Where does the time go!

We had little support from our own parents and we want to help our own children

And there you hit the nail right on the head Marydoll !

My parents did nothing to help or support me as a very young single parent and boy could I have done with it. I was very lonely. I vowed that I would NEVER be like them and so I try do everything I can to help and support my own children and grandchildren. Yes, like you we are often taken advantage of but I would rather it that way than the opposite.

I consider myself a busy person. I still do a couple of days p/t paid work e.g. yesterday I was "supplying" at a school for ch with autism.
I look after 4 DGC x 2 week after school & in school holidays. I manage our garden, cook, shop, go for walks with friends, have regular cinema / theatre/ music outings, visit elderly aunt, socialise with longstanding and new friends each week etc etc. But it is after 9:00 on& I am relaxing in bed..

Gillybob I've just read those nasty comments about you. Ignore them. Maybe those posters feel a bit guilty themselves about not doing much to help their own families.
I had such lovely grandparents that I want to be as much like them as I possibly can and help my own family. Sounds like you're being a great role model for your grandchildren too.

gillybob you are doing a grand job with your family??????

I had wonderful grandparents too Jane10 and I loved my maternal grandma very much and still miss her being around . She was/is my role model in life and if I could be a fraction as good a grandma as she was, I would be happy. She looked after my sister and I at every opportunity which enabled my mum and dad to work and “have a social life” away from us children . I just feel sad that my parents didn’t feel the need to pass this on to the next generation. Never mind, we are all different x

gilly.....just be careful and think of your own health and wellbeing. Maybe the parents of the GC need to step up a bit more?

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Och Juggernaut don't worry about it. They are sad creatures. We all know the value of gillybob and how much she's appreciated by her family and her friends here on GN.

The answer is learn to say No, and plan your week so you fit in as much Me time as you want or need. People may protest at first, but they'll get used to it and be pleased to see a happier you.

Whilst I was still at work, thinking how I might fill all those hours when I retired, I thought I'd retake 'O' Level Maths (or whatever it's now called) and also learn Japanese.

Since retiring, of course I've done neither. No time....

Gillybob. Did you have some years to yourself in between your child/ren and now the grandchildren? Have you had any free time?

You had no help from your parents. I admire you for helping your Father, he perhaps was less forthcoming to help you.

I understand your thoughts on childcare.
I had no help with my three boys and thus am committed to my grandchildren, my son is very self centred and would gladly let others do it all. I don't like his ways but love my grandchildren, they won't miss out because of him.

We all do what we can or in some cases what we are allowed to do.
I'd rather be a bit annoyed with my son now and again than have problems accessing my grandchildren.

I am not retired, but I am what you call long term unemployed. I have the occasional stewarding job but that is usually a one off and minimum wage. Apart from that I try and fill my days. I cant think of anything worse then having to stay in and do nothing. Sometimes I am more out than in. I do a lot of volunteering and I go to drama 3 times a week and I go to a couple of over fifties groups. I am messaging you from one now, so there is always something. people who say there isn't must just like to moan. there is always something if you look. I have recently joined a free drama group so money didn't be a barrier either. They are there if you look. Good luck! - BIG COL

I feel so blessed to have loads of free time no after working so hard for over 40 yrs in a stressful occupation. My health suffered but I get by.

My dilemma now is - am I wasting time? I am not really a joiner (until I find something I really like) and my hobbies like reading, crosswords etc are quite sedentary. I like to walk and enjoy pottering in the garden. We go to the cinema, theatre, walks, the odd pub outing etc. I get out and about with OH and my friends and we see family regularly and babysit etc, but I really am guilty of wasting my days doing nothing much! I know I have earned that right, but life (and mobility now we are getting on a bit) is so precious I feel I should be packing as much into my retirement as I can.

I absolutely love days without plans when the biggest decision we have to make is what we are having for dinner.

The days do fly by now but most evenings, although the day has been enjoyable and fun, I don't feel I have achieved much at all. I am quite happy but feeling somewhat guilty for not getting out there more. So many seem very involved in lots of groups, volunteering or regular child care.

I think I have had such a strong work ethic all my life (no choice as a single mother!) that now I am luxuriating in not making decisions or plans.

bigcoll - Apart from that I try and fill my days. I cant think of anything worse then having to stay in and do nothing

Oh dear! I have just written exactly the opposite which is now making me feel slightly guilty again! It's good that we are all different I suppose.