my heart broke today....

coloursofus.com/picture-books-about-mixed-race-families/

Your DGD may just need to see herself reflected more in everything around her. It really depends on how everyone around her responds to her. Does she live within a bi-racial family or is she the only family member who has darker skin?
I agree it may not a deep seated angst but maybe an observation that she loves mummy and wants to be her. Neither of my DDs or DGDs look like me or their mothers, we all have very different hair and colouring.
However do not completely dismiss the idea that she has picked up on any negative attitudes somewhere. It would be awful not to acknowledge that and to reassure her.

I wonder if she became aware of her colour from children at nursery or pre-school. Just tell her that many people would like to have skin her colour, and pay a lot of money to be a little darker.

No, I don’t think it is, kwest. Why do you think it is? (Serious question).
Morgana, I cant add to the good advice already given by many other posters.

Our granddaughter is a lovely mix of our daughter and our much loved Indian son in law. Colour has never been an issue. She is aware she looks more like Daddy and his family and proud of that part of her makeup. Perhaps your granddaughter can be encouraged to appreciate her "difference" and how lucky it is to have two identities. In Birmingham it is pretty much the norm now so not given a second thought. It may be more difficult if she doesn't have many mixed race friends. Hope this helps.

I wouldn’t make an issue of it at all, as I think it can give the impression that skin colour is important ( especially as the child may have forgotten all about it by now!)

Lily, what has been said is neither racist nor objectionable but you are. This is certainly not a racist comment so why are you saying it is ? This is clearly a stunning, much loved little boy whose Great Grandma hs chosen to describe as she did.
Niobes remark was not necessary either, why the harshness today ?

There are some good books for children that help with this. Rachel Isadore has done versions of fairy stories with beautiful illustrations of black princesses etc. Then there are books written to give black children confidence. Lots of story books and others like 'Young, Gifted and Black'. I think that they help children of that age. If you just google 'ethnic books' there are some terrific ones including some by people like Fiona Benjamin about having family of different colours.

I have just looked back on this thread. I am shocked that so many have dismissed Niobes comments out of hand. She is Indian, has heard the name Sabu used against her and others as a racist slur. To add 'from the jungle' is also somewhat stereotypical and carries all kinds of negative attitudes for those who have been at the sharp end of racism

If the OP had wanted to draw attention to the type of good looks her DGS has there are many current Indian /Pakistani actors/ celebs that she could have named instead of referring back to films from a more racist/ stereotypical era. "The first Indian actor to make it big in Hollywood Sabu was restricted to stereotypical roles of Indians."

Sorry... meant EV and not OP

Morgana my grandchildren are the same as yours and wanted to be white like mummy. We did all the positive suggestions that have appeared on this posting and constantly told them how beautiful they are and I always say how I wish I had skin like theirs. I do hope you and your family can find positivity with your beautiful grandchild xx

Bit shocked that some of these messages haven't been taken down. Or am I missing ' irony ' perhaps?

Lily, I find your comments quite sad. Why do you feel the need to be so nasty ? Perhaps your life is difficult or you find it hard to express yourself in a kind way but people on this site do not deserve to be spoken to in the way you do.
Please try to be a bit kinder and gentler and you might find that it feels better than angry remarks.p

To highlight what one feels is a racist comment is not sad or nasty. It is part of the governments expectation as part of British values.

As somebody with 1 mixed race brother ....(all rest of us ‘white anglo’s)...don’t you lot get your knickers in a twist. Anything ever derogatory said to my brother and we’d all be in a scrap ..... you’re making a proper fist at an old fashioned scrap playground scrap. It was an ‘unfortunate’ remark to say ‘Sabu from the jungle)....not racist. I’ve lived with and seen racism close up...this isn’t it.

Skin colour is the result of interactions between many genes so your other GC may be fair with several different gene combinations. All the genes involved are found naturally in all ethnicities, it's just that ethnic groups have different proportions of each gene involved. That's why we are all the same species.

I have enjoyed the reactions of teachers, new acquaintances, etc. and we have all had many laughs at the looks on faces of people who see me (pale), my DD (brown) and my DH (pale) together and are introduced as a family. Join in the fun. People who are worth knowing don't worry, they are just curious. Your GS is a person, as are the rest of us. Don't let the odd unfortunate incident worry any of you.

Incidentally, our DD was fostered 40 years ago - many years of amusement for our family!

liking a performer or actor who is part of the BaME community does not stop a person being racist!
Anyone seen Green Book?

I don’t read any comments from Lily. Without fail she is rude and arrogant using her very skewed slant on life to criticise others attempting to undermine them. I can only imagine she is very bitter and unhappy and is hoping to reduce others to the same sad state. IMO she is wasting her vitriol on this site as the majority are open minded and tolerant and able to see through her virtue signalling.

If you do not read her comments how do you know what they are like?

If I might add my two-pennorth (sp?!) I used to work in Papua New Guinea and had a stunning-looking student whose mother was black and father white - she went on to win the title Miss Papua New Guinea.

I always say it’s the person I see not their colour.

he looks like Sabu from the Jungle

That’s one of the most shockingly racists comments I’ve read on here in a very long time. I can’t believe that it hasn’t been deleted by the moderators and that a few other posters are trying to minimise the harm that continued use of such outdated stereotypes can cause.

If she was genuinely comparing him to an actor, she could have simply said ‘Sabu, the famous Indian actor in the 1930’s.’ Why mention the Jungle?

If the poster who wrote this was being genuine, (doubtful) I can only feel incredibly sad for her young relative having to grow up surrounded by such ignorance.

Morgana. (Love your name) I understand your heart breaking, but I beg you not to see too much in this. A four year old will make these statements. It might be that they want curly hair like their sister, or yellow hair like their Aunty, or to be tall like their friend... Unless somebody has said something negative about her beautiful skin colour, don't imagine anything beyond a little girl going through a natural stage of comparing herself to others. Use it to its great advantage of explaining how beautiful her skin colour is and how her mummy used to (still does?) try to get her skin to tan to make it darker! Explain that we all want lovely dark skin and people use fake tan!! Make sure she has some role models, preferably people she knows and not pop stars. Is there a black teacher at her school for example?
Above all try not to make it a bigger issue than it actually is. I believe that she is just going through a natural stage and if it weren't her skin it might have been another feature.
By the way, (I should say I'm white northern European) I used to say to the children I taught when they brought their new black baby brother/sister to see me, "I love black babies so much, I asked God to give me one but he never did." Which elicited little giggles all round.

Some here do not seem to realise that racism is alive and active across the UK in all strata of society.

I have to put myself up ready to be shot at:
Some of the most beautiful children I remember from my teaching days were of mixed race parents. They were truly entrancing. I remember some now, whom I used to look at in Assembly and marvel at God's gift to us of these wonderful children.
They are the way forward. Their unconscious beauty is a lesson to us. Long may it continue.

Chewbacca. Yes! Thank you. I must confess I didn't know what the Sabu reference meant. But your photo is a gift to us! What a beautiful expression and such perfect features! This is just what I mean about the beauty of the children I taught.

(P.S. I find your comments helpful so often - thanks!)