myself have a shower and get dressed. By that time it's almost time to make lunch and half the day is gone. I do feel a bit guilty, and have so many hobbies, but it's wonderful to be able to please yourself after so many years working for a boss.

farmor51 Fri 23-Mar-18 21:43:41

You do exactly what I do, except I enjoy the freedom. My puppy keeps me on the straight and narrow, and collecting GC'ren from school and looking after them during holidays is enough structure. Have a great retirement!

tassiegran Fri 23-Mar-18 21:44:20

I am just the same - retired last year and don't feel like doing anything that looks like work! I go out for lunch with DH a few times a week - we know all the best value places smile love shopping for clothes, know all the thrift shops and buy on ebay, Look after grandchildren several times a week very tiring! I have told everyone I am having my gap year, good enough for students why shouldn't we oldies have one too! It may turn into more than one gap year though because I am enjoying it so much!

adnil1949 Fri 23-Mar-18 21:49:58

I do exactly the same. My time working I got up at 6am and started work at 7am. So now I love the fact that when I've got up in the morning there is no rush. Sit back and enjoy.

Barmeyoldbat Fri 23-Mar-18 22:12:37

Wildswan, I am pretty much the same as you. Earliest appoint for anything, except the Dr, is 11 a.m. and most days I am outside for a few hours either walking or cycling, even in the snow. A cup of coffee and maybe a bite to eat somewhere sometimes and then back home to do whatever. I feel like. After a lifetime of work it’s great to be able to please myself what I do and when. And by the way, housework is usually done while in my jimjams for an hour or less before I go out.

thecatgrandma Sat 24-Mar-18 08:58:01

There’s bound to be a period of readjustment so it will resolve itself I think. I was the opposite - glad to retire but desperate to still feel ‘useful’. I joined loads of things, but gradually you find your own pattern I think. I still like to be busy, but often that’s because my retired workaholic other half seems content to just sit reading and doing puzzles and watching tv and it drives me crazy. I don’t begrudge it, and by all means enjoy the freedom to do exactly what you like, but I do think it’s aging to give up all structure on life. I like to have my week planned, including ‘days off’, but that’s necessary with looking after grandchildren anyway.

Soniah Sat 24-Mar-18 09:38:16

If you are happy lazing about go for it. I like 'doing' and now try to do only things I like, I still do a bit of work and spend a few weeks dotted through the year running art holidays ( off to Edinburgh soon and later to Croatia) and I love to join in with things in my community. If I don't need to get up for yoga (Mondays), Life Drawing,(Tuesdays) or something else I opften stay in bed listening to the radio, drinking tea and eating breakfast with the cat for company as my husband usually gets up before me. I don't feel guilty as I'm out most evenings at another yoga class, drama group, visiting the theatre, History Soc, WI, Town Hall Action Group, Ukulele practice etc and I have day a month with N Wales Urban Sketchers and another with Strictly Sketchers as well as having our grandson for a weekend every 3 weeks or so and longer in the holidays, walking in the hills or on the beach with my husband and visiting RSPB Conwy, Bodnant gardens and other lovely places. I had an email today from the secretary of a group who want me to run an art workshop which started 'I know you live life in the fast lane . . .' And someone in the drama group said last night after our show 'I don't know how you fit everything in', well it's because I do what I want with people I like when I like and it suits me. You do what suits you!

Omaoma57 Sat 24-Mar-18 09:39:29

I was so glad to read this post! I too am retired and found myself with no goal as such! However i am now working very part time and doing exercise classes and socialising. I have a routine but it is not fixed and can involve GC whenever required plus friends..enjoy...just be...you never know what is around the corner!

Molly10 Sat 24-Mar-18 09:41:13

Enjoy your 2 hours in Pj's reading or searching internet without guilt. That is what retirement is leaving the 9 to 5pm and doing what you want when you want.

When you find your level and recharge your batteries you will organise your time to suit you so just enjoy it...it isn't a crime!

Coconut Sat 24-Mar-18 09:44:50

I think sometimes that you have to go thro this adjustment period and do lots of slobbing around. Then very soon you will get fed up with “ wasting” your days, and that will then motivate you to do “ stuff” ... de clutter your home and life, ladies who lunch, cinema, theatre, walking, travel .... start making a bucket list of what would give you pleasure. Is there an “ over 50 Meet Up” group in your area ? They plan loads of different things and you can dip in and out as you wish, plus make new friends too.