my heart broke today....

EllanVannin. I'm sure you've told him he's extra special and that the boy actor was very handsome indeed! In fact he was beautiful!

show her many different colours and that ALL colours are beautiful but not all the same.

I think there’s a bit of confusion here about the “jungle”. From what I understand, Sabu was the actor who played Mowgli in the film of Rudyard Kipling’s Jungle Book story. Some here have just picked up Sabu and jungle which sounds derogatory.
My husband is Indian and our 5 children and 3 grandchildren have quite a variety of skin and hair colour. Mixed race families are becoming much more common now as others have said.
Interestingly, in India people tend to be very colour conscious with “fair”, meaning paler skinned, being desirable. I know of one case where a child was fairly dark, like his father, and mother, who was quite “fair” discouraged him from being out in the sun as he would get darker.

Grannie says 'I wish I was the same colour as you'

Farmor wrote
"Interestingly, in India people tend to be very colour conscious with “fair”, meaning paler skinned, being desirable. I know of one case where a child was fairly dark, like his father, and mother, who was quite “fair” discouraged him from being out in the sun as he would get darker."
Second son works in an international school in India, and I once asked him if they had any racial problems. they have a huge mix of nationalities.
He had to think for a long time, and eventually said "The fairskinned Indians look down on the dark skinned Indians."

all this sounds like deflection to me!

To get back to the point, wise words from Bluebelle "What you make of it is what she ll make if it".

Jocork A neighbouring family, when I was a child, had 5 red-haired, blue eyed children and one with black hair and brown eyes. In those pre-racist-sensitive days, he was known as Blackie, and was perfectly happy about it. I also had a black doll, which everyone called a N- doll, without any thought of it being racist or nasty. I don't think that I ever connected it, in my mind, to the many black people I saw around Liverpool.
Times and attitudes have changed, but I think that people are over-sensitive about so many things now. I wish that they would stop being insulted on other peoples' behalf. Let them speak out only for themselves if they feel discriminated against. I have some Hindu friends who are mightily amused at some of the idiotic 'racist' hoo-ha that goes on now.

Show no shock, no heartbreak, no sadness to the little girl.

She is what she is, showing she belongs to both parents. She needs to feel proud of her heritage from an early birth, otherwise what is life all about? If another child has commented , it is up to the school/ nursery to help .

As a child I was so proud to be half welsh, living in London. You gd needs to feel the same whether Dad is around or not.

PECS I see you are doing your best to aid and abet Lily65 in persisting with all the comments to posters alleging ‘racism’.
Yes, it is deflection, but on your part not anyone elses!

How about getting back to the OP’s problem, as I am sure we all feel for her and her DD and GDD.

My gd is mixed race our son was white and her mother is black. It didn't worry her when she was young.
When she got into secondary school there were a mixture of black and white students only a few mixed race. She said she didn’t feel she belonged with either of them. She did meet and is still friends with a mixed race girl, but now she has made fri3nds with mostly black people. Has two white friends.

I think there’s a bit of confusion here about the “jungle”. From what I understand, Sabu was the actor who played Mowgli in the film of Rudyard Kipling’s Jungle Book story. Some here have just picked up Sabu and jungle which sounds derogatory.
I think that is the case, Farmor.
And as EllanVannin has told us how old she is, she may well remember that actor.

Morgana I hope no-one has bullied your little DGD at nursery or school, but possibly she is only just beginning to notice that she and Mummy have different coloured skin and there are some suggestions about helping her with the aid of books upthread.

I do remember the front page of National Geographic not long ago - the picture was of twins, one took after their mother and the other after their father.

I can't copy and paste because of copyright but perhaps you can look at the link:
www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2018/04/race-twins-black-white-biggs/

Why so many interpretations of 'Sabu from the Jungle' as a racist slur? the clue is in the capital J - he starred as Mowgli in the Jungle Book.

Tell she is very lucky. Maybe show her some pictures of beautiful people who have skin like hers.

Aged 4, it's doubtful she's been a victim of racism and as others have wisely said, it's far more likely she simply doesn't want to be different to mummy.

I've never heard of Sabu being used in a racist way. Kemosabe I have heard used towards Indians but never Sabu.

EllanVannin your GS sounds beautiful and I'm sorry you were accused of being racist when you're not. It's one of the things that makes my blood boil as when will people realise that being so sensitive you jump on innocent comments keeps racism alive and well. It's when we can talk freely about things without worrying about prickly people it will be a thing of the past.

And yes, before you jump on me, I know racism still exists. Buffybee you said it so well. Good post.

Please try not to be upset. Your four year old granddaughter was stating a fact: that she would like to look like her Mummy, after all, at her age Mummy is the most beautiful and best person in the whole wide world.

Try not to look at this with all the grown-up fears that people will be, or have already been unkind to the child, who I gather isn't the typical pasty faced British person to look at.

As far as the wee one is concerned she was stating a fact, as was my dear school friend who at a similar age, sitting in one end of the bath with her big brother at the other, burst into tears and said, "Mummy, I want to be like bruvver" Mother hecticly explained that boys and girls are different shapes.

lemongrove I did answer the OP before I had seen any of the subsequent posts. I gave a link to some books that might be useful for the child.

The level of ignorance about what is/is not racist is sadly not surprising to me. The unthinking comments from people, who appear to be of white British heritage, show little appreciation of the everyday racism that is the experience of many in the BAME community.

Breeze a person, of Indian heritage, has said she did hear it being used as a racist and abusive term. Are you suggesting she is wrong because you did not hear it?

Not at all. Simply that I could've used it innocently because 'I' had not heard it used before in a racist way. As EllanVannin innocently used it then got jumped on.

I would say ignorant rather than innocent in that case.

It is not unusual for a little girl to want to look like mummy. I think she just needs to be told that she is beautiful and has beauty from her daddy and mummy. Both being so precious to have. X

PECS what a ridiculous comment. EllanVannin was hardly likely to call her own GS a racist name. She was merely describing him as 'beautiful' by comparing him to that actor.

And I'm sorry if my not knowing everything means I'm ignorant. I assume you know and have heard everything.

I grew up on a council estate where there were a lot of words used for people of different races. So no, I'm not ignorant. I just hadn't heard Sabu used in that way before.

That sort of hostility causes racism where there was none. Because people are accused of it when they're not. So then they feel annoyed, so then they can feel racist.

Stop accusing people of racism when it's not intended. It acerbates the problem.

I fail to see what's wrong in describing someone who looks like Sabu

I as surprised at the reaction too EllanVannin. It's exactly the same as saying one of my friends looks like Judy Dench.

It seems your detractors want to make an issue of skin colour and see offence where none is intended.

I also have a mixed race friend who looks very like the actor Sanjeev Bhaskar and it's been discussed with him. Should I be ashamed to compare him to a famous Indian?

It's getting very silly.

Different abusive terms are used in different parts of the country, so it is perfectly possible for someone to not know that something has a different meaning elsewhere and to use them without prejudice.

One example is that there used to be a place on the outskirts of where I live, in which young people with moderate to quite severe mental disability were looked after. It was named after the area where it was situated. Children at my children's school caught on to the name, and if they fell out with a classmate, would say "You should be in XXXX!" or call someone they disliked a XXXX. Anyone from another town would not have been aware of this as a term of abuse.

Exactly Day6 well said. It's getting ridiculous that you can't use 'a person' in a descriptive way without being accused of being racist.

And if you stop and think about it, would EllanVanin have compared her GS to someone she found repulsive because he is of colour?

Get a grip. Stop looking for it when it's not there.