Advice please

Sorry DD is going through this, Worriedgran. I think you've been given some very good advice here, however, and some valuable food for thought has been raised as well. It's hard to explain everything in these posts. As such, I, for one, can't really tell if the HV is being overzealous, has biases against single mums, or if DD isn't being totally straight w/ you. I really hope DD is ok w/ your coming to the next meeting and that you are able to get the time off from work, even if you have to give up some time that you're allowed for illness or whatever. Then you can get a better picture of what's going on.

One other thought... Is it possible you're a little too close to the proverbial forest to see the situation clearly? Could it be, for example, that DD's getting "down" sometimes is really a deep form of depression, as some others have suggested? Whether you get a chance to attend the next meeting or not, please be sure you're being honest w/ yourself about DD's situation. I realize that DD is an adult, and if she declines your offer to be there, you'll have to respect that. But either way, I hope you'll be as objective as possible.

Hopefully, there was some misunderstanding, and/or DD can get a new HV. Just hope, in general, that all turns out well for her and GS.

I was a HV for 11 years before I got a job in Child Protection. HV’s have responsibility for children from birth and have a statutory duty to see children. maxima25 asks why a 3 year old needs to be seen by a HV. This comment astounds me. There could be reasons why your daughter’s HV is concerned but you won’t be privy to that information but if it is a personality clash your DD is within her rights to ask for a different HV and remember she doesn’t have to allow her in the home although that could make the situation worse.

I didn’t have a health visitor come to my house only twice at birth and so many weeks after but that was a long time back None of my children had health visitors calling more than the statutory few times so there must be a big reason why a 3 year old is still having visits

I think that must be the bit we haven’t heard and probably the very bit the whole story hinges on

Health visitors can refer families for extra support. There are 2 different types of referral, Child in Need (CIN) & Child Protection (CP). I would refer many families as CIN but the difference in this case is you can only refer with a parents permission. In some cases you could tell the parent that if they didn’t give permission than that would up the anti. Either way the parent should be told unless it’s going to put a child at further risk. In this case the mum would be aware unless as has been said, we haven’t been told the full story

I do understand your concern but please remember that the safety of your grandchild is paramount!

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Missfoodlove you’ll get more replies if you start a separate thread. This one is about a gran who’s worried about her DD and DGD.

Whoops!!!