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Gc lacking in life skills.

(104 Posts)
kircubbin2000 Thu 08-Aug-19 13:04:43

10 yr old asked for sausage roll for lunch today. I heated it and wrapped it in a napkin so that he could eat it in front of tv.Came into room 10 mins later and he hadn't touched it. It needs to be cut up! Still didn't eat it. Seagulls had it. I asked him to put my bin out and he said he didn't know where it went.His mum still cuts up his dinner so I said nothing.

Esspee Fri 09-Aug-19 19:10:13

As my two reached secondary school age we introduced a once a week special dinner where I served an "eating out" type of meal to get them used to the wide variety of cuisines, serving styles and tableware. For example prawns would be whole and they simply followed our lead in peeling them, putting the debris on a side plate then using the provided finger bowls. With snails they learned how to get the little blighters out. With Chinese food the use of chopsticks etc.
Many years later I was amused when DS1 mentioned that he was appalled at how uncouth so many of his peers were when eating out and how senior management seemed to assess them over elaborate dinners. He thanked me for teaching him proper table manners.

Grannyrebel Fri 09-Aug-19 19:22:31

My 10yr old GD gives me baking lessons! I think there's something wrong here somehow wink

Saggi Fri 09-Aug-19 19:46:54

My 11 year old grandson cut back my three giant bushes last week as my arthritic shoulder was playing up. He grabbed the loppers ( which apparently looked cool)...I showed him how to handle them with safety first as his 7 year old sister was in the garden....she then asked if she could clear up all the cuttings for me , which she did....taking garden rubbish out to front of house and depositing in garden bin!!! She made 6/7 journeys with armliads of Stuff. It took them both 2 hours of hard graft . When they’d finished I gave them both £7 each fit a job well done. They didn’t know about being rewarded before the work. Then the 11 year old made sandwiches for lunch and brewed some tea. He’s now always after little jobs to do around bans house...and there’s plenty to keep him busy.

Saggi Fri 09-Aug-19 19:49:13

...that’s ‘ nans house’..... oh they also have a grandad sitting in living room...but at 11 my grandson already knows it’s useless to appeal to him...he’s got his measure...he don’t like to swear!

Jaxie Fri 09-Aug-19 20:46:46

My neighbour told me that she cooked steak and chips for her 10 year old granddaughter. The girl said, " I'm not eating that." The grandmother said nothing, but scraped the food into the bin and didn't offer to provide a substitute. Apparently the bad behaviour was not repeated.

MissAdventure Fri 09-Aug-19 20:49:17

I've never accommodated that kind of behaviour.
Its a home, not a cafe, so if its not wanted they go without. smile
(I can't stand cooking anyway)

Aepgirl Fri 09-Aug-19 21:17:39

Well said Riverwalk. You can’t expect good table manners if you are sitting watching TV whilst eating.

Callistemon Fri 09-Aug-19 23:01:34

I think the sausage roll was a meal, lunch in fact, merlot.
Not a biccie or an apple snack.

H1954 Sat 10-Aug-19 00:05:34

I know of children, NOT my Grandchildren by the way, who do not know how to use a knife and fork, everything is eaten with their fingers! These same kids rarely sit to the dinner table, seemingly it is acceptable to have a plate on their knee in front of the TV! Certainly not in my house!

glammagran Sat 10-Aug-19 01:03:43

Like it Saggi. We put out grandchildren to work on “unpaid internships”.

Lyndiloo Sat 10-Aug-19 03:02:28

The one little disappointing thing is that my daughters have not passed on good table manners to their children. My own mother was very strict about this, and so was I - so I can't understand it. I think it's laziness on their part. But if you start good table manners from the off, it just becomes second nature.

I'm afraid I have to speak up sometimes. Can't help myself. 'Don't make a noise when you eat.' 'Put your knife and fork correctly on the plate when you've finished.' Etc.

Luckily, mums and dads don't seem to take offence at this - rather smile at my 'oddity'. SIL said one day, 'What does it matter?'

I explained that it will matter, when they're older and go out to dinner with their peers - not knowing what cutlery to use - not knowing that you don't begin to eat until everyone at the table is served, not knowing how to use a table napkin, etc. They'll look pretty foolish then!

We must equip our children with good table manners, so that in later life they will be able to eat with anyone and not be shamed by their lack of manners.

