My daughter is 4 months old and my MIL hasn’t been very involved so she doesn’t know her. My MIL was going to watch her while my husband and I were both at work this weekend. At the beginning of the week I texted her and asked if she could come over the day before to get familiar with her as well as give me the opportunity to go over the babies schedule. (( i am the primary caregiving for her and my husband doesn’t really know her daily routine)) I also said that I wanted her to watch the baby at our house, instead of her home this time so that she is in a comfortable environment that she knows . ((( she has not been over to MIL home yet because we haven’t been invited & her boyfriend also smokes and that make me hesitant without going over to see if the house smell like it)))
So this was in the morning. I heard nothing all day until my husband calls me to tell me about his mother calling him crying and going on about me not wanting her to watch the baby. So I told him that I would handle it. So I call her no answer, leave a message and wait.... finally 2-3 hrs later she calls me back. Basically blaming me for her not visiting and that she should be able to watch her grand baby wherever she want to. Saying she has been to everyone else’s home but her’s and how unfair I was being. She finished with if she can’t watch her at her home then I needed to find someone else.
I got very upset because I feel as a new mom that I should be able to make small requests for the first time she watches her? My parenting decision should be respected. I welcome advice but all she was thinking about was what she wanted.
I made a point to explain why and wanting her to be introduced to new environments and the day of my husband would just have time to drop her off no time to get her comfortable. I feel that may cause her to be stressed and extra fussy which has happened in the past.
And all my MIL kept going on and on about how she raise 4 kids and she can take care of her and she would never become familiar and comfortable with her unless she was able to spend time with her. ((( by this point in the conversation I became very frustrated because I felt she wasnt hearing me and what my concerns were. I lost my cool for a minute and said “you have to try to see her, you haven’t tried” and she had an excuse for that too trying to not to bother us. ((( my husband works every day ‘m-f and now the weekend too. All of which she knows as well as knowing I’m home alone a lot of the time taking care of the baby. I don’t think that I should have to reach out every single time to make sure she spends time with her GD!
I guess I’m am looking for perspective...
Am I still feel very disrespected, frustrated, angry, hurt and sad.
The conversation end with me saying I’m sorry it is just not going to work out this weekend I will find someone else. Have a great night.
Her behavior seemed very selfish to me.
I just need some outside perspective. I talked to my mom about it and she was baffled by the behavior and I just outsiders thoughts.
Mamabearchadwick Sun 29-Apr-18 03:47:53
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