You're married and...

A rather awkward situation occurred when after divorce and remarriage, the ex wife's new husband wanted to change his name to her ex husband's name. The ex was rightly indignant and tried to stop it happening. She wanted to ditch the husband yet keep his name! A bit cheeky IMO.

Whats wronv with that?

Lots of women keep their married names after divorce (they may have built a professional qualification or have been published or had children with that name) and if she meets a new husband who wants to take HER current surname, it is absolutely none of het exes business... unless he is a piece of work who thinks a wife having his name gives him control over it and her?

Professional reputation that should say.

I still get looked up and get enquiries for a business I folded about 10 years ago. If I was still in that business and changed my name back I would have lost business there potentially!

A rather awkward situation occurred when after divorce and remarriage, the ex wife's new husband wanted to change his name to her ex husband's name. The ex was rightly indignant and tried to stop it happening. She wanted to ditch the husband yet keep his name! A bit cheeky IMO.

What's cheeky about that? Surely it's her name? (unless you believe that wives are chattels of their husbands). The ex sounds really controlling

My sister's DIL calls herself by her maiden name but I've never asked if she's Mrs or Ms.

For the sake of argument she's married to Fred Bloggs and she's Freda Smith.

The child has both surnames - Jane Smith Bloggs.

Happy to dump my maiden name, it was foreign, and I was mispronounced all my way through school, thanks grandad Then when I married the first time took my ex's name, which was French, and I was mispronounced through my working life. Married again and took my husband's English surname, not that common, so we were continually spelling it on those occasions when name is asked for. Some years later, a celebrity emerged with the same name, a bit of a knobhead slightly annoying person so now when we have to save spelling it, we just say "same as ---" He's well known in the states too where we've been quite often, and one of the check in staff at a hotel asked us if he was a relative "no thank God came the reply"

I don't mind if my married name is prefixed by Ms or Mrs, not bothered.

Having said all that I understand why women retain their maiden name for work, I'd probably do that now.........then again maybe I wouldn't cos I'd be forever spelling it.

In these days of equality, it seems old-fashioned for the bride to take her husbands name. However, I was legally married and all my children are legitimate and have the same father. Therefore, although I am now divorced I am still Mrs L. I am making a statement...I may be single but I'm not an old maid.

Do "old maids" actually exist?

Isn't it more about choices these days?

I have always been happy to be a Mrs, although I have been a widow for nearly 3 years. I grew up in an age where you automatically took your husband`s surname, but I would have wanted to anyway. And I still wear my wedding and eternity rings.

Yes, Gonegirl...I have known several very attractive women who have chosen to have nothing to do with men. Perfectly understandable!

When a friend of mine got married her husband took her name. She had an unusual french name and wanted to keep it going. His name was a very ordinary english one that she didn't want. This was 30 years ago so was unusual then.

I was glad to get married and take my husband's surname. I hated mine. I am married again. But I haven't changed my name totally . I hate the thought of medical records getting confused or bank details etc. For social events I use my husband's surname. But its so hard to get used to another name. When we go to hotels or theatre etc quite often we can't remember who booked and under what name and once in Gatwick airport I nearly wasn't allowed on the plane as I had brought my Irish passport which was in my new surname. Luckily I had my driving licence.
I think its simpler if both people have the same surname when possible. Its only a name.

I do think its strange to keep Mrs post divorce. I would assume re-married. Think its fine if widowed.

RosieLeah - what’s the difference between “an old maid” and “very attractive women who want nothing to do with men” ?.

annepl - it isn’t only a name though is it?

I was (still am) happy to be a Mrs and take my DH’s name....
It’s a lovely name ? I will always keep it ( and the Mrs too.)

when my daughter remarried her children from her first marriage were upset they had a different name from her so she had t shirts and sweatshirts made for them all with the initial of their surname which was the same .They call themselves Clan B .Whe their dad remarried his daughter was uoset and angry that his new wife had HER name .Its important to some and we should respect that a name means a lot whether its your dads or some other mans

50 years ago I tried to keep my maiden name when I married, but got bogged down in a morass of problems and doubts about the legality of what I wanted to do, so in the end I gave up.

I envy my DDiL's assumption that she would continue to be known by her birth surname after her marriage to DS, a decision which I wholly support.

I've always been Ms - it covers all the bases .

When I remarried 10 years ago I kept my former name ( ie the same name as my adult children ) since that had been my name for 30 years and I saw no reason to change. My current DH has no problem with that either - I don't think he has ever thought about it. That is just my name, and the name of my children and grandchildren.

Interesting range of responses. Attitudes are changing. It's the title I am struggling with. If you keep your birth name, would you be Mrs. Birth name, generally speaking Mrs indicates marriage and the surname who you are married to. So I am thinking that the title would be Ms. birth name, not Mrs birth name. If you see what I am saying! Although it seems that there are no customs to support any course of action.

Didn't have a good relationship with my Dad, nor his family, so was only too happy to give up my maiden name and take my husband's. And I adopted Mrs because, in my opinon, every woman when she reaches 18 should automatically go from Miss and become a Mrs - just as men transition from Master to Mr. Mrs = a shortened form of Mistress, which used to mean a mature woman (nothing to do with marriage). If we'd done that decades ago, wouldn't have had to invent Ms.

I am divorced but always kept my maiden name when married. Disliked Ms so used Miss if needed. My children have my surname as a middle name

I just use my Christian name and surname with no prefix and have done all my life. No problem. Mischieviously my Christian name could refer to either gender so although I am female letters etc. are often addressed to "Dear Sir" which makes me smile. Why should it matter either personally or professionally, and as a teacher it has not been a problem for the last 40 years.

No perfect way round this. Changing name rejects your family of origin and results in losing contact with childhood friends. Today I'd go hyphenated.

When I married for the 2nd time I kept my 1st (late) husband's name because here in Italy women keep their own name when they marry. The children of the marriage take their fathers name. As all my accounts and passport were in my 1st married name it was easier than reverting to my maiden name. Also H's 1st wife still uses his name!!

I am married therefore I am a Mrs
I haven't taken on my husband's surname. He asked if I wanted him to take on mine as it is quite unusual.
We discussed pros and cons for changing. Due to both of us being older (2nd for both ) and well established in our careers neither changed
My daughter in law has kept her maiden name as again she is well established in her profession
My grandson has my son's surname
Though many years ago we were applying for a mortgage our bank was concerned (!!!) That we had said we were married but had different names.