However, as I look after the grandchildren often, I've taught them what to do. My 5-year old granddaughter can lay a table perfectly. And my 3-year old grandson is fast catching up.

It makes me smile when the family go out somewhere for dinner. I can catch the children's eyes, frown, and they immediately correct whatever is wrong.

I've won! (Just hope they remember, when I'm long gone!) smile

harrigran Sat 10-Aug-19 09:38:49

Just re-read this thread and can honestly say that I have never fed my GC with sausage rolls, cut up or otherwise. I do not actually consider that to be a meal.

Callistemon Sat 10-Aug-19 09:49:22

Riggie I posted that too then thought that I must have bad manners.
It would spoil the enjoyment to cut it up.
Not that I've eaten a sausage roll larger than cocktail size for years.

kircubbin2000 Sat 10-Aug-19 11:31:03

This was a large one from the bakery. To tell the truth it didn't taste very nice. I won't shop there again. For all you miseryguts who say it wasn't a meal he is never hungry at that time and eats a main dinner at night.I can't see what harm relaxing in front of
tv will do him. He had a busy morning playing golf and later did a practice exam for 11 plus.

Grammaretto Sat 10-Aug-19 13:14:40

I am a little surprised by this story but kircubbin2000 seems to be apportioning blame to the child's mother because it is she who usually cuts up his food. I can be almost 100% sure this will be the DiL rather than the DD. (I'm getting used to the undercurrents of GN) wink

Is the child not trusted with a knife?
I met a physics teacher who complained that her class of 11 yr olds were too afraid to light a match, to light the Bunsen Burners. So she spent the whole class teaching them all how to light a match , safely. They were delighted to be given some responsibility.

kircubbin2000 Sat 10-Aug-19 13:23:41

As an only child he is rather protected .Mum woñt leave him in house to run to shop 500 yds away. Also not allowed to walk to other gran across a small road ,a 3 minute walk.
I try to expand his horizons but for example he was reluctant to start our game of golf as we hadn't paid.When the attendant opened up I told gs to run back with the money but he was too shy.

Grammaretto Sat 10-Aug-19 13:40:53

In that case, I sympathise. If he is a bit shy and reluctant to break any rules. It sounds as if you should spend more time with him, getting to know and understand him better and perhaps sharing stories of his dad when he was that age?
I can remember being taught how to use an iron, knit, sweep the floor, peel potatoes, collect eggs from the hens etc by my gran, when I was between the ages of 7 and 10 (when she died)

Maggiemaybe Sat 10-Aug-19 17:45:08

I’m surprised that people look down so on the humble sausage roll. Surely not many of us exist exclusively on quinoa, avocado and organic houmus? Treats are allowed, aren’t they?

Though I’m probably just trying to justify the fact that I’ve just scoffed the entire top layer of the Black Magic I won on a tombola earlier. blush

Riverwalk Sat 10-Aug-19 17:58:50

Did anyone look down on the sausage roll?

I was pointing out the irony of the OP lamenting her GS's lack of life skills but giving him a sausage roll to eat with his hands in front of the TV.

Callistemon Sat 10-Aug-19 18:11:54

Faced with a sausage roll or organic houmous my hand would go to the sausage roll but my brain would say 'no, houmous, houmous!'

Chocolates for seconds.

MissAdventure Sat 10-Aug-19 18:14:20

A sausage roll in front of the tv. What has the world come to, eh?
The world is going to hell in a handcart! (Ironic.icon)

Grammaretto Sat 10-Aug-19 18:17:30

I wish I liked sausage rolls! I had my first vegan SR from Greggs the other day. I ate it in a oner - no cutting necessary- and it was quite nice but cost £1. Organic houmus would have been cheaper.

I don't care for quinoa either Maggiemaybe. or Black magic!

MissAdventure Sat 10-Aug-19 18:21:58

I remember years ago saying to my friend that sausages were made out of all the horrible bits of an animal, like nostrils and bums.
"I don't care" she said "i'll eat anything's arse if it tastes nice!"
grin

Callistemon Sat 10-Aug-19 18:44:13

Greggs is shut now sad
I'll have to wait until Monday.

kircubbin2000 Sat 10-Aug-19 18:59:25

Don't get your point Riverwalk, were not living in a stately home here!