Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

No Idea What To Do Next

(59 Posts)
Lisigp60 Mon 28-Jan-19 21:28:43

I Am Sure Someone Will Know What To Do
Hi folks. I’m a Nanna to two adorable girls GD1 is 11. GD2 is 7. My DS and his partner of over 10 years split a couple of years back. DS has primary custody. Court order is in place. ExDIL gets them every other weekend and half all holidays. ExDIL has moved on and is a new relationship with a violent, drug addicted sociopath who has, on more than one occasion, threatened the lives of my two GD’s, as well as that of my Ex DIL and their new baby. The GD’s love their mother and want to spend time with her and their baby sister, but are terrified of their Mum’s new partner. I have reported this situation to all agencies, but their advice is so impractical for a single Dad, struggling to keep his job and his family’s heads above water. We are due to deliver them into the hands of this evil in 4 days. I simply don’t want to do this but the courts are forcing me to. What do I do?"

Solitaire Tue 29-Jan-19 23:01:05

Lisigp60 my sister in Tennessee is a retired children's services officer and she has verified that your son has every reason to refuse contact between the girls and their mother.
Your 11 year old gd is old enough to be interviewed and her views taken in to account. Police really should not be arresting their father given the serious reasons for stopping contact.
Hope this helps.

Chewbacca Tue 29-Jan-19 23:06:20

Oh agnurse, you do keep on doing that, don't you? Please do try and remember that the laws in Canada are not the same as in the UK. And you have been reminded before.

Namsnanny Tue 29-Jan-19 23:37:53

Lisigp60.....A good point has been made, advice is dependant on which country you live in.

Did you get any support from the Police when you went to talk to them?

Thinking of you all
flowers

Iam64 Wed 30-Jan-19 09:17:34

agnurse not only provides information that is often legally inaccurate, it usually is totally lacking in emotional intelligence or compassion.

GabriellaG54 Wed 30-Jan-19 21:11:22

If your DiL was with your son for 10 years and became addicted to ice within that time whilst also being mother to his 2 children, how and where was she introduced to the stuff and why did your son not notice it/ know about it?
It seems strange that an addiction to a class A drug could go unnoticed.

Solitaire Thu 31-Jan-19 23:17:27

Gabriella it seems that mum became addicted to ice after the breakup, when she met her new abusive partner.

eagleswings Tue 05-Feb-19 06:22:35

Another thought. Your granddaughter's new baby sister is most at risk if her early life is chaotic and abusive. The addicted partner is her father so she doesn't even have the wonderful support of your son. For the sake of that little one who is living daily with those two, I would invite you to approach Social Services without delay. Otherwise your granddaughters will feel responsibility for her beyond their years.

eagleswings Tue 05-Feb-19 06:30:43

Sorry, just seen your reply dated 29th. Do hope your visit to the police was successful and I hope this awful situation is soon resolved for you and your husband. Deep empathy to you both.