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Daughter in law

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Akenside62 Wed 08-Aug-18 04:27:31

I'm having issues already with seeing my granddaughter and she is only 3 weeks old! I live over an hour away from my son and so left my job so I could find part time work and see my granddaughter once a week. To take the pressure off them at weekends. As of yet I'm yet to see her on my day off. Her parents live around the corner and drop in regularly.
I also took time off when she was induced as my son had asked if I would want to be there and I said yes.(not at the birth just later when sect could go in).
We had been waiting around at home for 2 days and when it was close he said he would text. This did not happen. The first we knew was 5hrs after she was born. I was devastated.
My son said it was too emotional and he couldn't ring and yet his wife's family was there and they did not help him to make that call!
This has continued. We've asked to go up and just see her and have a cup of tea but they do not want us to go. Other grandma is there most days and sons wife can't drive we have offered to go but have not been taken up on this.
I'm trying to be patient and not push it but it's really affecting me.
His wife is calling all the shots and he is a loving husband and just goes along with whatever she wants.
She has stopped other things in the past that we hAve tried to do but I honestly didn't think this would happen with the baby.
What can I do,?

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annep Wed 15-Aug-18 19:46:11

Tell me I'm out of order but I think its very risky telling someone she should leave her husband unless you've been asked for your opinion. We cannot put ourselves in her place.

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M0nica Wed 15-Aug-18 19:58:48

Muffin I had a friend who had parents who stayed together for the sake of the children. They did not row. They even still shared a bed, although physical relations had ended - that was part of the problem.

I and my sister stayed with them a few times and the atmosphere was really odd. Each barely acknowledged the other partners existence. Communication was reduced to that necessary for running house and family. It was a bit like staying in a hotel. It did irreparable psychological harm to all of their children.

My sister and I both agreed that in their children's place we would rather our parents separated than lived like this couple did.

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Jalima1108 Wed 15-Aug-18 20:11:48

Tell me I'm out of order but I think its very risky telling someone she should leave her husband unless you've been asked for your opinion.
You're not out of order annep but to tell someone to do so certainly is.

Discussing a similar situation, as M0nica has, or speaking of personal experience, is different - it is helping someone explore options.

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