Frequency of visits

It is different for everyone. When my children were young we lived hundreds of miles from my DM and about 75 miles from my MIL and FIL so visits were less frequent than they would have been had we all lived close together. MIL sometimes complained she hadn't seen us for x time and I had to remind her she'd seen us however many times since my last visit too my own DM. Your DD needs to decide what works for her. Your DGD won't love you less by not seeing you every day and they do say absence makes the heart grow fonder.
My own adult children live a long distance from me and I suspect if and when grandchildren come along I won't see them as much as I would like, but I intend to make the most of the times we have together just as I do now.

to not too!

Monica1210 Allow your daughter to live life as she wants not what you expect. Is there nothing else to occupy your time in between the visits? Had you said 5 years not months I could have understood.I had to get used to my family, as many more grans have, with their family moving overseas but the bond is still there be it courtesy of technology Your once a week may be extended if you offer your gran services? Count your blessings and get on with life.

Accept your daughter's suggestion right now with as good a grace as you can muster. She needs time to get used to living away from you with her daughter and time to find out how to be a mum to the child.

If you push for more right now, you risk your DD wanting to see even less of you. You could try asking if she would prefer you to come to her, or the other way round.

It's certainly not too soon to ask about her Christmas plans, but please, however hard it will be, accept what she wants to do.

Think back: can you honestly remember never being annoyed with your DM or MIL when your daughter was a baby? Most of us remember loads of unwanted advice, duty visits etc. etc.

I think a lot depends on how used you become to seeing the grandchildren. My daughter and her children lived with us for several years and when they moved out it felt like I was losing part of me. I still see them 2-3 times a week and we have the little ones to stay over. We see another grandchild about once every 2 weeks and our others less often - maybe once every couple of months, but this has always been the case. I have one child who lives abroad, so I guess one day I may have grandchildren whom I rarely see.

I have 2 Granddaughters who live almost 300 miles away.I saw them for a few hours in August ,when they came to stay with their other Granny here Sadly I don’t have a spare room for them.That was the first time for 18 months. They are both very loving and a pleasure to be with, but it’s hard to get to know them properly in such short bursts.
My other two grandchilvdf

grandchildren do live very near me.now., but I still don’t get to see them that often as both parents work nursing shifts and have to juggle their lives for the children. I would love to see more of all of them, but,sadly not.
There are no rifts between the two families, but I feel I can’t get to know any of my grandchildren properly

I can understand how you feel because my Grand children lived with us for 4 years but you wiilget used to it.

I must be odd. When any of ours have lived with us for any length of time, due to house moves, building work or separation, I have been pleased to see them go.

kitty
I’m sure my mum was glad to see the back of us after 3 x DC and I lived with her for nearly 4 months!
I had no idea

jane, I hope I didn't make it too obvious. It was the one who made wedding cakes at our house that was the giddy limit!! They still come back to see us though!

I’m sure you didn’t kitty.
It only dawned on me what my mother must have gone through when I had DGC of my own to stay, for much shorter periods of time.
They are all coming for Christmas and I’m very excited ?

Enjoy it, jane in the knowledge that they will go home!

We have the whole family staying for a week at Christmas/New Year we are really looking forward to it. But as DH commented yesterday, 'Won't we enjoy the peace and quiet after they have gone?'

Think, after reading several similar posts, you have to go along with what suits your daughter, not what you want. Have you never heard the saying ‘quality over quantity’. It doesn’t matter if you see your grand daughter every day, if it’s not quality time, it won’t make you close. Instead, think up fun things to do with her on the days you will see her, then she will be dying to see you again. After 6 grandchildren, I don’t think there is ever a right way, they are all individuals and enjoy different things. I have made massive mistakes over the years, but thankfully we all manage to rub along nicely. Good luck.